A liquid fizzing soul
Filled with darkest dreams,
Sheathed in red robes of metal
Instilled with fluid heaven.
Succulent aroma of fantasies
Bleeding savory drops of zest
That dance on tongues of flesh
Caressing sensitive buds of flavor.
And spilling down the throat of yesteryear
This deciduous carbonated adventure
Holds fast to the drowning spirit
Of a dehydrated hallucination.
Author notes
Option 3
It can have many interpretations but it is truly about Coca-Cola.
A contest entry
- Stagger Me with Description by Ontarah.
550 points, ended March 25, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great job. Diffrent but good.
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You're right about it having different intrepretations, and if you hadn't mentioned coke I must admit I would have thought about something else entirely. Regardless, I like that potential double meaning. It is in and of itself a very clever way to describe it. I really like the phrases "sheathed in red robes of metal" and "bleeding savory drops of zest" Those are very creative and descriptive though the creativity is by no means limited to those lines. The choice of words in the entire poem is very well thought out. It does go over the line limit slightly but as it's a minor deviation I don't think it poses a problem. Thanks for this great entry and good luck!
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Thanks
Thanks for your entry. I will be back when the contest ends to give you my thoughts. Best of luck to you in my contest.
Tali
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Thank you for entering my contest. Because of my poor wording people got the wrong meesage about this contest and so i need to delete it. Thank you though for taking the time to write ssomething very original or my contest. For you writing something for this contest and then there not being a prize at all I am giving all the peots who entered 25 points to show that i am sorry about having to close the contest after asking them to write something quite different. I'm sorry again. Bec
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Thank you sweetheart. I'm glad you liked it.
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Your great, you make anything sound awesome. Coca Cola come on.
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