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Lovers Moon

Lovers Moon


Standing in this starlit pool
I feel you pull me up so close
To much heat for me to cool
Leaning close the fire flows

Leaving me in a fever dream
of sublime moonlight desire
From the pool rises steam
we touch it rises higher

Your hands sliding over me
I melt into your fluid form
Hold me closer is my plea
I feel myself transform

Your kisses on my neck
burn like fire into my soul
I hold my heart in check
I’m losing all control

Floating here beside you
In soft moonlight I ignite
Flaming my desire anew
I’m trembling with delight

Moonlight sparkling over you
You take me in your arms
Our fiery love can’t be taboo
I give to you my charms

Lilies of light surround us
softly warding off the night
Draw me into your caress
hold on with all your might

Moonlight pool work your magic
take the two and make us one
Then our story will not be tragic
our new life is now begun


  Valerie Peterson Brown  

Author notes

This is The A Poem
Written October 1st, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • JoyfulWriter
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So very beautiful here....words creating a wonderful scene between lovers....just so breathtaking! Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck! Smiles, Terry


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    January 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautifully penned
    Sensual and sultry without going overboard; loved it!
    Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest!


  • Kei-Aira
    October 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sweet and tender poem. You have managed to write a very gentle erotic poem, which flows very well and carries one along. I would point out that in the first stanza you use 'to' instead of 'too'.


    Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest.


  • troyias
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Trina not offended. Made the few corrections you suggested. have a great Day
    Go with God My Child,
    AP Auntie Valerie

  • FindingFate
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    My first advice is not to cap every line. Let it flow with a lowercase letter where needed...such as...

    Leaving me in a fever dream
    of sublime moonlight desire.
    From the pool rises steam
    as we touch, it rises higher.

    You also used delight to rhyme twice. My suggestion would be to change that such as...

    Lilies of light surround us,
    softly warding off the night.
    Draw me into your caress,
    hold on with all your might.

    I hope this is helpful and you are not offended. Overall this is one of the better rhyme pieces you've done. I quite enjoyed the scene it left within my mind. Love your niece...Trina


    Edited on Oct 01, 9:27 because ''.


  • Fire N Ice
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    FANTASTIC

    This piece has wonderful imagery, very fluid, sensual.... i love the flow and the velvet feel it brings. Excellent poetry, what a feast for the senses


  • Losing Hope
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow..This is amazing. Passionate, sensual, beautiful.. and very gentle. I love it! You've done an awesome job with this piece. You explain your feelings amazingly. Awesome write! Keep it up!


    -Flo_<3


  • poet2angels gold member
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Valerie....This is beautiful. In erotica, I always prefer the sensual and this is just that! Bravo to you, my AP Mom you have penned an amazing piece here!
    Lynda


  • Haunted-Memory silver member
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome Poetry

    Valerie, This was Awesome romantic sensual and filled with want and desire a fantastic poem throughout. wishing you all the very best of luck in this contest Brian.


  • Tam
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I find this very romantic and sensual....if memory serves. LOL! It's been a while...
    This is a lovely write! Very gentle with such sweet imagery.
    I wish you good luck in the contest. Blessings! Tammy


  • Raazi
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was great......very subtle and gentle erotica, not like the hard core porn most write, and ruin the feel of the poem. It was soft, and well written.

1 - 12 of 12