Darkness is waking up to you,
Smelling your breath upon my bed,
Yet knowing you love another;
I see that you do not care;
And yet I wish you did.
I know it cannot last,
For if it did you'd have to give,
What you wished for most in life.
And I cannot ask you to do that,
For if I did I'd feel like a fool.
You love me not, you love him more;
I wish you could love me instead.
I wish oh wish, that you could love me still.
But instead I will leave, and wish you well;
Upon your lips I leave my love;
For you to always remember me still.
I hope you can have a time, remembering me not,
As I leave I know I do it for you,
Forget me now, forgive me not; for I had to go.
Goodbye my love, fair well my dove;
For now I go on to naught.
Author notes
Made by Jeffrey De Cola (Me) on October 1st at around 1:53 AM ET.
Written October 1st, 2006
Entered into contest 'A Boyfriend for a Girl', by suzume. I entered this because even now it speaks to me, I feel saddened by this and the fact that no matter what we cannot change others, even those that we deeply deeply love. ..and sometimes the best thing to do is leave, especialy if you truly do love them.
A contest entry
- A Boyfriend for a Girl by suzume.
500 points, ended April 28, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
WOW OUTSTANDING
And so sad, When one love another and he or she loves some one else. We keep wishing and hoping they will change there minds and love us again. Departing is so painful and heartbreaking. Beautifully written for a painful event. (Lisa)
"You love me not, you love him more;
I wish you could love me instead.
I wish oh wish, that you could love me still.
But instead I will leave, and wish you well;
Upon your lips I leave my love;
For you to always remember me still."
-
"I hope you can have a time, remembering me not," To me, that was the strongest line. It was certainly the one I felt the most. I don't know that I can relate to these words all the way through, but I know all-too-well what it's like to care deeply for someone who you know loves someone else. It's... tough.
Aside from relatability, I like that this has an honest voice.
Thank you for entering this.
-
OOOO that was sad but at the same time beautiful. I loved how you worded it all it fit everything so perfectly. I look forward to reading more of your poems cuz i think you write really good.
Much luv
~kaila -
I love it! Sad, yes, but touching. A lot of people are experiencing this kind of pain nowadays and you have written a piece telling about this pain in a delicate way. Your choice of words and storyline (for lack of better word) is perfect. I hope to see more fantastic works from you soon
-
Lovely Leave....
Aw....*cwiez* gaaaa....I am so sad lol bleh people. Your poem is good. I love it. *God Bless, With Love, Jo* =)=
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
