Unreality

I look out slowly
through dull
hazy eyes
that are
(so.tired.)

Everything...
is a blur
a distant haze
like a photograph
where the person moved
just as the shutter
(clicked)

Cloudy...
foggy...
vague shadows
mere outlines
rather than the solid forms
that should be there...

(everything.is.so.strange.)

Sluggish, frozen mind
commands my body
to move
to wake itself
from its slumber
of motion

(but.it.is.so.slow)

And a thought
comes over me
that I am
not here
not here at all
all of this
is one long
exhausting
dream

(none.of.this.is.real.)

I am not here...
not in mind...
not in body...
this is all
a thought
in my head...

(everything.is.so.unreal.)

I begin to realize
my heart is not beating
I cannot hear it
cannot feel it..

(you are real)

No...
this is a dream...

(You are real)

I can't make myself
believe
in anything

(touch your chest...
feel how your heart
it beats
it pumps
the blood
that makes you
real)

shaking hands
gingerly touch
my chest
I feel... warmth
a dull
rhythm
beneath my fingers...
but it brings me
no comfort
and no convincing...

(If I touch
anything
my hand
will hit
nothing  but
air.)

My fingers
are stretching out
extending
then curling back
into loose fists
but I am not
controlling them.

(these.hands.are.not.mine.)

Alien beings
attached to my wrists
they are not
real...

(everything.is.fading.)

I reach out
and touch
the girl beside me
the one I know
in my mind
is supposed to be
my friend
and when
my alien hands
that are not mine
make contact
I am astonished
distantly
that she is
so... there

(she.feels.real.)

But
even as I
squeeze her shoulder
...tight...
I know
still
that none of
... this...
is happening
....

(everything.is.so.unreal.)

....