Today is our first visit to the GYN fable,
Now we’ll need to go every year.
They have us lie on the paper covered table,
And say we have nothing to fear.
They give us a top open in the back,
And a paper towel to small for our lap.
Then out comes jaws ready to attack,
And they tell us it’ll be over in a snap.
Brushing, scraping, and poking a bit,
Almost done except for the internal.
Now after all this they will finally quit,
But when we get home we’ll skip the journal.
Author notes
Just remember to relax...it won't take long..
Written September 20th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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boy, talk about telling it like it is. I shudder to read this. It is the worst part of any exam. You have put it down well.
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Thanks doris for your kind words. I work for an OB/GYN so I see this every day. Mr boss says next to dentist he is the one they hate coming to the most.
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Great Job!
I hat going to the GYN, still, to this day. I get white knuckled while they do the internal and "when I get home, I skip the journal". Good job on a real terrible, but necessary experience every young lady must face. It's just that I'm 48 and I'm still facing that awful spactula (I believe it's called). -
It's true I forgot to mention how cold jaws can be. We have them heated in one room. And the goo is to make things easier on you. Imagine no lubrication.
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thats just awful..i having many years of flashbacks now (Twitch, Twitch) LOL sometimes it sucks being a woman. but you forgot to talk about how cold the things are and how much gooo they use and how the doctor never calls you in the morning or buys you dinner first..lmao
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LOL...I'm over 50 myself, but I still hate 'em and if I should meet up with those gastro-people, THEM TOO!!!
take care Free!
Jo -
I'm over 50 Jo, so they don't bother me anymore. It is the gastroenterologists I hate.
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Thanks Tirrell. Now you know the embarressment and feeling of akwardness we wemon feel year after year.
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Such an adorable comment Iohagh. It does not seem to be that bad for me. I guess it is like going to the dentist. It's better to go and keep it working than having to go when it's hurting.
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Thanks for your great comment. The funniest thing about this poem is I work in an OB/GYN office. My doctor has Mobiles from Columbia hanging on the ceiling.
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oh gosh, the dread of those ob-gyn appointments! I love the humor of this poem, and perhaps you can consider it your afterwards journal entry for each upcoming ob-gyn visits!!!
Jo -
nice job
Very intresting, I did not think I every really wanted to know, now I know I never wwant to know lol.
This was a very descriptive, vivid image. well done.
Robert -
Darling fs51
Many years ago we
girls avoided doctors' looks
as many died horribly
from diseases that took.
Today, you lie down
as you do cry
mumbling, raising your gown
not wanting to die.
Smoosh
Janet -
this was humorous because it is so true. it is
how it is except you should have put those
seemingly mandatory ceiling tiles with holes that
we end up counting trying to pass time. good job
with this one. -
Thanks Pisces for your great comment. I aam so glad it put a smile on your face. I achieved my purpose.
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Thanks Daviscth. I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the luck.
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I know what you mean Mspoetpixy. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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lol, excellent recap of the fun visits to the GYN, what fond memories...not. This is very cute in it's expressive and capturing way...I am glad I read it, made me smile.
Thank you for sharing an uncommon topic that most women can really relate to! -
I enjoyed this poem very much. Best of luck in the contest, Cathy
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Funny indeed, though at first we must all admit it was a bit skeptical and frightening. Don't you just hate it when your tryin to get on the table an the paper just doesnt wanna work wiht your rump...And of course your tryin to act natural in the most unnatural of places...It's like visiting the side of your family you only see like once every thanksgiving an your mother makes you wear that awful red sweater your aunt made you like 5 years ago an the only time you wear it is to that stupid dinner.
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Thanks Lady for the cute comment. I see lots of LOUD socks because I work in an OB/GYN office. But it is a necessary evil I must say.
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i have a vast collection of extremely loud socks. when it's time for this particular exam i buy a new pair, the very loudest, most outlandish pair i can find. since it's the only clothing i can keep on it rather cracks me up. i just thought i'd share how i get through my exam
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Thanks momiloco I am so glad you enjoyed it. I hope it made you smile a little bit.
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truly reality
never a truer write. great. why do they always say this won't hurt a bit? bullshit lol -
Thanks Rabe I am so glad you enjoyed it. If it put a smile on your face and in your heart than I was successful. I am tired of agnst, sad, erotica, dark write lately. And I don't read the last two.
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Thanks, I forgot the word get. You were right
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Glad you liked my comment,of course you must keep the last line just how you wish,the poem is your creativity,it was just a suggestion not a criticism,if you prefer"when we home" that's fine.
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Tooo Much!!!
Ahhhh...yes. One of the less pleasant rites of passage
One day, I met my cousin at work. She said we would have to cancel our lunch date...a lot of things had come up. It was just one of those crazy days. I offered to bring her back a sandwich and she thanked me helping her with a working lunch. I asked if it was really that bad, and she said..."Actually, I'd rather be having a pap smear right now." No more words were needed.
Your poem is sassy and funny, and the picture is tasteful enough not to be crude, but still get the point acress.
Best wishes in the comp! -
Thanks Yvette for your great comment. I see this everyday , I work for a OB?GYN office. As for the word "go" it was not omited. I think you need to read it again. It is right.
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Thanks soulfultia. The last line was done that way for a purpose. Most young girls keep a journal and this kind of thing I don't think I would put in it if I had one. Would You?
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Funny
Brushing, scraping, and poking a bit,
Almost done except for the internal.
Now after all this they will finally quit,
But when we home we’ll skip the journal.
This was a funny write and so it should be! This is a dreaded visit to the ob doc every year and I have been going for.... nearly 30 years... just so violating isn't it! But unfortunately so necessary! This last line in the stanza above seems incomplete... purpose... or not?
Thanks for sharing your amusing piece and good luck in the contest! ~Tia -
This has to be one of the most surprizing piece of poetry that I have read.Certainly you imbued it with imagery and realism and the complete lack of dignity the woman feels during these examinations.Reminded me of the equally embarrassing procedure of having ankles in stirrups and being sutured after childbirth.Think you may have omitted the word"go" in the last line?Good luck in the contest
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Thanks coefor your great comment. What is really funny is I work for a OB?GYN office..
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Wow, well that was certainly entertaining... and it sounds so horrible
, now I understand why my ex hated going. That sounds like alot of unnecessary anguish.
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