The sun was a rosy peach color with full fluttering rays
that crashed down upon this murky world
long are these kinds of day
and above the moss in the highest of trees
the singing of birds nestle in my ear
and humming of the bees
they annoy me
and I find myself sick and tired of this rosy pink sun
and unfortunately with this hammer I take an old valued life
this tree grew here
I bought this land so now his very existence matters to me
and unfortunately
He will be my table
my trophy for the hate of this world
this will be my hunt
and I will be the hammer holding
smashing molding
completely oblivious to his pain
I'm nothing more than a relentless fool
trying to escape the Autumn breeze and the wind whispering in the trees
this mood I have is solemn
and wont be rearranged
I'll smash all my hate for life
and this hammer will have the worst of wood stains
and this tree will remembered me so
cause I told him my name
before I let it go
and down came my blow one swift swing of my right arm
and inside his flesh
a hole was born
and a snake of grief came to lie upon one of its stumps
it looked at me in dismay
"this fellow tree lived far longer than you" it said
"why take his life away"
and upon that creature hate so came
with the hammer all to blame
I lifted it up to smell my success
just to find that I had made
an unchangeable mess
this is life
everlasting and ongoing as it may be
but to take it from the wood
well that's just wrong of me.
Author notes
Written October 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- III Pre-Writes! by Lj-.
345 points, ended January 7, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This was really great!!!
I love the subject you chose, it's very different.
I especially liked:
""this fellow tree lived far longer than you" it said
"why take his life away"
and upon that creature hate so came
with the hammer all to blame"
Thanks for entering.
Best of Luck! -
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thanks these just so happened to be some thoughts i had when i first came to AP..(aren't all poems just thoughts?) anyways lol im glad to have entered..
alsome contest
tess
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Brilliant,bravo and wonderfull,what a vividly wonderfull story you painted here and i love the meaningfull message that this write conveys its brilliant mensch i could probably go on about it for ages.Well done mensch i really like your awsomely wicked and vividly inspiring immagination.
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awww thanks mr. drug HA HA!
yeah im glad that you didnt laugh. its my favorite out of all my old ones..dunno why lol but this is how menschs mind came to be
thanks again
ages huh!!
mensch tessy kins!
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I love it
You have a very vivid mind I like your poems -
I love this, absolutely amazing. You have a wonderful talent with words. Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to more from you very soon.
~Amber~ -
this is really kewl and good. i dont think its goos its more then good. and definitly NOT bad!!!!!!!!! Keep up the great work.
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this is really kewl and good. i dont think its goos its more then good. and definitly NOT bad!!!!!!!!! Keep up the great work.
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One of the best poems I've seen on AP
I really like this one. I can see some unsaid elements of anger and spite throughout the poem also, but I think this is reflective of modern society...Destroying beautiful things to try and soothe the restlessness within our own heart, which in the end leads to just more unhapiness. I also like the last line, where the narrator sees the folly of his ways and maybe even wants to change. I think it was a privelege to be able to read and comment on this poem. Great work!
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