A social scene,
People crowd all around
The girl so fragile,
Laying on the merciless ground.
Her guise removed the instant
They saw that slender figure
Crash down like a porcelain doll.
For no one new,
That this brokenness she has come to
Was the destiny she made for herself.
Long days with nothing but the
Calorie-less liquid that she lived on.
Food was not needed,
She thrived on the thought of beauty.
Perfect images flashed in her
Deranged mind, and like that,
Her wanting for damage-
Was lost.
Lying was all she had,
To keep her secret obsession
From others.
They would make her stop,she knew
Not to give in. Their eyes shared
With her what they truly felt,
Their feelings of wanting her
To be "average" size.
A heart beat weakened,
But the mind was stronger.
Pale, dry skin strives for
Every bit of beauty.
Bones protruded from stretched skin.
Tears from caring others,
Fell on her helpless body.
Kisses came to her brittle nails,
Like maybe it could bring her back.
Yet in the irony of it all,
This is just what she wanted-
To make a party stop for her,
All heads turned on the precious creature.
Everyone was blind,
She fooled each of them.
A tragic stop to life happened this night,
In the name of beauty and perfection
Was her demise.
Author notes
I did the one on eating disorders!!
Written September 29th, 2006
A contest entry
- i'll make you a [STAR♥] when you fall. by ohemeegeeay.
300 points, ended February 18, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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omg, this was so good!
i absolutely loved it.
"A social scene,
People crowd all around
The girl so fragile,
Laying on the merciless ground.
Her guise removed the instant
They saw that slender figure
Crash down like a porcelain doll."
amazing bbydoll. ♥ -
Food was not needed,
She thrived on the thought of beauty.
My fave part...
The imagery is amazing, like I can almost see the girl in the poem...
This is beautiful.
-
"Lying was all she had,
To keep her secret obsession
From others."
This is a profound poem. A lot of the ED poems anymore, as unspokenlove previously stated, are bland and cliche - I hate myself, I'm so fat. But this is different. This is real, and this is fantastic. Good job sweetie.
♥
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wow!
I loved this one.It really shows the raw emotions of what one suffers through.It is so sad to read about this.Beautifully done
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This is wonderful but so sad. The descriptions and imagery are wonderful as is the story you tell. I really like this. It's great and tragic.
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I like this. I twas good, really good imagery. I liked:
"Pale, dry skin
Bones protruded from stretched skin."
Thanks for entering, and good luck.
Noise&&Kisses
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i HATE poems about eating disorders, yet this one made me cry. it wasn't the same old i hate my body.. no one understands me. It shows what happens when you starve yourself.
The girl so fragile
A heart beat weakened
Pale, dry skin
Bones protruded from stretched skin.
brittle nails
A tragic stop to life
so true good write -
You aptly portrayed the life of a girl with an eating disorder...do you have experience. I especially like the part about everyone wanting her to be an "average size"...that is so annoying...Who wants to be just average? Anyways..keep up the good work!
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You described ana really well. Great job!
Just in one poem you described all the symptons/outcomes of having ana really well.
Keep it up!
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oh wow this is a good one! its raw pure emotion and truth, wow, the word choice the flow its all so remarkable!
Their feelings of wanting her
To be "average" size.
A heart beat weakened,
But the mind was stronger.
Pale, dry skin strives for
Every bit of beauty.
breathtakingly awesome.. thanks for entering!
Abused
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so sad... its bewtiful tho:
"Tears from caring others,
Fell on her helpless body.
Kisses came to her brittle nails,
Like maybe it could bring her back.
Yet in the irony of it all,
This is just what she wanted-" - stunning,
you're writing is raw but gorgous...<3
keep going sweetiex
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