If I could find the spot
where every soul met it's mate
it would be covered by the love
and the tenderness of our fate
If I could hear forever
and write it in a song
we would dance the beautiful rhythm
being together where we belong
If I could teach our children
to know what love is true
they need only look at us
for our love will guide them through
If I could be your heartbeat
and you could be mine
we would never be apart
withstanding the test of time
Author notes
Written October 4th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Love in 24 hours. by Name-Amby-Pleasex.
300 points, ended October 5, 2006, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
GOOD STUFF! It's so hard to do a rhyming love poem without sounding trite or cliched. You did that here. It sounds wonderful read aloud as well. I've been doing more formal rhyme at spoken word events. This would work.
Peace, Rob -
Amazing, beuatiful. I loved this. The rhyming went well with this, it flowed well. The images were lovely. I also liked how you started every stanza with the words 'If I could'. This was a really wonderful read.
Love
Amby
[x] -
This poem is TRULY exquisite from the very title on, Charna...You brought so much of the senses into this poem and very uniquely, and it really is one of the most beautiful love poems with such tender images of longing interwoven that I've read at this site.
I'm agreeing with RealEyez's comment above mine--This one's a winner!
Jo -
BEAUTIFUL
wow that was beautiful, as hard as it is for me to say this this ones a winner, good luck in the contest love you WRITE ON ROCK ON WRITE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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