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Manipulation

Explanations


To tell you why I am me


Sorry I'm tired...it must be my kidney


What... You don't know my past


Or when I was sick last


Years of hospitalization, mental trauma


And dehydration


But I am well now... Can't you tell


The energy I used to have


And you try to make me feel bad


I've succeeded my life


And I've passed my worst


Just stupid of me to put everyone else first


I held no-one through my shame


And still I live through my pain


Words screwed inside my head


And no more tears for me to shed


No-one can hurt me anymore


So give me your best...then walk out my door


It's a deadly game with me


The more you manipulate, you set my heart free


Take a bow, walk straight ahead


Tonight alone, I'll sleep in bed


I am not a fool, I don't live by a rule


Just exploring the realistic views on life


And hoping one day...I will be a good wife


I have searched a heart that's whole


Unconditional love with no control


Easygoing and down to earth


I gave up my own worth

 

Humorous behaviour I seek to make me laugh


Why isn't that enough


Why can't you see me, the way that I just want to be

 

Open to behaviour


Of each and every soul


But still heading towards my own goal


My spirit is loving, when love is the heart


But if love is hypocrisy or sarcasm


Then we're on the wrong path


My life had been tested, too many times to explain


And I don't need you to tell me that I'm to blame


Let me be now


My heart to restore


Your words I choose to ignore


Your behaviour has dented my brain


And I'm left feeling inane


I'm tired


Too tired to explain

Author notes

Written September 24th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments


  • WolfHeart
    December 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Touching

    You and I share a lot. I am disabled from DV, and people always treat me like a china doll. But my view is - hey, I survived and stayed away. I rebuilt my life - no one can possibly do worse to me than has already been done.
    I draw stength from your words. I am a member of this group but haven't been active.
    Merry Christmas!!

    Wolfie


  • Northern Raven
    July 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The open expression of being manipulated which is so evident in this poem is a concept that I think many readers will relate to and I think the author has created a work that is very realistic and depicts many different scenes. Unfortunately it is sometimes easy to become manipulated by others particularly through loving someone and it take can often take some time for realisation to sink in fully and acknowledge it and have the guts and determination to do something about the situation. I think the author demonstrates quite clearly the strength needed to come through it.

    I think the elements of illness at the start of the poem show how someone who is already feeling weakened can easily become the target of manipulation but I’m not saying that is the reason it happened. There is also an element of ignorance on behalf of the manipulator shown in the line “But I am well now... Can't you tell” as I feel it shows just how little notice is taken of the person being manipulated, they simply can’t or don’t want to see. The line “Just stupid of me to put everyone else first” also indicates to me that the person has a caring nature and often those that care can also become victims because others see it as an opportunity to abuse through selfishness. What I like about this poem is the sheer determination that I can feel coming out of it though I also feel plenty of anger in it too. “The more you manipulate, you set my heart free / Take a bow, walk straight ahead / Tonight alone, I'll sleep in bed” are just three of the lines that allowed me to feel that emotion.

    This poem may or may not have been written from the authors personal experience but I think many readers will find a realistic truth in it if they apply it to possible situations they have been in so the content is inclusive of the reader in my opinion. The poem has a smooth flow and the emotions in the piece aren’t laboured by manipulating language.

    Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.

    Northern Raven


  • freebutsafe
    September 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It's not about being sick...it's about words of weakness from the mouths of men! When they think that you can't stand alone, and try every which way possible, to bring you down! That was just a point of getting across that if i survived my health issues by myself, then i can definately survive on my own without their words of manipulation! Tonight alone i will sleep in bed!!!


  • intanglio2ring
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear freesoul40,
    Health conditions do make it very difficult! I've had some spurts there myself - and luckily my heart keeps on ticking!
    Thanks for your entry into my contest & Good Luck!
    Tang