After fifty years of having cramps every month,
Having mood swings known affectionately as PMS.
We women have finally reached a landmark,
Something known as MENOPAUSE.
To finally not have “Our friend”.
Who ever came up with that phrase?
Here is what MENOPAUSE means.
M-mood swings that never seem to end.
E-emotions that range from suicide to homicide.
N-natures evil joke on women, and revenge on men.
O-outrageous fits that make you want to scream, and pull out your hair.
P-patience totally non existent, and screaming at everybody.
A-always hot flashing, even when it’s snowing.
U-unable to function at a normal level.
S-sweating while your sleeping, you sometimes think you wet the bed.
E-everything bothers you, even the smallest thing.
And to think we prayed for this time in our lives to come.
Now we wait for it to end,
Maybe if we are lucky it will only take ten years.
Maybe fifteen...Thanks Mother Nature.
Author notes
I feel it is a humorous poem that is a fact of life and we all need to laugh at ourselves once in a while. Life is to short to be serious all the time. Option #4
Written September 19th, 2006
freespirit51
In a list
A contest entry
- give me some freaking humor---PLEASE by Viyanna Rosemarie.
650 points, ended September 25, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Great! Looking forward to it.
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This is one for the record books hahhaa if we're lucky, indeed...thanks for your entry lol
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This is priceless1
You've hit the nail on the head with this one
I wish you the best of luck in this contest. 
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YoursTrulyJulie
Thanks so much I am glad you enjoyed it...
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this is exactly my problem so i really appreciate this write from you. i would like to thank you for your entry into this contest of mine to bring some humor into my life. i want to wish you well in t his contest and to tell you that i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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I am glad it made you laugh and made you feel better. I am going through it as well, so it was written from life experience...lol...thanks for the gold.
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I like this, lol...I was just saying the other day I couldn't wait for menopause, but maybe I can wait
Good luck!
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Thanks for your great comment, I am glad you liked it. Can you tell me why it was DQ'd. I thought I followed all the rules.
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haha... This is so true... Describes my Gran very well... It's as you say both funny and yet true... I suppose the word is ironic, or to mother nature/god/ whoever came up with the idea the cruelest joke since putting a plastic covering over a toilet...
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LOL
I love this! Oh sooooo true. You made me laugh out loud.
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Hahaha thats very funny i think its worth an applause Good luck on this contest I really like how you say joke on women and revenge on men!! i know cause my mom gets crazy mad at me
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So true, very very true. Keep up the killer work, take care, and keep on writing! Good luck in my contest and thank you for entering!
~Princess of Shadows~ -
Thanks for your great comment and I am glad you enjoyed it.
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LOL
A very funny poem about the menopause. Why do we women have to suffer so badly? (I guess because men couldn't cope with our hormones
) Thanks for your entry to my contest 
All the best
Pozo
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Thanks. I knew it would make you laugh. And yes it's true, this is the real thing. See what mother nature has instore for you.
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LMAO!!!! That's so funny and sad..i pray that this is not what life is like for you right now or ever. I feel bad now that i don't have my "Friend" but i know when it's my time for menopause i will pay for this freedom badly. LOL
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Thanks so much Enchanted Butterfly for your encouraging comment. I thought a bit of humour is what we need more of. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves.
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Yes, thanks for adding the rose!
I really did think this was a nice bit of humor, and something anyone can use when going through this tough time. I haven't been through it myself, but my mother is right now, and I know it's not fun. Thanks for your entry!!!! -
Thanks perfectImperfection I am gald you liked it. I was in strange mood the night I wrote it.
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Ha! Yeah - whoever would really refer to this as a friend? Thank you so much for entering and best wishes!
[Tahnks for adding your rose!] -
Could you please add a rose to your authors comments? Thank you!
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This was a very funny look at what I'm dealing with right now. lol. I've had hot flashes so bad I had all my hair cut off! My kids had a fit but boy it felt good! Thanks for making me take a moment to realize I can laugh about it, Cathy
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Yes you are right, hahaha. This is funny. And boy don't we hate those cramps! I think I could use a snickers right now... LOL!
Thanks for entering 
good luck.
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Thanks Mother Angst. Maybe someday they will invent something so wemon won't have to go throught this. After child birth, we should be given a break.
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Thanks AZNrules. If it made you smile or laugh than I achieved what I was trying to do.
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Thanks aghanishah I am so glad you enjoyed it, I wasn't trying to make it rhymn, just trying to add some humor.
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Thanks rooibos. That's simple..men get screamed at by their wifes and Blamed for everything
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Thanks Americangirl I'm so glad you liked it.Just trying to add a little humor to your day.
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Thanks book2garden I'm so glad you liked it. I was in a goofy mood last night and thought I would write something with a little humor.
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yipes!
yipes! ive yet to go thru this, but i hope it goes better then this!lol! friends have described it just as you have in this cute, humourus write. -
That was darn funny. Thanks for the laugh. My mom's going through it, so I understand.
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well no ryhme but fine art it was specially your thoughts beyong it
its lovely -
The evils of growing up...
First you don't know what your period is.
Then you hate having it.
Then you get menopause.
What do men get?! lol this made me laugh and think of my aunt lol great job
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This is good, I can relate to more than I want to count!
There were a few grammitical errors, other than that
it is a really good poem. I especially relate to the mood
changes coiming every minute!!! Keep up the good work. -
That was really funny. I don't get the menopause yet, heck, won't for awhile, but it's still good. Great write. Good work. God Bless!
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Thanks Kiddo. Just think of the PMS in your house with 4 females. You will be going nuts.
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yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....as a man I have so much to look forward to in life....good write.
*Ktulu Blackwolfe* -
Thanks Raven I am glad you liked it. I want part of the advantages but not the disadvantages.
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This was so funny, yet so true. Being only 34, I have not yet hit it full force, but I started it at 25 so hopefully I can be done with it soon???? LOL Great job. Lost Raven
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As always I thank you Kari. I hope it broght a smile to your heart anyway...
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umm I think I'll stay 25
This was funny thanks for sharing lol
Kari -
Thanks head witch I was in a mood to write something uplifting. Or maybe depressing. I guess it depends on which side of menopause your on.
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Well, thank you for giving me so much to look forward to lol, and I thought that the periods were bad. I got a chuckle out of this as well as a warning. Great write. Merry Part and Blessed Be.
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