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Love X 1 / Love X 2

Love X 1


eyes dry and distant
skin tight and leathery
spirit is lonely

eyes gaze with intent
skin is covered in hot sweat
spirit claims release

eyes rolled up and closed
skin glowing radiantly
spirit is sated

eyes see just a man
skin is lathered and washed clean
spirit's still lonely



Love X 2

eyes clear and loving
skin relaxed and sensitive
spirits are playful


Author notes

I have stolen the format from a poet I admire greatly, Dalaney34 - multiple haiku's telling a story - in this case, two paralell stories.

<-------- coma toes
Written September 27th, 2006

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    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Dalaney gold member
    October 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Allan...The beauty of Haiku is that each piece IS different to each one who holds the words. I love seeing this side of you. I can do without the Ha Ha Ha's and do more with the man who writes like this
    Thank you.
    Love,
    Lane

  • PerVirtuous gold member
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Good Lord, Baby! Get your mind out of the gutter! Ha ha ha. No. This is two perspectives on sex. The first one, the environment changes and the spirit is always alone. In the second, the spirit is never alone and the environment is stable. Think about what that says. Thanks for commenting. Always glad to hear from you. I will write a poem about masturbation if you want me to!
    Edited on Sep 27, 6:22 p.m. because ''.

  • PerVirtuous gold member
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Then coming from one who knows first hand, it is very moving! Ha ha ha.
    Edited on Sep 27, 5:52 p.m. because ''.

  • PoetsAngel
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, you are BRILLIANT...but of course you know that, afterall you are the one who told me so BTW Love the 'coma toes'

  • babys-no-angel
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    is this about self pleasure??? or do i read it wrongly... again it is to each his own interpretation. i see many different senarios within most of your poems...is this deliberate???
1 - 5 of 5