i am here now as this.

once i was a god among friends,

unbeaten and unburdened,

once i was better then most,

but only in they're eyes.

once i was what many wanted to be,

wanted to have and see,

but i gave it up, it is no more,

i am dead now, and so is each part of me.

this is where i change,

from a god to a mortal,

from the best to average,

from psycho under control to show it all.

i will let those things tat burdened me unseeingly out.

i will not let them who helped me be there.

i have ended the pain of trying and started the true pain,

the pain of acceptance and dying.

reborn, regrown, retaught, mended,

this is what lies ahead.

not a god, best of humans, and partly else,

but a mortal, with psychological problems and skills lost to time.

lost to time, not quite yet, partly.

lost to hope, given to failure, seen by mortals.

given no chance of retracing my steps, nor would i, i would rather die.

i wither, shrivel up and die. it is me now, dead.

i accept nothing. i give nothing.

i am loved and i love, but yet i am not there.

one chance, one love, one hope.

hope is gone, chance has been taken, and love has been given.

i stand alone on the end of a branch.

a dead branch, no leaves to shield from the elements.

i take my pain, i give my heart and soul, i kill myself.

i am not here, i am a ghost, but yet my body remains, with mental problems.

a shell of a psychotic messenger of the gods.

feet fast as any ever seen.

eyes and mind as sharp as diamonds sharpened to the finest point.

i kill it.  i become mortal. show mental problems. live as a human.

once upon a time, a long long time ago, there once was me.

i was foolish, but sharp as a blade, and as fast as light.

my words were once ageless, brought from feudal japan, and made in America.

in the end, i was what never before seen as a messenger of the past.

now i am here,

message gone,

job failed,

i sit. i die.

wreaking havoc once fun is now gone.

i sit i stare.

causing pain was one joy.

i sit i stare.

life is gone for me.

all that's left is one.

not my life but a life.

i steal it, in hopes it makes me happy.

nowadays i sit i stare.

nowadays i wait to grow my hair.

nowadays i have no life,

but in the future a beautiful little wife.

i have ended.

taken another life who's gone,

never to see earth again,

i take his place to be happy for him.