Sometimes you want to cry,
when nothing seems alright.
Sometimes you want to die,
when there is no place to hide.
The tears keep on coming,
and the lies keep on slipping.
The years get harder,
and you've become weaker.
You feel like you're all alone,
in an empty zone.
You feel like you're losing friends,
and that the world is going to end.
You give your heart away,
to someone who will never give it back.
You heart is broken,
and there is no cure.
You lost yourself,
You can't carry on anymore.
You feel like no one cares,
or anyone is there.
You wish you could breakaway,
From this place and this pain.
You feel like you're fighting to live,
You just want to find happiness
Author notes
Written September 23rd, 2006
A contest entry
- SOMETIMES: A word to use for this poem. by Angel Full Of Hurt.
666 points, ended October 28, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
truthful
thank your for describing my feelings
you just made my day -
Well done
A very well penned piece good luck
-
Damn.
That's good.
Good luck in the contest!!!
I hope you win!!
x♥BD9♥x -
wow fabulous piece
wow thanks for increasing the size of the fonts now..now i can see the beauty of the write....wonderful, wow and thanks for rating my comment...anyway, LOVELY WRITE!
Sometimes you want to die,
when there is no place to hide.
The tears keep on coming,
and the lies keep on slipping.
The years get harder,
and you've become weaker.
You feel like you're all alone,
in an empty zone.
this part is very pretty!
(Depressing but I enjoyed it) -
increase
a word of advice: increase the size of your fonts please because they pain my eyes...anyway, i have a hunch this poem is good, just let me see it clearer..thank you.
-
well it is well written ,and if this poem is recent maybe you need to rest or go witha psychologist Ive went to one and i havent live that kind of situation ,so good luck and keep writing
-
I can hardly read this , the letters are soo small, my eyes burn just from trying to read this. please return the favor
-
Sometimes.... I feel like this. Awesome write, jeez you are amazing!
"You feel like no one cares,
or anyone is there"
"You feel like you're losing friends,
and that the world is going to end"
Amazing!! I can totally relate.
-
i have to say i disagree with the previous comment, i liked the line 'in an empty zone'. i understand it and it describes perfectly how it feels, its like your alone in an empty bubble and you just want to break free.
kirst -
this was good...but yeah for you, i'm giving you my first actual critiquing with things to change...I like the message, but I would change the lines
*You feel like you're all alone
In an empty zone"
Just something with "In an empty zone" because it kinda throws the reader off from the rhythm of the poem and consequently distracts them from the meaning.
<333 jess -
great write! good flow throughout! sad :-( thankfully there are other times of happiness and bliss..but to be able to appreciate those you gotta see those bad times through first! keep up the good work!
~failing~
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
