Is your brain getting you down? Does it think too much and wont leave you alone in peace? Or does it just sit there thinking of nothing interesting or the same old boring worries and cares day after day? Well here we have the latest fortieth century invention -THE SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHT HELMET! Yes! Forget the old Worrette machine mark 55087 processor, so very old hat -you need a new hat-a new miracle of modern state intervention- simply place the helmet upon a newly shaved head ,apply gel and electrodes and away you go.( Only in the minority of cases do the ears need to be removed) A slight googly cross eyes and lollipy- floppy-out-of-the-mouth-tongue effect may be noticed but these side effects should quickly be forgotten as one is led into the beautiful world of SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHTS plus the tongue may be regularly squirted with water from the free squeezy bottle supplied by us especially for those lolliping tongues plus order this week and receive a free sponge drool catcher.We think of everything so you dont have to! Just think no more stressful days or nights working in boring dead end jobs or worrying about paying the bills or having no-one to text or if the police will catch you just the pure beauty of a SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHT HELMET...pure escapism in a nutshell (quite literally in fact); just sit in a corner,apply SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHT HELMET and hey presto your day; week;life will be over before you even know it or have to give it one tiny bit of thought. The cure for all anxieties and hang ups.No more awful days ever again. Buy one for your family and friends once they tried it they will be hooked.Banned in over thirty three countries world-wide its sure to be in demand and the price will soon be rocketting . Get your SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHT HELMET now and block out that nasty little world in seconds
(Now available by popular demand the new STUPOR-DELUXE SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHT HELMET IN WIG FORM that other people cant tell you're wearing them and deliberately copping out from work and responsibilities:-gain sympathy, gain help(with washing ,dressing, toilet etc,) but more importantly gain time to wear your super new STUPOR-DELUXE SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHT HELMET IN WIG FORM)supplied with two free AA alkaline batteries at small extra cost.Author notes
NO fRoziN dipsticK On a MEATLOaf
Written September 24th, 2006
A contest entry
- Tempus Fugit by Long Road Home.
2007 points, ended May 29, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Oh, Lookie, the Helmet...again!
yayayayayayayayayayayayyyyy...
I want the Stupor Deluxeity and send as many as you can as soon as you can as my brain is in dire need of one at the least....
Oh, don't know if the money will arrive, but I shalst find a way, indeedyindeed...
LaLaLa
gooodyygoodyluckityinthecontestical, here, dear ms. PlinkdeSeagullityPonk!
winner, yup, just cuz, I said so, well..WAIT!
A.)It's not my contest
C.)I am Biased in favor of you always, so I suppose that wouldn't be fair, but what an Imagination you have and this was yet another JoydeSmiles for me....
Oh and
B.)
-
I want one, no I need one and I shall buy somehow one of both, the Super and the regular, I not only want them I NEED THEM as my head doesn't work at all these days and I know that these helmets, wigform or even helmet must help, sooo...please take my order and I will send mucho pennies wherever I must to get hold of this miraculous plonkingfineproduct!
-
merci bucketsflu i will put you down for ten then...thanks for the comment dahlink
-
I will certainly buy at least one, but not the STUPOR-DELUXE SEAGULL ON A CLOUD THOUGHT HELMET IN WIG FORM as my lolliping tongue will give away the fact that I am not working even if the drool bucket does keep my tie from staining.
-
dear first customer,
i have taken into consideration your views and i am now prepared to make you an incredible offer see above for details thanks for your order you may need a ready supply of tea towels for your shoulders -
oh i only did my head the other day it is very short, the helmet will fit a treat. i will take two please, one for me and one for the cat. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
-
Can I buy one with PayPal? My skull circumference is 19.7 but a much larger brain lurks within.
-
I want two - one for me one for my cat!
I could sit around all day looking at those rats with wings and thinking what a great world we live in. If you could send one to Blair he could actually be more useful to the world's safety than what he is at present. And a free gift to George W, but if you could program it so that the birds shat on him, that would make many people very happy. Having read this, it must only be a matter of time before you are shortlisted for the Nobel Prize.
David -
This sounds so romantic. Where can I get one. DOES IT RUN ON ELECTR oops damn capslock BASH BASH! Mayor HATES ffarging CAPSLOCK! Now as I was saying or asking or just generally slavvering on the page, does it run on electricity or does it have a perfectly independent nuclear power source? I'd just be concerned that wearing the cloud of seagull would only be temporarily effective until the utility bills go unpaid and the electrical service gets shut off, so doesn't it make sense then that it have some kind of onboard miniaturised fission reactor or other long-term device capable of generating the necessary power for the gulls to shit on even when the wearer is ostricized by friends and neighbors and especially the utility companies?
SINCERELY,
YOUR F- AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! BASH!BASH!BASH!BASH!
your first customer
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
