Bliss, Ignorance, Bliss

I have much to say to you but I will only spare you a couple.
I want to tell you that I'm sorry,
Because I'm needing you more than anything now.
It hurts as I quietly run from the pain I feel,
but life is not as what I always thought it would be
And if I could I'd do it all over again;
Straight from the very start.
I want to know about all that went through your mind before you abruptly left me in silence.
If these apologies aren't enough for you to forget what had happened,
I have no ideas left to tell you how much I've lost it the day you gave my heart a beating;
It was quiet, too quiet and so hard,
And I was foolish.

Is there forgiveness left in the heart I once knew,
but should it be forever forgotten?
Or was it all something that pity brought along?
Because I have a million questions
and I could tell the way you hated me through the expressions of your words.
No one told me it would be this hard,
that love would one day leave me in ruins
And that the morals of everyday changes with the moods of its owner.
I cannot understand how you could have faked emotions,
Luring me into a trap I saw myself fall into,
but I sit here today asking you for your forgiveness.

Because I miss you,
And have found myself doing nothing without hearing your voice on a regular basis.
You don't know how lucky you are,
Being able not to feel the hollowness of a soul
since your life is perfect and planned.
As I head aimlessly into a maze,
Wishing for the ability to pull the pieces apart
But I'm wanting to run back to the start,
to feel my lips touch the skin of yours.
And I want to tell you I love you.
Because nothing could speak as loud as my heart.

I've been crying,
But trying so hard to hide from the mistakes
Because they're more to me then just regrets;
They're the reminder that I deserved what I got.
I don't want you to know that I'm breaking apart,
But I need these words to pour from my soul,
and they're only here for you to reconsider your actions.
I've been running the same obsticale for awhile now.
Knowing that we've gotten quite distant,
Only I still believe that you'd be there,
But for now I'll be walking side by side with loneliness.

You don't know; I want you to know
That you're the reason why my life carried on strongly.
Without you now I've been a mess; completely dysfunctional
and without a doubt no longer the same.
Write me out to a different place
To a place where I could forget all that has come to pass
And carry on like normal people do.
Because I'm dieing inside,
or slowly at least.
If you could find it in you to search for me
I'm hoping for the best;
just hoping you'd come for me
And tell me you love me.
And like you've always meant it.