Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

My Last Match

We need your help my mates had said
so at crack of dawn I left my bed.
I raised myself from that tempting pillow
leaving my dreams of leather on willow.

I raced around to finish my chores
then carefully left for the great outdoors.
Ninety minutes in a crowded bus
and then I was met with friendly fuss.

Off to the pavilion so that, out of sight
I could don the garments clean and white.
Then outside where a tossed coin revealed
who would bat and who would field.

Our luck was in and so were we
so two went out whilst I drank tea.
Slowly our score crept ever higher
without any appeal to the umpire.

When the fortieth over was over
it looked as if our team was in clover.
two hundred and five the score to beat
the opposition were headed for defeat.

But still they played like men possessed
with vim and vigour and plenty of zest.
Their scoring strokes were going quite well
Although the occasional wicket still fell.

But we were determined we would not yield
and madly chased each ball across the field.

Then six balls left and six still to score.
Things were tight and our hopes did soar.

Five balls gone and the over still maiden
the opposition's hearts were heavily laden.
The final ball was given a mighty clout
but I ran fast to catch him out.

I reached out one despairing hand
I caught the ball as if it had been planned.
The bowler gave a mighty cry
whilst I could only stand and sigh.

Though no one else had a very good view
I was there and alas I knew
That though the praises could easily be mine
I knew for a fact, I'd been over the line.

My team mates thought no runs were scored
yet I knew there should be a six on the board.
I knew I could be the hero of them all.
But I had to confess where I caught the ball.

The match was over and my team had lost,
and I thought about what it had cost.
Yet I knew I would have felt much more sad
had I not made the choice I had.

Author notes

I wonder what I would have done had it really happened ?
Written October 7th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Whisper Mckee
    June 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Makes me think of girlhood days. I just wish I hadn't spent so much time sliding face first into base.This be a different game.


    • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
      June 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I used to be a rugby player myself and, playing on a farmer's cow field, we tended to slide into something a lot worse than first base.
      Jim

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    November 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Joe.
    As you may have gathered this was all fiction. I very rarely play cricket. It was simply written to fit the competition.
    I am glad you enjoyed it and that it did make you think.
    Thanks for writing.
    Jim

  • The Elder
    November 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding!!!!!

    very great work jim! interesting. though I don't know what I would of done in your possision, but I clearly think your narrator made the right choice (or you). Very well put, and once again I like the rhyme scheme poetry. Your suggestion on Sgt B was great. His bear poem was Ausome!! He's also on my favorites thanks to you. Keep impressing me. Your Friend, Joe

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your nice comment Jadon.
    I tried to match the poem to the competition theme but also I like to think that, had the event happened, I would have had the courage to do the right thing.
    Jim


  • Jadon
    October 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Flows nicely

    I enjoyed following the game and especially enjoyed the way the game ended, Thank you for ending this poem with a taste of honesty. It is something needed in our day and probably , I suspect, appreciated by those who read your work as it was by myself.
    In the third-last stanza, there you stand and because of the decision made the game was won contrary to the count of the score. Nicely done

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the kind words Venu. Personally I feel that it is just us old fashioned folk that play it straight these days AND I'm completely of the booze
    Jim

  • pvenugopal
    October 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Not everything is cricket nowadays, dear Jim. You are too old-fashioned to play it straight. But a few jugs of beer after such a game will make you feel great, I am sure. Beautiful poem and it captures the thrill of the game beautifully. I was on the edge of the seat as the last ball soared into the skies.

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I was a little taken aback myself at the way this flowed once the original seed was sown, and I have you to thank for that. The contest was the inspiration and, whatever happens, I am glad I looked in at Wandika's poem.
    TTFN
    Jim


  • Touchof1der silver member
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was more than just a poem of deep thought, this was a journey and a thrill ride! Great job Jim. I love what you have penned here. I felt as if I wads part of the audience and could feel the tension building with each line penned. Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck!
    ♥ Touchof1der
    Edited on Oct 10, 2:11 p.m. because 'My fingers move faster than my brain!'.


  • Hannahs Mom
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I appreciate being able to see your work and I thank you for all the kind things you say to me,as well.


  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Your very welcome Ron. Thanks for visiting.
    Jim

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi there nounou
    I'm glad you liked my cricket piece even though it wasn't true.
    Thanks for the nice words and the loud applause.
    Jim


  • lake of dremas
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great

    what i liked in your poem is the fact that you could turn a simple story into deep verses and make it touch the readers.. 'cause the act of playing football makes me indifferent but the way you described it makes me really feel like i were in the stadium with you.. sharing your pain of loosing.. well done..then i must applause.i'm glad that you wrote a new poem and keep writing my boss:-)


  • Sgt B
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice story, really fun read thanx for sharing. ~Ron~


  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Hal


  • KevinDunn
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent! Very clever rhyymes and worthy of you!

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice idea but it sounds too much like hard work.
    I appreciate your repeated visits to view my poems and am grateful for your kind words.
    Jim

  • Hannahs Mom
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I,too,thought this was real
    Bet you'd write a lovely play/screenplay/book with your imagination. I can invision you writing a wonderful children's book. Especially a fairy tale of some sort.


  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Ann,
    I'll need all the UCK I can get.
    Jim


  • annamoy
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is an enjoyable read and actually makes cricket seem quite exciting, even to a non-sporting fan like myself! Even though you said there is no truth in this tale, you made it sound very real,so well done and good uck in the contest, Jim.

    Ann

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the nice comment and the touching faith that I would have done the right thing. I can only hope I would but I fear it will never happen.
    Jim

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    October 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for all those nice words (I liked imbue best ). I was looking at a poem by one of my favourites (Wandika) entitled Sailing Ships when I realised it was part of a competition and whilst reading the competition rules the idea was suddenly there.
    Cricket is a game I have very rarely played and always as number 11, the last man in. There is absolutely no truth in the tale but it just seemed to flow from the pen.
    I'm pleased to have written it and I'm glad you liked it but I think Wandika's is much better.
    Jim


  • funpum
    October 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful - I was desperate to get to the end and see if you won (and I don't even like cricket or indeed any sport whatsoever) and somehow you have managed to imbue this poem with all the hope and joy and disappointment but mainly that agony where you know the path you have to take will upset people you hold dear, but it must be taken... I'm very pleased you took the correct route -I feel the same way.


  • The Poetic Angel
    October 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    a brill poem.the first cricket poem ive read on here lol i asume had the game took place you would have been honest in your decision and done the right thing..well done n good luck in contest.smiles ~cheeky~

1 - 25 of 25