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Sunlight On The Tops Of Trees

    It's late November. Driving home from Tennessee. With all the rest, my mind does wander, winding, roaming down the road, this highway blessed. I crest the first of many hills, and my trance is broken. For, through it, sees my eye, atop a mountain in a nearby land, sunlight on the tops of trees.
    My soul gives pause, and awes at this greater, nobler mountain's crown, thus donned at dawn, then bathed in bliss all day, 'til just before sundown. There crowned again, except that now, chapeau royale tipped the other way, it's dancing jewels dazzling bright, for so sunlight on the tops of trees will play.
    I long to stare, yet dare not, for the road demands it's due. So do I give. Yet, all the more, my soul looks toward the view for that sustaining moment telling, to which my soul did awake. But not sustained for me, for homeward must I go. So will I think myself a young man who did roam this same path on foot long ago, yea, at the brink of twilight, halting when he sees the sunlight on the tops of trees.
    Having been, thus, there halted hence, he sees a stump on which to rest his eyes on the magnificence of the scene. And swelled in his breast such an awe that he felt his heart might break forth from his chest, and that his lungs inspire so as to part his sides. His legs, like the great cats spring forth with pow'r upon their prey, so might his mighty young thighs catapult him across the way to where sunlight on the tops of trees signifies the end of day.
    “But such is the stuff of so much fantasy.”, he thought. Though strong, he was yet weary from the long day’s longer travels. “To think to traverse this valley below in one lone leap is surely delusion and dream, foolish of mind, folly of mine”. And so, to rest--he would sit…and sift through the sieve of this moment’s relief, the grains of time that had passed through the glass of his life up ‘til now. Each granule a step, each breathing of breath one grain less that is left in this life. Both the grandest and grainiest of steps moving ever closer to death, but, first, toward this crest where life and sunlight on the tops of trees shall prove more resilient than even bitter death’s best.

    He knows not how to satisfy the land, and yet he breathes. He deeply breathes the air, and swears it is the same as that which came by breeze from where he sees the sunlight on the tops of trees.

Author notes

On my way home from a USAF Tech School (Knoxville, TN) in November, 1999, I decided to swing through Nashville to visit my friend, Tashahara. I left her home at around 4-5pm, and knew I had many mountains and hills to drive over, before I got to Toledo. I wasn't prepared for what I saw, however, when I rounded the corner at the top of the 1st big hill. Across a small valley, on a much higher mountain, the sunlight of the already set sun skimmed over the horizon to illuminate only the tops of the trees at the top of that mountain. If you ever want to try to find it, it's traveling North on I-65, somewhere between Nashville, TN and Frankfort, KY. I had my Walkman, and started describing as best I could what I saw, how I felt...and my wish that I could have stopped to enjoy it. It turned into sort of a story that I don't know if I will ever finish. I have the end, but I keep pushing it back, with a few added/inserted sentences, every few years. It's been a dry spell, but that's all. It's not a muse.

22NOV2006 UPDATE! I'm adding a direct link to the YouTube reading of this piece. You can hear it at--
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH7oRFhtyKU
God Bless You.
Sincerely,
Marvin J. †
Category 2; L'été du sable.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38
  • firefly star
    October 19

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    thanks for entering my contest. This was an absolute pleasure to read, and it set my mind imagining. I love the prompt in your AN. good luck in the contest and keep writing!


  • JinSays gold member
    October 9
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    loved this, thank you.
    love,
    jin


  • AlexandraHamilton
    October 7

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    Beautiful to behold. I say this, and not 'to read', because I seem to see what you saw in this, what you wrote.


    • Black JaPanther
      October 7
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      Your heartfelt compliment

      Is greatly appreciated.
      Thanks, very much.
      God Bless You.
      Sincerely,
      Marvin J.†


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    September 26

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    This is very beautifully written. What you describe here is a very beautiful scene. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest.

    • Black JaPanther
      September 30
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      You Are Kind

      Words couldn't do it justice, but I tried my best, and am grateful that you appreciated it. Thank you very much for the award, Fair Ms. Julie.

      Sincerely,
      Marvin J. †


  • Antebellum
    September 24

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    I actually live in Scott County Ky. Its 30 or so miles from frankfort. I know exactly what your explaning here. Its beautiful.

    thank you for entering.
    good luck


  • Tqop
    September 8
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    Wow! This was a marvelous job. I thank you for your entry, and for sharing.


  • Telfu
    August 25

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    This story is absolutely fantastic. It's perfect. Your imagery is STUNNING, I really wish I could have seen the view you saw, and felt the way you felt seeing it. You describe your emotions and thoughts so incredibly well.

    “To think to traverse this valley below in one lone leap is surely delusion and dream, foolish of mind, folly of mine”

    Beautifully said. I love it when people use speech in poetry, and this piece is a fine example. Thank you for entering and good luck to you =)

    • Black JaPanther
      August 26
      Edit | Reply

      Young Sir Vash...

      ...Could you be more kind? I don't think so. I believe words were more meant to be heard than seen. More spoken than read. Of course, they must be recorded to be retained and read to be shared, but I always hesitate to even call these pieces poetry not because of any lack of structure, but because that term comes with so many constraints. I'm not a prolific writer, but of the pieces that have been Gifted to me, this is the one of which I'm most in awe. As it came out, my brain felt totally disengaged and it was like I was a 3rd party just watching the wondrous scene flow into some strange Black Japanese man's eyes and directly out of his mouth into a little tape recorder.

      If I ever win the lottery, I will fly back and drive it again, with a camcorder-wielding passenger in tow. Then, let you know when it's posted online. Big if, I know. (^_^)

      Have a super day, and thanks again for your generous comments.

      Sincerely,
      Marvin J. †


  • HereComesTheSun
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    a great poem that tells a great story

    my suggestion is for you space it up and not have it be in one big clump.
    its always easier to read in smaller sections.

    thanks for entering


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    August 20
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    Eh, this poem would be better if it mentioned something about meat


  • The Accidental Poet
    August 7
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    seems more like a journal entry that poetry.


  • BrokenHeart95
    August 7
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    Well,that one was pretty good,but doesn't remind me a lot of poetry...


  • Not-The-Sun
    August 6

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    i like that this piece shows the reader what you were thinking at the time, it's very refreshing. I have been getting rather attached to free verse and prose lately, and I like this style but I admit that I think it could be broken up more, with more spaces and shorter lines to make it easier to read. Your words definitely captured my attention though


  • TwiztidMaggot
    August 5

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    This is a good piece. Keep up your great work, thanks for entering my contest. I wish you the best of luck.

    TwiztidMaggot


  • tearrsofthemoon
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful little piece here. It is so descriptive and I really enjoyed the read. It is more of a story than a poem but all is well. I enjoyed it none the less. Thank you for sharing and good luck in my contest.


  • Resokona
    March 9
    Edit | Reply

    I like

    It sounds like it would be beautiful...definitely a good story to hear

    • Black JaPanther
      March 9
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      Thanks, Kevin...

      ...I'm sure Kansas has it's own share of beautiful scenes. I believe it's one of the states I haven't yet been through. In time, in time.
      Have a super-blessed day, and thanks for your kind comment & the time you took to post it.

      Sincerely,
      Marvin J.


  • Heroesrox
    February 24

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    Lovely piece! Thanks so much for entering! Best of luck to you!


  • LilEmoPrincess
    January 28
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    its more liek a sotry then a poem..and you eed to pute Muse inur auhers notes

    • Black JaPanther
      January 28
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      Thank You...

      ...for your feedback. I was putting that word in the notes, and when I finished, there was your comment. God Bless You.

      Sincerely,
      Marvin J. †


  • YesterdaysDreams
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    He knows not how to satisfy the land, and yet he breathes. He deeply breathes the air, and swears it is the same as that which came by breeze from where he sees the sunlight on the tops of trees.

    fantastic imagery, loved the ending. Sorry I am leaving such short comments, lots of entries to read brilliant write here.

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    October 6, 2008
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    Thank you for your most beautifully descriptive write, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for entering the contest. I live along I-65 path, and know the beauty it can hold. Congratulations on the honorable mention you received. Unfortunately since you did win a trophy for this piece you are not eligible to win one here.

    ♥
    whisper


  • Rizzie
    October 1, 2008

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    this is absolutely beautiful! i wish i lived there so i could see it sometime. thanks for the entry and best of luck!

    • Black JaPanther
      October 1, 2008
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      Speaking of Beautiful...

      ...Thank you for your kind comment, Fair Rizzie, and for the HM Cup. I am very grateful that you enjoyed the piece.

      You don't necessarily have to live there. Just keep it in mind, in case you ever have to make a cross-country trip by car.

      GBU, MDJ. †


  • Riamh
    September 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great read, thank you for entering it in the contest. Best of luck.
    Slayer

  • raymondsgirl8708
    September 9, 2008
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    I'm speachless. wonderful write and thank you for entering


  • Childofserenity
    August 19, 2008
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    i love nature, such a great thing. Thanks for entering.


  • Hetha gold member
    August 3, 2008

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    I'm glad you did stop and capture the moment. I as a reader, could feel how it moved you and inspired you to write and describe it so very well. Thank you for entering this in my contest.

  • thenorthernstar
    June 28, 2008
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    not bad very long read more like a story than a poem really but I liked it ty for entering


  • Trixie08
    November 30, 2006
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    Great!

    I loved your story and it touched me in a way. Great Work and thank you for sharing it with me.

  • Black JaPanther
    October 6, 2006
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    Thanks, Kristy.

    I've always said I wanted to go back at that approximate season and time, and see if I could once again see what I saw--only this time making sure to pull off the road and sit for a while. Like so many other things in life, though...(...sigh...)...

    I'm glad you were able to tolerate the paragraph form.

    Thanks again for your encouraging comments...and your kind welcome. God Bless You And Your Loved Ones.

    Sincerely,
    Marvin J.
    >


  • LionessK
    October 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I have been on that highway quite a few times.. I lived in KY when I was little and my Grandparents were from Knowville.
    You have some absolutely gorgeous descriptions here. Really beautiful and wonderfully put together. I usually do not like to read writes in the paragragh form but it didn't matter here. The beauty of your words.. feeling and meaning.. that is what I see here. Truly an excellent read. Thank you for sharing..
    welcome to the site

    ~Kristy

1 - 38 of 38