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Questions (and beyond)

*If*


If I do this


There'll be a lot of blood


And if


If I do it right


The blood will be dark


Almost as dark


As here


The place where I am


(the place where I've always been)


Beyond the blood



*Where*


where I do this


Has to be right


(as right as any wrong can be)


So that the rest of me


(the best of me)


Ends up here


in this place


(the place where I've always been)


Beyond the blood


Where I want to be



*Why*


Why i do this


Falls into reasons


And canyons


Beyond my control


Beyond my path


Beyond the questions


(where I've always been)


Beyond the blood


Beyond me



*How*


How I do this


Has been preordained


Spoken


A thousand times


In a thousand words


Written in my inks blood


Beyond my blood


(where I've always been)


Beyond the pain?


(please?)



*What*


What I do now


Was meant to be


Was meant to be done


And is ok


Because in this place


Where I've always been


Finally beyond the blood


Finally beyond the pain


Finally behind the words


I lie


Waiting to be reborn


Waiting to answer the questions


i cannot now even articulate


but have felt


Have felt hard


And so i will fall


(hard?



*When*


Now?


Soon.


Author notes


Written September 25th, 2006

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Comments

  • The Monster
    January 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beck, this is well written. It seems broken, hastened, chopped, and it fits so well. I've missed you my lady-friend from across-the-pond. I hope all is well, even though from the sound of things you are considering your own mortality. Put off such thoughts for now and write something lighthearted, your poems had a way of making me smile.

    -Jake

  • maheo
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is brilliantly written if not extremely sad. I would hope that what you chose to do is write more great poetry