What right do I have
To be so healthy
When all around me
My family is getting sick,
Hospitalized, surgeries,
Amputations, broken bones?
How is it fair
That I am in college,
Taking money from my parents
Who can't even afford groceries
Neglect their own health
To buy my school books,
Do without to help me?
I shouldn't feel guilty
For going to school,
Asking for a doctor
After six years without an exam,
But god help me I do.
Why should I be numb now,
Unable to be shocked, scared,
When another family member
Goes into the hospital?
I shouldn't be used to
Pain and sorrow.
I shouldn't have to bite my tongue
When I get that pain in my chest
That never goes away.
I shouldn't have to watch
As my dad gets old
And my mom spends money we don't have.
I shouldn't be 19.
I should be dead.
Author notes
Ugh, I'm just so sick of everything. And yet, I have to endure and go on. Because I'm the strong one. Yeah right.
Written September 21st, 2006
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Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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whoa
gives me some real perspective on how my teenagers are feeling.....hugs you...well done honi.... -
ace
my interpretation of your poem is that
you'll get there...because only those who fail
2 see shall be blinded with the sight of reality,and the last sentece... being dead means starting 0ver.... -
Hey, hon. I loved the powerful emotion behind this poem, but I'm worried for you. Your having survivors' guilt, and suggesting that you don't deserve an education or a life. I don't want to impose or make assumtions, but I have a feeling your education is something of great value to your family and they want you to have it. I"m sorry if I've said to much, I love the poem, the emotion, and I hope your folks pull through this. Give them this for me:
-
Well, then. That's uplifting. :-( Um, sorry that things aren't going so well for the ones you know. You're still alive though to be there for them. Don't suggest you should be dead... spend the time in the hospital with them.
And as for the college thing... once you have a good job, you have every chance to pay your parents back.
Interesting write. The last two lines were very powerful. -
Hey, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, I'm not sure what to say except that I hope you feel better because...everything can get too much to take sometimes...and when you feel like you have to be strong, you keep going on and try to keep as much of it inside as you can and just deal with it on your own and that makes it worst. I'm not sure if that made any sense, but... This was really good, and I hope everything's okay soon
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