Its not fair to keep me questioning,
What was and could have been.
Its not fair you left so suddenly,
Why can’t I seem to win?
Now all we had is lost to sea,
When, no, it didn’t have to be.
Did I really mean nothing to you?
Surely, this cannot be true.
You owe me a question,
One I want to know.
Is why you left so soon,
Was it that easy to let go?
You swore and swore your feelings were true,
Then why now, I can’t see you?
Again.
Part of me wants you to return,
With a better mind,
And a lesson learned.
The other half is too drenched in pain,
That part of me will never be the same.
It wants you to suffer the same way I did.
Author notes
Written September 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
It's a great start
I think the force behind this is yet still untapped. There is a scratching at the surface when you write of the pain...the "drenched" is good mentioning the connection to the "flooding" of emotions..
I may suggest not trying to rhyme every other line (I have caught myself doing this too at times) and try to use the negative space (the empty stuff) to control the meter of the poem..its flow.
Overall it gets your message across.
It's nice.
:-)
Keep on going!
Adding your comment:
1 old applause
