My name claimed by a desire
An obsession
That does not take human lives
My wishes swallowed by this desire
My dreams consumed by this obsession
This love is more than a drug
How the mirror melted in front of my face
Leaving no more than a pale reflection
Of what I thought to be
But this reflection
Eroded by the obsession for a little love
How my once so wonderful name
Became a reflection
Became a died out flame
And was never spoken again
How this obsession for a little love
Took my life
Dead in your mind, but living through these lonesome days
Author notes
No no! I'm damn happy with my boyfriend!! I luv him! Ik houd van je, Gerjon! .. but this is sad ...
enjoy
Written October 3rd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great poem you've written. I really like how you used desire and obsession in the first verse and then redid it in the second verse. It fittet very well.
It's crazy how much love can effect one, isn't it? -
Than a drug*
Than is used in comparison.
Very nice, but I feel like some of the things you say don't make a lot of sense to me... -
Really good write you've got here...you use imagery very well. I especially like the lines:
How the mirror melted in front of my face
Leaving no more than a pale reflection
Those were perfect! Great job.
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Amazing
I loved the word choice. The 'metaphor' of unanswered love "taking your life" is very powerful.
In my opinion, the best stanza was:
"How the mirror melted in front of my face
Leaving no more than a pale reflection
Of what I thought to be
But this reflection
Eroded by the obsession for a little love"
This stanza is so perfect: sorrowful, powerful, and it embodies everything you want to express about your unanswered love. Great job! -
A very intense write, my fellow poet... you have depicted a very vivid picture here for us.... the flow is superb, as well as the feeling intended... write on, poet!! Jay~
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brilliant babe,
ur feeling are very well expressed, its such a shame how love is so consuming... i wish too that it wasnt so. but as i say... life goes on, love yourself mostest!
keep on writin'
holly x
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