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absence of color


poetry -

the most beautiful form of anger;

rage condensed, congealed, into consonants;

hate melted down into liquid vowels;

every injustice recorded,

every injury dutifully noted,

every insult - ingested and spit. back. out.


spit in my face.

I came here to support

you

I came here to try to understand

this rage, your anger

my hate?

you say "my people" and speak of pain

you say "they" and describe them the same way

I describe myself

my people.

your anger is focused, directed, aimed for the target

that you've painted on my forehead

since my white skin

gives you a perfect. blank. slate.


I envy you your pride.

I envy your ability to take your history

stand up for your people.

look back on the past without shame

can you?

can any of us say we are without guilt?

you can look me in my blue eyes

and call me a racist elitist, a selfish American

and I will even believe you,

but what do you gain for your people

by making me share your hate for mine?


punish me with your piercing pride your

pitiful eyes that

you say I say look different, that

I say look beautiful


yes, there is hate in this world

people killing people like those people aren't people

because those people aren't these people

aren't my people

but people

how is this hate helping?

you're preaching to the choir

but then

why make them atone for the sins of the congregation?


tell me your story

pour out your anger in poetry

let me, for a moment, feel your history

but do not tell me

I stared in the blockbuster film

they made of your life


as the antagonist. 

Author notes

I went to hear a couple spoken word groups that were really focused on race and racial issues. This is my response to them.
Written September 24th, 2006

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Dubbs
    January 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice, i see you haven't missed a beat, what've you been up to (this is my new profile, trying to get back into it)


  • ArrowToAshes
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    yay!

    re: punctuation, I've never really paid attention to it in your poetry, or read much slam, so I don't know the accepted usages, I just sort of made stuff up so that I would know what I meant when I read it. =P Glad I was close some of the time though.

    I read it to my friend that went to the thing with me, and she really liked it too. I'm kinda proud of myself to tell the truth. I think I'll leave it for a bit and then come back and edit in a few weeks, but yeah, I don't know if I could write more... I'll have to think about it.

    Thanks for the critique!


  • chat noir
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this might be my favorite piece of yours. looks like you paid attention during the performance, eh? i'd love to hear you read this. but since you're kinda "in my turf" as far as poetry goes, i'll tell you to be careful of punctuation, as it will tell the reader how to read it.

    ex: this part was done -perfectly-
    every injury dutifully noted,
    every insult - ingested and spit. back. out.

    you definatly got that entire first stanza absolutly perfect. the rest was also really awesome (haha im biased towards slam, what do you expect?) but the first stanza was really the crowning bit.


    so is it any good? most definatly -- i'd like to see more of this from you cause you rocked it.