I'm starting to think
you just can't quit.
It's all in the drink
but you don't give a shit.
It's hard to watch you
live your life in the dark.
Seeing you wash down day after day
with a chaser of Maker's Mark.
I thought when you left
you'd be done with the Jack
but you picked up another bottle
as soon as you got back.
Life comes in variety
Kamchatka, Grey Goose and Stoli...
The way you drink it up
vodka must be holy.
You can't remember yesterday
and you're starting to fall down.
Don't you think that's a sign
you don't need another Honey Brown.
When you are hurting others
by getting really mean
you know it's time to stop
pouring those shots of Beam.
Beer is not the answer
ale, lager, stout.
The result is all the same
in the end you just pass out.
Hiding doesn't work
and neither does pretending.
Admit you have a problem
you need a happy ending.
It's time to give it up
you need to get sober.
We're here for you now
and we'll be here when it's over.
Author notes
A great friend of mine is an alcoholic but cannot seem to stop. I wrote this for him and anyone else who needs it.
Written August 3rd, 2006
A contest entry
- Your Perspective on Addiction/Alcoholism/Homelessness by aslanlight.
600 points, ended February 13, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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amazing
very accurate and in a bitter way funny in the ironic sence,
alcoholism is a vile disease but the last two lines really struck me, i have this philosophy while i wish circumstances were different i will always be there mch like i feel you will be in the life of the ones we love whom are afflicted by this terrible disese
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THIS REALLY HIT HOME. VERY POWERFULL AND MOVING.
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This is wonderful I know this was written awhile back so I hope things have changed I dont know how you could keep this poem up beat but you did and gave hope to those still addicted
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Here for you
Yeah that's all you can do, no good pleading, preaching, crying, nothing will do it except the addict themself. Your answer to be there is spot on!
Thanx
Love, light & peace
Georgia
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Such a painful subject to write about, especially when it's so close to you. My faveourite line was:
"The way you drink it up
vodka must be holy."
This was well written and the fact you took time out to write it shows you care about your friend.. I hope he finds the strenght to quit and I also hope that he will realise what a good friend he has in you...
~Avalin~ -
Like the way you inserted the various liqours.
Hope your friend knows you care so much.
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A good poem, well written.
It is very hard to get an addict to quit, and my experiences make me very pessimistic about such people. I think they are self-destructive and need psychiatrists, but even that probably won't cure them. Do you know what percentage of them manage to recover? Of course we know that some people do manage to stay on the wagon, but they need very strong motivation which has to come from inside them. -
thank you for sharing this you wrote quite perfectly i thought i had a problem when i couldnt put the bottle down last year but im glad to say i did it with no help and only drink on occasions i hope this helps your friends like my friends helped me
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Fantastic
Your whole poem hits the nail right on the head. It's kind of like you were in my head when writing. I loved it. -
As is an old friend of mine whose lifting spirit was vodka, most of my family is as well, yet they really need to figure it out and even when they get on that wagon, they fall off several times, and usually round they holidays.
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Wonderful Peom
very nice, friends and family have that problem with uncle boozer. AA seems to work for some people. maybe an intervention. like on that TV show.. or just a new hobby. either way I wish the best.
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Awesome write....great flow and straight from the heart...I really enjoyed this!!
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Oh wow, this is really awesome, i could never write like that! The rhyming was really good and smooth and the message you put across was really nice.
'Hiding doesn't work
and neither does pretending.
Admit you have a problem
you need a happy ending'
Was a wicked stnza, it just summed up the rest of it really well. Good poem! -
AWESOME
I love it!!! Alcoholism is a problem in a lot of people's lives. I love how you made it all rhyme with the drinks' names. really awesome too. I like the message. great write! this is probably my favorite poem I have read on this site
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Brilliant
I think this is a wonderful little poem written to be understood. A powerful piece. I think like me a lot of people will be able to relate to your words just like I do. I get a wonderful feeling of hope from the last stanza. Well done and keep up the great work. Thank you for sharing -
Wow
This piece is great. The rhyme... the structure... the imagery. It is all there. At this point I can see anything to criticize. I am not an expert. LOL Keep them coming... good luck and blessed be. -
I think this is really touching.
it's expressing not only frustration and a little anger, but also an urging need for him to quit. It has the sentimental caring and love behind it rather than just: you're an idiot for drinking alcohol.
I liked this
and I'm going to be adding you to my favorites too.
i love your poetry and i'm really grateful for all your comments on my poems. -
You are a very very VERY talented poet, I cant believe that a poet of your skill would give such a comment on one of my poems! Thank you, This was amazing, I grew up in a family of alcoholics, and came pretty close to being one myself, thank Jehovah that I dried up before I washed out. I love the fact that you care about your friend so much, and this poem would be great to give to that person to force him to feel. That is exactly what this poem did to me, It forced me to feel the pain of watching someone you love drown in a bottle. Thank you so much for the comment and for sharing this great poem.
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RIGHT ON
Have i commented yet? Knowing this person myself, you did an amazing job turning hard truth in to a rythming lyric. The last stanza is the most important and I hope he never forgets....such a wonderful guy...I have faith that he can quit. Way to go niki
I love ya
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What a terrble disease alcoholism is. No different thatn being a drug addict as well. My sister is one, so hard to love someone that just seems to always say they can quit, go through rehab, after rehab's but never get a clue. Watching them is the most painful thing a person can do. I wish your friend luck! ~Sie
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good poem
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Strenghts: narrative that gets to a clear point, intervention, quatrain structure as a form always strengthens the message, for the most part consistent beat counts, visual and audible rhymes, a poem that had some rhythm, interesting stanza ties to a different alcohol.
Weakness: it wasn't fresh or intersting, lacked poetic devices such as metaphors, analogies, symbolism...
Thanks for sharing
Jim
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trully wonderful write...
we all hope this will hit home for alot of people...
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*shivers*
WOOOH im so glad i read grannyeri's poem to find yous too her poem was very good i was able to relate to it soooo well...& then i seen yours & read yours & just wow....i want to cry...it means so much to me....bc i can relate to it sooo well...wow...its sooo deep. my real father, my step dad, ME, my 1st love so many ppl in my life can relate to this poem...by been an acoholic them selves...& my soon to be gf...who is now dead bc of her alcoholic father....*tear* but ne hoot....alot of ppl can relate to this poem & u need to know this is one deep emotion in this piece & i hope u let yoru friend read this...& if u dont mind im gana hand it to my step dad to see...though hes not mean & hits hes still drinking. i already stopped, my real father did, my 1st love is outa my life & my step dad is the only one. & well my soon to be gf...well her & her dad are dead now. car accident bc the dad was drunk (just tares me up). wonderful PIECE u have...& really just be strong for your buddy & sometimes it takes 4 everyone to just walk away...4 them to sober there ass up...& realize....WOW im such a screw up.... like me with cutting...it took 4 me to lose a lover, alot of friends & cousines to realize "IM FUCKING UP!" & i just got so angry & did it more...but in the end i kept trying & ive made it...ive stopped 4 about a month now...(im so glad) but ne hoot soorry sooo long wish i cud applaud more than 3x bc liek man this wud be BURSTING! but..i cant so ill just applaud the biggest i can...
xox
ceci
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loving a shelled facade
a cheat, a lie, a dream
a figment of a scene
I have to let those fantasies go
and hope one day I'll get to see
the person I once wanted to be
...but it's your dime, not mine
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great write
I lost 4 years of my life caring for an alcoholic spouse. The disease is unyielding and impacts everything that the family does. I may have lost the years, but the lessons learned, albeit difficult, have made me a much more understanding person. As grannyeri comments, the enabler has to remove themselves from the equation. Care and compassion can still continue, but the alcoholic must be free to face their demons on their own terms and without excuses and assistance of the family members. The poem itself is very emotional and heartfelt. A wonderful piece. May you have the strength to save yourself first.
Rory
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I love this poem It hits home I know quite a few people that are alcoholics.
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POWERFUL!!
The message in this poem was delivered with much power. It is outstanding. I must commend you for this... what a wonderful thing to write for your friend. I know.. I have been there. My fater was sober for a long long time 12 years to be exact, and now he is drinking again. It hurts me... and my little sister a lot to know he drinks this way. He seems to not care about others when he is drunk... Though sometimes I get disgusted with the excuses. I cannot turn my back on him... I just want my father back. I am done with begging... thanks for the refreshment of this poem. It is good to know we are not alone. Now I see why Grannyeri was so inspired. Best wishes...
Mel
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Makes me Upset
This poem, Sober Up, upset me, as I have seen many families ruined because they cater to the family member that ruins all their lives. Love is not an exuse for enabling someone continue on through this viscious cycle of alcohol abuse. Intervention, confrontation and change need to be implemented, or let the alcoholic go. No need to wreck the spouse and children's lives too.
Thought the poem reflected well how one feels about someone they love and know who is an alcoholic. Liked the ending as there is hope in sight, "when it's over", saying they'll lick this disease and all will be better.
Enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme, flow and message in these lines. Even though the syllables are off in places, as in the poem I wrote in reply, the sentiments are well expressed, and easy to read and understand.
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The sad part is I really like this poem. It just doesnt fit the small box this contest was ment to fill. It focuses on the addict not his victims.
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shit yah
wish i could print this and give it to my ex...havent seen him in a year thou ^^ so hopefully hes moved on or has drunk himself into a grave for all i care. sweet little poem you got here...makes me feel sober..and thats werid cause i dont drink and smoke or any drugs..kinda straightedgge atm...and well its like im not at all all the time ....lol bf calls me "his lil trip" what a weirdo
keep it up.......
scrub those oysters clean!
mensch!
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shit yah
I can relate to this poem through alot too...like my 1st love...he was a total ass...4getting i was even alive...well im glad u have moved on & found better yeah? i know i have....& its always great to just be straight edge & never give into what kids say is "the shits" bc in the end it really isnt all cracked out to what they make is seem...i use to smoke weed & drink daily & smoke cigaretes at least 2-3 a day. wow was i stupid. haven t smoked a cig in about 2 weeks. & drank or smoked weed in about a month maybe a lil less or maybe a lil more. either way i feel great been sober i feel like i did way back as a kid (like im not hurting ne body, nto even my body) well keep it straight edge & help those in need.
xox
ceci -
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thanks
thats a wonderful comment
sorry it took so long to reply damn pc ERRG!! lol its old and dying 
but yeah im glad that you moved on as well to find better and to think that you stopped all that WOW..amazing. i did weed for awhile like a couple times over a time of three weeks and each time got sick..lol i was allergic 
funny eh?
thanks again
mensch!
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It takes a lot of courage to stand up and face our problems head on. I wish you love and luck in your endeavor ahead and offer you an unbiased ear if you ever need to chat. I can listen without being judgemental. I'm glad that you were able to take something positive from reading my poem.
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I have a really bad drinking problem.
This poem helped show me how my family feels about my drinking.
I'd like to thank you for that.
Verry well written poem -
Thank you... this is the nicest comment I've received from you. My thoughts are with your family member and with my guy in this poem. Some habits are hard to break...
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This is a great piece and very touching. i also struggle with addiction although not acahol but in the end it is all the same a vice to lean on. Thanx for sharing this and hope things get better
john -
THIS WAS AN AWESOME POEM beginning to end and great job with the rhyming and all those liqour names, this poem was a great message thanks for sahring it i hope someone thinks before they take a drink tonight after reading this....WRITE ON ROCK ON READ
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This is a little simplistic, but the message is clear and the conclusion is a good one, heartfelt, and even kind of powerful. Alcohol can be such a damn dangerous thing, huh? I am not going to mention names, but I have a family member whom I love tremendously who has had an on again, off again problem with booze for a very long time. I hope it doesn't destroy them. Again, this is a little simplistic, but the message, though oft-repeated, is a necessary one. - oce
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Very strong write. You covered the rationalization of the sober and the not. Those close can see it..those doing have no clue. Even when they do it lasts for only a minute for the addiction has control. It eases the pain of whatever it is that is hurting them. Till they are ready for help they will not heed the words of loved ones. God bless you and your friend. Be strong, offer encouragement, let him know you are there..but dont enable. Much love, Dawn
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Thank you so much! I appreciate the extra applause and the sentiment. I wish he would just get the hint. I showed this to him and he stopped for a minute and then told me that he thought I was really emerging as a poet. He said it like he was giving me a pat on the head... He just didn't get it. I hope he learns.
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Powerful
This has a wonderful message and it comes across stern... as it should! It is almost like your tossing someone in a cold shower and screaming "wake the hell up"... "life is passing you by" I could go on, but you get the message I recieved! Have known some with this disease... my biological father took his last breath as a result of it. I hope everyone who reads this feels a jolt. Good for you girl..... Another, powerful write... powerful. "applaud" "applaud".... they only let you give one on here... so there are two extra! ~Tia -
:)
Holy Shmoley!!
What a powerful message to...."someone"..
As you know from my Author's page, I am 3 yrs. sober....I felt this poem shoot right through me like a thorn from a rose....I applaud you for your courage to write this....and WELCOME TO AP!!...Woo Hoo!
This is going to be your new home away from home.....enjoy every second of it my new friend....And cherish every second with those kids..mine are almost 16 & 17...and I miss them already.....They will be out on their own before I know it...Then I'm going to be missing 'em like that 5 thousand dollars for Jacky's braces...that 2 thousand dollars for Johnny's Spring Break trip to FL...that...
Anyhoos...have fun while you're here....Enter as many contests as you can...and never get discouraged....Your AP friends are only a click away!
Sincerely....Arkbear....John~~
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Family hang in there, but need to know that they should not be enablers and allow things to go on as they have been. Going to Alanon or Alateen meetings help the family to cope. Great write expressing sentiments you feel about this subject. Friends can also help.
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This is most definately heartfelt. I know where you're coming from. My grandmother is an alcoholic, but from what I've heard, she hasn't been able to drink since... a month or two ago? I don't know if it's true or not. Anyways, this is definately a beautiful peace. Keep it up
Coconut
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who this is awsome keep up the good work!!
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