She's so dang excited
that I am going to take her out.
She finally wears a smile,
instead of that constant pout.
She bought a new dress,
been hogging the bathroom.
I'll have to bang on the door,
if she doesn't come out soon.
I can hardly believe it,
we are going out to dinner.
If he can be a gentleman,
tonigh I'll be his naughty little sinner.
I hate these aerosol cans,
the hairspray's like glue.
I'll try to unstick it,
and spray it down the loo.
Finally she is out!
Man I thought I was going to blow.
A few more minutes and,
even I don't want to know!
Ah! Now as I do my business,
I will sneak me a smoke.
What she don't know won't hurt her,
if I can get this match to stoke. . . .
Mabel, when the paramedics got him out,
from under the debris,
they got to laughing so hard,
they dropped him, breaking his knee!
Now what I'll never understand,
is what could have blown his ass up.
What I do know is this,
'You might be a redneck if ... you light a match in your bathroom and your house explodes off it's wheels.'
Silver trophy winner
Adding your comment:
Thanks for the giggle, guess I'll go back and finish my hog jowls and black-eyed peas!
Storm 
Thanks hun. I appreciate you reading and commenting.
Ahhh, gotta wipe the tears from my eyes, that was a riot. You penned a great write here. Gotta love redneck humor. Be blessed and best wishes in the contest.
