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To Get To Complication

Start off where you are, head straight to the end of the road

Turn right onto the bypass

And follow on till the next junction

Go past righteousness onto solitude

Go forward into the realm of self doubt

Go straight through the gateway to inner peace

You are there

Breathe in the air, fill your lungs with darkness

Listen to the harmonics of children whispering your name

Watch as the bird flies low, stealing your pride and shame

This is the place where dreams are made to fall

To get to complication

Think of the misunderstandings of old

Think of the joys of parting and sorrows of coming together

Think of harnessing the key to laughter and never singing again

Author notes

Written on 5th October 2006 at 22:52 GMT

Oooohhhh, great exercise!

In a list

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Comments


  • Kain
    January 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like your second to last line, Laura, it is very interesting. The art of the writing exercise is a treasure. I should try it some day.

    Yours,
    Kain


  • bachelorette silver member
    October 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    2nd comment:
    I like how you mixed both happy and depressing images in this piece; it spells complicated. It's a very give and take kind of poem. It ends on a sad note and an excellent line.
    This is the third poem entered into the contest that mentions "inner peace." Strange.
    Thank you for entering.

    -K

  • bachelorette silver member
    October 7, 2006
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    suggestions: Lines 9 and 10 are good lines, but they don't really fit well into the poem. They stick out in a bad, confusing-the-reader kind of way. I understand you're doing both light and dark in this poem, but I don't think they do the job you want them to do.

    Other than those two lines, I think you did a great job with this, and I'm glad you were able to get the poem in on time. I really love your first line; it seems so apathetic.

    -K


  • Mythtress
    October 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I think I've been going to this place on a regular basis! Lol... good use of your senses and I enjoyed the read. Write on, poet.