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Dragonfly

She breathes fire,

 her only beautiful desire.


Her wings are so great,

 she carves with her teeth man's fate.


Never is she alone,

 when the men of gold are bold.


Dreaming of a lake,

 where she will meet her mate.


No, the dragon-king is late,

 always she must wait.


Maybe I will fly,

 and meet the dragon in my eye.

Author notes


Written September 23rd, 2006

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • Revwilliamfoos
    October 2, 2006
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    you should just see when i am trying to photograph a dragon fly or damsil fly they just get in an area that is slightly out of reach then when i do not have my camers they tend to be right in my face then you hear me yelling at them great write keep doing well
    love the papa

  • Miss Yorik
    October 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Haha, this is so imaginative and original! Wonderful write. I love the ending and then this too:

    "she carves with her teeth man's fate"

    Deep stuff, but expressed with such vivid language and form that it comes alive, like a dragonfly. Thanks for sharing.

    Melanie


  • Wee Beastie
    October 2, 2006
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    two paws up

    ohh beutiful metapors and imagary its just so beutiful and everything i seem to try to see this lake of yours

    ~~Chef W.B


  • ashleyheartsyou
    October 2, 2006
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    nice metaphor, but needs a little work on the rhyming... overall really great job though!


  • xlovesconsx
    October 2, 2006
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    intensely intriging use of words

  • PalmettoSky
    October 2, 2006
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    great poem. i loved the simple approach of it. keep on truckin'! thanks for sharing. awesome work. peace always.

  • Cinnarry gold member
    October 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It also left me wanting a LOT more. Simplicity is great when it WORKS! Your intentions were on the right track, but, I think you need to flesh it out more and maybe not even trying to make it rhyme. Its a good start though. Thanks for sharing.


  • September 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i really liked it. i love fantasy anyway. keep up the good work.


  • Frodofan silver member
    September 26, 2006
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    Feels a little empty. Has me longing for more description and the rhyming is pretty weak in places, and line four feels inverted and forced. I'd love to see this worked on and probably lengthened too.


  • white stone
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love dragons, as you also seem to. Sad dragon waitingg for love, I like to hear of the softer side of the species. One of my favorite series of books is "The Dragonlance Chronicles" By Margaret Weiss and Tracey Hickman. good stuff there, and not bad here either. Thx

  • straighttalker gold member
    September 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Good job!

    Simple it seems, but I get lost in your dreams...well, Aliuar, you always make me think, with your imagery. Keep up the good work!

1 - 11 of 11