I was only trying to help, you know,
Since Mum was ill in bed;
But my Auntie Jean was furious ~
Oh boy, did she see red!
She’d left it on the kitchen bench,
Her tasty herbed beef stew,
And the handles offered easy grips,
I could manage it, I knew.
I could pop it in the oven myself
To save a bit of time,
All loaded up with healthy herbs,
Like parsley, sage and thyme.
I pulled on padded oven gloves,
I opened up the door ~
But the blast of heat just hit me,
And I dropped it on the floor!
She didn’t hear it smashing,
Or my stifled cries of pain
As I barked my shin while trying
To scoop it up again.
I rushed into the pantry
As panic filled my head.
“ Oh, Auntie Jean, please stay upstairs”
I desperately said.
I grabbed the mop and bucket,
And threw them in the sink;
Then I turned the taps on full
To give me time to think.
With the bucket filling rapidly,
I crept out to the hall
To see if she was coming down
To catch me, after all.
I forgot about the bucket
As it filled up to the brim,
And by the time I went back in there ~
I almost had to swim!
And as my luck would have it…
Auntie Jean came down just then,
To find the kitchen flooded
Like some ancient mariner’s den.
Her face was indescribable
When she saw her herbed beef stew
Bob merrily over the kitchen floor
And through to the downstairs loo.
Water was gushing everywhere
The dog’s dish floated by…
I couldn’t look at Auntie Jean
With that evil gleam in her eye.
She drew a huge and shuddering breath
(I quaked where I stood!)
Well, then she let me have it ~
She’d have killed me if she could!
She packed her bags and left us
Later that same day.
I asked if she’d forgive me,
But she pushed me out the way.
Since then we haven’t seen her,
Poor Mum is quite perplexed,
For I hadn’t the heart to tell her
Why Auntie Jean was vexed.
Author notes
A tale told from the perspective of a 12 year-old girl, desperately trying to please an ill-tempered aunt who has come to keep house for her unwell sister for a few days...
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme Time by Kevan.
390 points, ended March 3, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BE HILARIOUS AND MAKE EVERY ONE LAUGH. by Mekhala.
400 points, ended June 4, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - VERY EASY 300 Points by Saosin.
396 points, ended January 28, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I enjoyed this a lot. Really good write.
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AWW how sweet i love it i also love how you used rhyming and a sweet pattern i love it thamk you for entering
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lol.....this is really funny with wonderful rhyme and flow...you should have got gold, not me!
i hope to read more of this sort.... -
Lol...it is really funny...I enjoyed the middle portions the most...when the kitchen is flooded and all...keep it up...a really good and funny read...thanks for the entry...
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Wonderful poem, amazing I say!
Really describes how to get in the way!
I love it a lot. I wanna read more!
Your a good poet, I know that for sure!
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great
Great message in this poem. Thought provoking, Imaginative, and I loved your creative imagery. Your carefully chosen words painted a picture as I read your poetic work of art. This poem has a nice natural gentle flow. I defiantly wasn't expecting all of the stuff between the first line and the ending statement. Your wording was excellent.
Great revelation, and a very good poem. I am glad I read it. thanks for sharing. Keep up the great work. Best of wishes to you. good luck in all that you do....peace always in all ways. You rock....
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This is the cutest poem! You have a great imagination and it shows here in this poem. This is so funny!!!! I'll have to check out more of your writngs later.GBY
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I can feel her pain, as i have done a similar thing, thing is, these Aunties (or Grandma's in my case) sure have a long, long, long memory, and it's still spoken about to this day.
Great work, loved the imagery and the rhyme, wonderful job
Karen -
very entertaing. great writing. thanks for sharing your talent. i needed the giggle. good luck. i appreciate your humour.
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this is so well written and put together i could picture every verse clearly in my mind as though watching it and i couldnt help but laugh! theres so many depressing poems here i love reading ones which crack a smile! very well done! thank you for giving me a laugh today!
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LOL This is very funny, I enjoyed when the stew was floating away with the dog dish. We had an aunt like that, and could she give us the evil eye when we were on her bad side! A very humorous poem, thank you for this with us!
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Brilliant!!!
Oh WOW! Thats so amazing...oooh!...I cant help myself laughing...wonderful imagery...the rhyme didnt seem forced anywhere...it was too good....keep it up...cheers, shuvi -
Lol!! Bless Homer's dear, greedy heart!
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wow you really really have to forgive me
i am having to force myself from totally
bursting out in laughter... but then again its
6 30 am and i havent slept yet! i say, this
poem is the cutest in the whole world! imaging
is great i saw that dog bowl float right by in
my computer screen! hilarious and very well written
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hehehe the madness of life eh now i feel like doing a homer simpson and going into a little dreamworld - mmm stew! spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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gorgeous write
Oh my !
Forgive me, I can not help but have a little giggle at this
The poor young girl, you just feel for her with this write
Wanting to help her Aunty and Mum ..makes me wanna go
Awwwwww How sweet is that child
Poor thing hurting her leg trying to clean it up and everything
Awwww
Sorry had to do it again
A very cute poem, very well told...created the images just right for the readers
Keep writing !
Stay safe
~Amanda
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