Mother, Mother sings to me.
Her needy voice
it rings in me.
I know she knows
her ruby rose
has lethal thorns
she stings in me.
Those hands that bind
the willful flee
will taste the rind
disgustingly
but should my core
beat evermore
then curse these strings
from binding me!
Teachers, Teachers lie to me,
tell my heart
to hide from me
with words once spoke
now lost and broke
in chapters strewn
illogically.
My pages turn
the more I learn,
and stories soak
illegibly.
Believe them not
when in between
you sense the rot
of history.
So Father, Father come to me,
take my life
away from me!
Wake me, wake me
show me light,
save me from
my dreams tonight!
Steal my hopes.
Don't give them back.
When darkness comes
it will attack
and mother, teacher
others too
shall lie asleep
accordingly.
Author notes
hmmm
Written September 21st, 2006
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A tale of love unrequited
I see that in the opaque corners of your heart lies a creative means of possibly ventilating frustrations through applaudable euphemisms that seem overt, yet not. the metre was quite well done and the theme well proportioned. I was a bit confounded by the lack of connecting rhyme to the final word but am sure you have a validating reason. Wonderful and perturbing little piece of work this is. Keep it up my friend. -
the fave game:
the first stanza, i can only imagine who this is about
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Affirmation of the world we live in!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
The rhyming in this is wonderful. Iget a feeling of sadness as I read until I get to the third stanza and it's like a huge sigh of relief...others can do some pretty good damage and bring us down, but that's just satan comin in and trying to tempt us. Very interesting write indeed. Human nature can be pretty frightening at times. Great job on this piece.
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great rhyming. and the feelings flow in it very strongly.
Great write!!!
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I would write a longer comment, but I can't find the words. It's gorgeous, beautiful, marvellous, emotional.. It made me cry, damn you.
Sorry. :| It's perfect
<3 Tissue -
I love the flow and rhyme of this . Very well done!
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Bravo!
WOW!!! very nice...beautifully written...covered all the elements of poetry which i think are essential for good poetry...wonderful...keep writing...love, shuvi -
You're certainly an intriguing person, albeit a rather disturbed one, it seems. I hope this isn't one of those proverbial cries for help?
Anyway, good job, particularly on the meter and rhyme, even if the premise leaves me wondering.
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Definately anger ridden and it made me sad that others behaviour can bring us down.We trust and look to others and sometimes feel only their rejection or negativity bleed through.A good poem that expresses human nature.
~Helen -
damnit, I always do that when I spell rhythm. I MEANT RHYTHM. what matters is your deeds.
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Rhythum is fantastic in this one...almost orgasmic. Ha ha.
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Great as usual
Stunning Rhyme -
A great use of your themes- mothers, teachers, etc. The rhythm is exact as always. Love it.
with words once spoke
now lost and broke
in chapters strewn
illogically.
My pages turn
the more I learn,
and stories soak
illegibly.
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