"Hey, sweetheart! HEY, HEY!
Over here
Stop looking through me
I'm not part of that fantasy land
Wake the f--- up!"
*Throws bucket of water on her*
She gasps, shakes the water off her face
and looks at me with
condescending eyes
"We are not wired the same."
she says with conviction
I manage not to say
"That's because I don't waste my energy
in the phantom world
pretending I know what is what
and ignoring the moment at hand!"
But I can't help but giggle.
I point to us
who are dry and beautiful and happy
standing just outside the window
reciting poetry to each other
but she is not aware they exist
Instead, I implore her to open the North window
just a crack
so I can blow the stale alcohol and cigarette smells
out of the room
and the cool air may stun the body
and break the phantoms' hold
For ever-so-brief a moment
she shivers and looks out the window
I wave my arms frantically
do the moonwalk, sing "Dixie"
and think, "Open it! Open it! Open it!"
She does not see me.
She opens the window a crack.
I can't help myself,
I reach through and touch her belly
She closes the window
lights a cigarette
and pours a drink
beginning the ritualistic worship
of the phantoms
for another evening
I double over with laughter.
"I do so love to be ignored! Ha ha.
Brings out the best in me."
I crawl around on the ground,
looking for the perfect rock
I know will be there waiting
because it is not my story.
I am only a character.










14 old applause
