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Look at me, my brother

Look at me, my brother
I am a pretty sparrow
My wings are widely open
and I’m flying like an arrow

I’m soaring, up in the sky
I can touch the sun
Fly with me my brother
for this is really fun

You could be an eagle
with feathers on your back
I could help you find a mouse
and we could both attack

Or you could be a robin
in a meadow by the creek
We could sing our bird songs
and know just what we speak

I truly love this swing set
it takes me to another place
I always want you by my side
as we fly through time and space


Author notes

Written September 23rd, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • ShelleyA gold member
    April 5, 2007

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    Hoodwinked

    Good title. A beautiful heartfelt write and presentation. Imaginative. Lovely interpretation of this picture, suits it very well. Very good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice. Nice simile. Good alliteration and nice assonance. Well crafted and a most enjoyable read. Congratulations on winning Silver. Well deserved.

    You have just been hoodwinked by a member of The Poetic Bandits.


    • FifthDove
      April 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Woohoo, I’ve been “Hood-winked” lol
      you’ve “made my day”!!!
      Thank you so very much Dove*


      • ShelleyA gold member
        April 5, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        You're very welcome Dove. My pleasure. I truly enjoyed this piece. Take care.


  • FifthDove
    September 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I thank you very much


  • Legend silver member
    September 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulation Dove on a wonderful poem and a richly deserved silver.great rhyme and flow to this one Excellent


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats for winning silver in this contest.


  • FifthDove
    September 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the comment Lori


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Such a variety of interpretations of this picture - makes such great reading. Interesting interpretation.


  • -Ink Artist-
    September 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A lovely interpretation of this image! Such a simple structure yet imaginative, like the minds of children. Ah, to be young and carefree again. The background looks marvelous with this picture also. Very visually stimulating. Wonderful job on this piece. It's lovely. Thanks for your entry and good luck!

    ~Lori~


  • Mary O gold member
    September 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Such a dear and loving write. Speaks right from a child's heart.
    Very touching. Well done. good luck to you in the contest.


  • broad-and-fair
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I have read a few from this contest and I have to say I like how you added the brother in there, most ppl just wrote about the little girl and it was sweet that you included the little guy next to her..very sweet--fair


  • Your Hine Us
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a sweet poem of child hood, wow it has been so many years ago since I have even gotten on a swing, I feel the need to go to the park today.best of luck in this contest

  • Legend silver member
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You have sat inside this child mind so wonderfully well All that she see is possible when one is such an age.A pleasure to read Good luck in the contest


  • capricornpoet
    September 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    on a swing long ago I flew

    Truly dreamy,full of love, and children do have this wonderful imagination ; reminisce of when I was a little boy on a swing,
    we really did feel like flying then..
    Soothing to my soul this poem ..

  • cookylee
    September 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is sweet,


  • Huntress silver member
    September 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like such a perfect way to spend an afternoon

1 - 16 of 16