Rising From The River~
The hour is late,
just above the surface
I am drawn-
Already, I live below the river.
Pale is tonight’s moonlight
gracing meadows air.
Faint is the perfume
of wildflowers breathing.
Here again,
I await sober minded,
Motionless-
Thoughts of love,
slip through me
like liquid seeping
clinched fingers.
Once we were two lovers
on glades of grass.
We sipped wine
dancing together,
our bodies melted while
fires burned.
Unfolded secrets were
no matter to us.
Little did they scorch-
Slowly,
love slipped away.
In fade of night,
I see you more beautiful.
Yet I cannot touch you.
I thirst you-
Though quench of your kiss
eludes me.
This night once more,
I have seen you and became
empty-
Your existence
still thrives within me.
As the crow flies,
light peeks beyond
the horizon.
The river’s rise will surge
upon me.
Silently,
I will be drawn
by strength of it's pull
back into it.
Letting go
of one who is-
no longer belonging.
Writings of Malabu©2006
Author notes
Written September 25th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Simple Beauty by NSYancey.
300 points, ended May 17, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Golden Gallant - Pre-writes for Gold Brilliance by Namita.
300 points, ended August 4, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Deep Emotional Love (free form Only!) by misticmoonlite.
525 points, ended September 27, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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so beautiful,
Very lovely addition to our contest,you always pen so lovingly,lights dim,but yet so promising..thank you for entering our contest and good luck ...mm
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Simple yet beautifully penned. Good luck and thanxx for entering.
Luv,
Candy
Contest Holder
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Beautiful...simple...
As the crow flies,
light peeks beyond
the horizon.
I love that part
Congrats!! -
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Thank You Sweetie
I try to express emotion with simple words. I love this poem...I almost cant believe I wrote it...
Mal
-
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excellent~
Loved this my little sweet hunk
Felt as if I were drawn into this reading it..
Totally captivating and best of luck in the contest...
Will give ya a call soon
Love love love ya
Your sis
Susan~~~
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omg I love this
I feel so pulled into this write...Enchanting this is and a real sense of love...not ordinary hearts and flowers cliche' stuff..
and by the way, I know it's you Mally.....
I would recognize your love poems anywhere....
Breathtaking and made a tear fall...
Lynda
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Awesomely written! Thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of the contest! Wish you all the best!
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Let me guess. You loved and now you hurt.
-
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Please pull this one out of this contest - remove from contest - then go to the link I gave you above and enter it as a prewrite. Then I can award a trophy to you. I gave out two sets of trophies in this contest.
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Please move your poem to this link to pick up your trophy:
allpoetry.com/Contest/2266939
Really an impressive poem...thanks. -
i particularly love these lines, "our bodies melted while/ fires burned." they make me think of wax people melting because they are too close to a fire. ^__^
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Thanks Zayra......Ive always tried to write with emotion....simple words for all to feel....thank you for the inspiration......that is the gift you gave to me....
Hugs O lot
Malabu -
This poem expresses the love and the letting go, so that I had a moment to experience how bittersweet it is, and how inevitable too. I also appreciated the simplicity of the poem, meaning the author made it clear that they did not have to try too hard or overcompensate with a lot of unnecessary metaphor or innuendo. It is lovely and sad all at once. Thank you for sharing it with me.
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This is such a very beautiful poem that you have penned here! I am so glad that I clicked on it. I don't know what else to say except that this is amazing! (I would applaud it but I ran out of them, sorry.
)
Chelsea
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this reads well and flows smoothly. good write!
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IRONY!!!! AMAZING!!! cant stop reading it!
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Wow. What a beautiful and soul wrenching poem. I love it. My favorite lines were "Though quench of your kiss eludes me." We've all been there before. Wonderful use of emotion and flow.
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Very very beautiful!! I especially loved the lines
Faint is the perfume
of wildflowers breathing
Unique, creative combinations of words made this a joy to read! -
wonderful
Hi Mallabu, you did an excellent job with this poem, my favourite verse was seven. these lyrics are so powerfull and sensual. the love in this is so raw, pure and fresh. it also dipicts nature so beautifully "of wild flowers breathing. i applaud you for a job well done.
Dolores x -
Wonderful poem surrounded by beautiful pictures-flowing like a little river. I love the mood of this piece and the silence of it-really a very nice work
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The sentence that really made this poem, in my opinion is "Unfolded secrets were no matter to us."
This line says so much, yet simply written.
Thanks for sharing.
W.E -
Dear Mally, beautiful poem .. sentimental and sweet but not mushy. I loved this stanza as well as some quoted by others:
"Pale is tonight’s moonlight
gracing meadow's air.
Faint is the perfume
of wildflowers breathing."
This was such a lovely nature visual for me. I thought the ending was very cleverly done. All my best to you. ♥ Belle
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Bittersweet...I just wrote a song about fire and water a couple minutes ago, about burning and washing the old so new love can flow once more...
-Eddy
Tech:
S1L1 flows a little rough compared to the other lines, maybe can be shorted to this...while still retaining the original thoughts.
original...
"Already, I live below the river."
Proposed...
(Living below it, already) -
I haven't read your poetry or heard from you in awhile!!! I miss ya!
Anyway, now, to get on topic... This is a really good piece. I can especially relate to the stanza:
"In fade of night,
I see you more beautiful.
Yet I cannot touch you.
I thirst you-
Though quench of your kiss
eludes me."
It's a feeling I'm familiar with, as of late. This is a very touching poem, and I'm glad to see that your skill has done nothing but improved. I hope to see a lot more from you in the coming days.
~ Aly -
Hi Wanda.....how are ya girl.......thanks for stopping by......I fixed the boo boo....lol.......yes even my writings have changed....I still love writing in different forms though....Guess a little of you is rubbing off on me.....
........
for ya..
Mal -
"The hour is late,
just above the surface
I am drawn-
Already, I live below the river.
Pale is tonight’s moonlight
gracing meadows air.
Faint is the perfume
of wildflowers breathing."
I liked these lines especially, Albert. It seems your writing has changed considerably, as well. This is a pensive depiction of unrequited love...or at least, love separated by distant shores...I also liked the line "Unfolded secrets were no matter to us." It says much in its brevity. Good luck in the contest. Wanda
Edited on Sep 26, 10:51 p.m. because ''.
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