The night is dark, but streaked
by the glint of moonlight
that reflects off the vampire's fangs.
He stalks through the night,
desiring nothing more than to be mortal
again.
Immortality is not all it appears to be.
The brightness of the moon pains his silver eyes,
and he remembers
He used to look at this same moon
from his mortal bedroom window
wishing for nothing more than to be loved.
This is still his only wish.
Author notes
This was pretty random; I don't really know where it came from. I love fantasy and vampires and all that stuff. Please tell me what you think. I appreciate both positive and negative comments.
Written October 1st, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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random... and weird... which are both things i love to read in poems... i liked it... good job.... keep it up
-Lindsey Jo -
This was awesome...i also love vampires and fantsy and stuff...great write.
<333 Jess -
Fantastic piece of writing my friend a true joy to read.
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Thank you for the comment and the suggestion. I will certainly take it into consideration.
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I like the idea that you've broke away from the stereotypical vampire poems, where it's just blood and pleasure/pain, this one has a little more substance. If I could suggest one thing, I'd try and make it a little more metaphorically, maybe hidden meanings or something, they always add a little somethign extra... but this is fine as it is as it's easy to de-code. Nice job, an interesting read
Thanks very much for the comment! -
Nice write. I don't see much vampire poems anymore... It kept my attention and thats a good thing. I think i'm borderline ADD lol. Anyways it was a nice short, sweet write. Keep crankin them out
Shade -
I kind of liked this just because it kind of tells a type of a story. But I like the way it's wrote too, so good work!
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Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate it. And you're welcome for the comment.
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A great poem, I liked the way that you used the vampire as the outsider rather than the monster here. You showed a feeling for him to have other than just making him scary. Keep writing, this was a great poem even if it was random
Thanks for your comment
All the best
Pozo
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I'm a big fan of Vampires too. Yes yes, extremely random though. Not bad though, I used to write like this, just some random word, or maybe a phrase or sentence, which would spiral down like a snowball collecting more and more and all the sudden I'd end up with this huge thing...idk if this is exactly what you've done, but it seems like the type of result I'd end up with at those times.
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