Lines Of Life ) the truth of youth

LINES OF LIFE
BY PAUL ENGLAND

PAGE 1
We all start out the same young, cocky and we just don't give a fucking**. I was no different.
For most my life I lived on North Hull and Branslhome. I've got two older
brothers and a younger sister. I want to tell you of a time when I was 10
years old going on 11. It was coming to the point where I was starting
seniors, times were changing quick. Drugs were coming big again, and kids
they just didn’t know any different.

PAGE 2

EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE

The way we liveso cool and wise
Fourteen years old with those glazed eyes
Willing to kill
o conscience you'll find
Cos the so crazy in their mind
No respect for old
o respect for poor
In these street sit's fuck the law
At war with ourselves fighting each other
It seems everyday we’re dying another


PAGE 3


You see looking back now I can see how
crazy life really was.
Ever since I can remember I always had
trouble with school.
I was always acting the clown in class
and fighting with the other kids.
You see my dad would egg me on, I don't
think he saw any wrong in what he was doing
but now I am older I don't thank him for it.
When I was about 10 and half years old we
moved from North Hull to Branslhome, up north
I used to knock about with my cousins Phil and
Jonny and my brother Dave.


PAGE 4


SO POOR

So poor, so poor
just wish I had more

thats why at 13
I was taking pills for thrills
and at 14 I was stealing,
for fun
at 15 I was buying a gun

At 16 and 17
just dealing and selling
at 18 I could hear,
the prison birds say

your coming to stay,
not just for a day
so the youth of today
don't you go the same way

do you hear what I say

for I was just so poor,
I just wanted more


PAGE 5


But when we moved I starting knocking about with a gang of lads, I was one
of the young ones their ages ranged from 11 to 16. I remember the first
time I tried pot, there must of been about 10 to 15 of us We all sat on
this grass near Sutton Road one of my mates’ older brother gave us all it I
think it was the first time for most of us. Soon after we started to nick
motorbikes and go off the rails in general. We started sniffing petrol and
other things like hairspray, gas and things like that If I'm honest I
thought these days were the best days of my life I never looked beyond the
next day you don't at that age you just think things will turn out alright.


PAGE 6

FATHERS FUC*** CRAZY

How can I love you dad you showed me only bad
Mother said I'm a crazy lad hat left me feeling sad
Dad you made me beat himFor I was just your pawn
Dave I am so sorryut that is all I was shown
My father would sit backand watch two brothers fight
No rules within this battlewe could even bite
Dave would cry to stopor he was meek and mild
But dad would egg me oncos I was fuc*** wild
For dad abused this love his love I had for him
I idolized him seemy father was my king
Dave still bears the scarsof what I did back then
It still affects him noweven now we’re men
To write such crazy thingsstill hurts to say today
Daddy I don't love youwhat hurtful words to say
Your eighteen stones of crapI'll make it fuc*** clear
I am but ten stoneut you know why you fear
I hate you fuc*** bastar*cockroach you fuc*** prick
I can never love youyou make me fuc*** sick
To grow and feel such hateI hope I touch your heart
Father we can't healyou ripped this all apart
These words are just so sadTo speak this way of you
But father’s fuc*** crazyor every word of this is true


PAGE 7

By time I was 13 coming up to 14 we had peeled off from a lot of them and
started doing our own thing we started going down north and knocking about
with our Phil and some of my old mates we were getting stoned, robbing,
taking acid and doing a bit of speed.
I remember one day my oldest brother Mike got caught sniffing gas my dad
went off his head he grounded Mike for 3 months and he kept him in for the
full time, so me and our Dave made sure we didn't get caught. I remember
this one night in particular my mam sat us all down around her bed I was 14
at this time she said that she was going to leave my dad I went to bed that
night and cried my heart out I was gutted big time.


PAGE 8

A PAST OF CRAZY THINGS


I've been searching for God so longut I never seem to find
I've been looking to tell his Son hese sins within my mind
About a child so lost insideut all people saw was bad
No love now from his fatherjust made this child so sad
For his sins still haunt his dreamsof a past filled of regret
He roamed the streets so youngor the devil there he met
As he looks into his pastonly seeing with glass eyes
With Michael laid to restut God don’t hear my cries
For a mother who said she loved himut still see left him there
With an alcoholic fatherwho never did he care
As he lived this broken hadand his world just fell apart
Drugs they stole his dreams hen ripped straight through his heart
For his parents gave him life hen inspired all his sins
But they won't feel his loveas I write these crazy things


PAGE 9

At this time I was knocking about with our Phil he was working cos he had
already left school. Me, I was always wagging off school and when I did
bother to turn up I was just bad I had three different teachers in my first
three years at seniors I never did my work I was just a complete pain in the
arse.


PAGE 10

CLASSROOM FOOL

They pushed me out the classroom
And left me there so mad.
Then when I lost my temper,
Then they would ring my dad.

My dad would come to school,
To talk with MR GREEN.
But he beat me black and blue,
For my father was so mean.

The teachers could not find,
The boy so lost in me.
The others would just tease,
Until I went crazy.

They sat me in a place,
In a room just all alone.
The teacher would then say
Young man now change your tone.

You can sit alone and think,
Why you act this way.
But the teacher would not listen,
This child didn’t have his say

Sometimes he was not wrong,
He raged now to be heard.
Then MR GREEN would say
MR ENGLAND, can I have a word

You know I'll ring your father,
But he will beat me black and blue
So please just claim your temper,
But what I say is true

But the teacher could not hear,
The bad tempered classroom fool.
The rest of the time I twagged,
I just didn’t bother to go to school.


PAGE 11

I remember this one day I wagged it was about two weeks after my mam had
said she was going to leave I went home at ‘home time’ when I walked in our
Mike was there to meet me he said my mam had gone. My dad had always left us
kids to my mam apart from if we were naughty or he wanted me and our Dave to
fight. He had always been strict he was a proud man that’s why he didn’t cry
at first. He went out on the piss and come back paralytic me and a few of my
mates were upstairs when I just heard a smash
I ran down stairs to see my dad putting his fists through the lead glass
windows, I ran straight to him. he just crumbled to the floor in tears I
just put my arms around him.


PAGE 12

CRAZY KID

By sixteen he's selling feta boy out of school
no job can he get
Led by his mateshe's selling his soul
Outside the school gateshe's stuck in this hole
Taking the pureand turning them bad
Taking the soul hat he never had
Sitting aroundhe said it's a treat
Now there’s a habitI'm robbing my street
Feeling a pain
eeding some more
No money againI'm needing a score
Doing this shitwanting the bag
Leaving this life hat he never had
Alone in the park he devil he calls
With the touch of a pinhe's taking our souls
For looking aroundI've seen him before
Forgetting his name
ow I'll never know.


PAGE 13

In the days after he was in a daze on tablets and booze we were allowed to
stay off school my mam didn’t even get in touch cos she knew my dad would of
talked her into coming back about six days passed then my dad found out
where she was. He took our Mike out on the piss and went round there I
remember him coming in with no top on and some shell suit bottoms he just
laid on his bed laughing I asked him what he was laughing at he just said
don't you worry about it son ,not long after Mike come in


PAGE 14

ONLY WORDS

Drugs are killingwe know thats true
There's no way backor me or you
Speaking out with wordspassions running high
With huslters selling drugshow many stand to die?
The government stand asideas another die's in vain
He was just another numberhe never had a name
Looking at the way we live he futures looking dark
Feeling only fearwith the devil in this park
For the only way is forwardwe leave the past behind
For drugs they take out childrenin this world which shows no kind
Can only words now change this worldand the way we live within
As I lay and talk with godI'm telling him my sin


PAGE 15

About an hour passed and someone was at the front door our Mike answered it,
I stood behind him there were about 10 police officers they just pushed
their way in. Mike got cuffed and put in the van. My dad hid in the loft
but they got him out as well. My mam came back while my dad was in cells.
It turned out my dad and Mike smashed this
guy’s flat up the guy jumped out the back window and smashed the heels of
his feet in.
My mam stuck about while my dad got bail then she went to help the guy in
hospital .
You see by this time I think my dad knew my mother wasn’t coming back,


PAGE 16

OPEN WOUNDS

This is how it is now here is no turning back
My father I rememberyour every stir and smack
You took me in your car hose nights you come home pissed
But I was just a childwho's life you put at risk
Some days we had no foodut you still pissed it up
Then we didn't go to schoolut did you give a fu**
You sat and watched us fightwith your sick and twisted ways
Now I look into the pastall I see is crazy days
For that time you said my mothershe had no love for me
That bond you let be brokenor hurt you'll never see
To show me how to hate the worldwhen I was just too young
Sometimes I hate to say hat father I'm your son
Yes you are my fatherut my love you'll never feel
To look into my pastopen wounds just feel so real


PAGE 17


he started drinking all the time and us kids could do what the fu** we
liked. My dad would go to pub and we would get birds around, get stoned and
pissed. At this time we didn’t have to go to school my dad didn't care when
your at that age(14) you don't see how important school is and 90% of kids
would have stayed off if they could. In the months to come my dad was
always going round to my mams causing trouble. He always used to drink
drive some nights he would come in and take us out in his car
he had drank anywhere between 10 and 15 pints.


PAGE 18


THE BOY INSIDE

I'm crying inside he boy you can't see
Built up of dreamswith hope I'm free
Seeing all the bad timesGod has come near me
Feeling all the sad times he boy inside of me
A cry for help
o one is there
This hand I'm dealt his can't be fair
This cry for help
o one can see
That I'm this boy his boy is me


PAGE 19


I thought it was a buzz at the time but I was just a kid you don't see the
danger and when I look back now I just think I'm lucky to be alive not just
cos of that but other things I was doing taking acid mixing it with booze,
smoking pot and a number of other things. My dad would let us rob, he even
used to fence the stuff sometimes. I remember one night sat in one of the
bedrooms with our Mike, his bird, one of his mates and my dad they were all
tripping (taking LSD) I was skinning up for then I would of been nearly 15
(what a role model).


PAGE 20


LOOKING GOOD YOUR NOT


I write this for the young ones
who think there fucking clever
I took all kinds of drugs,
but never was it clever

fucks to looking good,
to mates who say there cool
I will say it to there face
there nothing but a fool

wisdom comes with age
only you can walk your path
fucking think your it,
don't you make me laugh

I see into your future
without no crystal ball
you can mark my words,
your destin for a fall

go now do your drugs
go then waste your time
go on follow your friends,
into down beat crime

but know there not a friend
and you will fall alone
look into your mothers eyes
then know it's her who'll moan

for them you call your friends
they won't care for you
for it's mothers heart you'll break
when your laid there blue


PAGE 21


About a year passed and my dad had met this bird – Sue
after a month or so she was moving in
we were getting pushed out my dad had said
that we would always come first but he lied.
I remember one night I started arguing with Sue
I called her a silly cow and my dad grabbed me round
the neck I ran out
I said I'm going to my mams, our Gemma came
with me, our Dave stayed with my dad,
our Mike got his own place with his bird she was having
his kid and he started selling pot.
You see in the year I'd lived with my dad he
didn’t buy us a thing I didn’t even have a school
uniform cos he pissed all the money up the wall
So my mam got a bigger place me and Gem moved
in with her and her bloke Kev he was a bit of a dick
but he was not a problem.


PAGE 22


A CHILD WHO CAME SO PURE


As I lay and dream at night
Why do I think so deep?
For is that just my soul
That I see within my sleep

What is this world about?
Why do we live to die?
Where is the God we doubt?
Why is the sky so high?

For them still taking life
Knowing we’re all the same
But a human life is priceless
Can God now feel my pain?

For my pain still bears the scars
For a poor man’s just so weak
Why are a child’s mistakes?
Inside these words I speak

As children, still die today
But they just need a meal
For all the greedy people
Just imagine how they feel

So where is your love for life
For this place is just one earth
Where the greatest things come free
Like a mother blessed with birth

This place just seems so crazy
Sometimes I just feel sad
For a child who came so pure
To a world of good and bad


PAGE 23


My old lady tried to get me back to school but by this time I had missed too
much to do any good so I left. I only went back for 3 days waited till I
turned 16 and started looking for a job. I had moved back down north where
all my mates lived I remember riding
about on my push hog every day for about two weeks looking for work then one
of our Jonny’s mate got me in at a wood yard backing a saw off. I used to
work with a lad called Huey he was spot on I'll always have time
for him if I was to pick a godfather to my son then that would be him. He
used to take me round town with him and his brothers it was sound.


PAGE 24


DRUG FILLED STREETS

Drug filled streetsis all I can see
The drugs are calling hey’re following me
Through my good times and bad hey’re all that is there
When I'm lonely and sad hey show that they care
Giving me a highwhen I am on a low
Giving me the lowswhen I am always poor
Seeing all this lifeeeling it alone
Seeing into streets hese streets are made of stone
Looking out my window o all that I can see
Is these drug filled streets hese streets are killing me


PAGE 25


I stuck at my job, about 14 months passed and the kid who got me the job had
started knocking about with us. He started smoking dope and doing the shit
we were but he got caught by the boss. They blamed me cos I was loud and
out going a week later I got the sack in the midst of all this I felt my
first love but she was just a bitch she broke my heart in both situations I
was gutted. I used to love the job it only paid 70 pound a week but that
did not matter I did smoke pot but I never got caught smoking it at work and
the other well that’s all you need to know about that.


PAGE 26


MY FIRST LOVE BROKE MY HEART


Girl do you remember,
the first time you saw my face
girl do you remember,
the love you left to waste

girl it's you I'm talking to
the one who broke my heart
took it like a glass,
then shattered it apart

we would meet after work
then walk and talk together
I had a plan for us,
for this love to last forever

do you remember the song you gave
I thought the words was true
it was like boys to men had wrote,
wrote them words for me and you

girl I thought you were the one
I acted like some romeo
girl I wanted you to be
my one and only julliet

I remember walking away
with the tears in my eyes
fucking little bitch
I got took in by your lies

you was this boys first love
but then you went and broke my heart
this is the first time I have said about
that fucking little tart


PAGE 27


Anyhow by this time our Mike had been selling pot
for about 2 years his girlfriend had a little girl call Kellie he was doing
well for himself. Our Dave was in a flat doing a lot of tablets drinking all
the time and a number of other drugs. Our Gem had got with a kid called Rob
and moved in with him. So anyhow I saw how well our Mike was doing for
himself and I asked my mam to lend me some money so I could buy some pot and
make a bit of pocket money, my mam had got our Dave to move in cos he was
in a mess.


PAGE 28


THE TRUTH TODAY

I write the words
your scared to say
I write the truth,
of life today

I say the shit,
of all the bad
To tell the things
that make me mad

The drugs they took,
my soul from me.
I've seen spilt blood,
and misery

I've seen the death,
but seen no cause
Don't care your thoughts,
and fuk the laws

I've lost my blood
and shed the tears
I face the world
with no true peers

I held my blade
and felt the power
Someone will die,
within the hour

I write the rhymes,
of a thousand crimes
To tell the past,
a thousand times

I say these things,
to change the way
Just look to see,
the truth today


PAGE 29


A couple of weeks later mam decided to move in Kev’s flat with him so she
let me and Dave have the house our Phil and Jonny and the rest of the lads
were coming round we were getting smashed, playing cards for money, hitting
the town on a weekend .It was good days. Life was moving fast the streets
were getting worse drugs were everywhere .
There was a bird across road I used to sell pot to she was called Bev I used
to sit with her during the day while the lads was at work. She would buy
pot then ask me to build joints for her she was sound we had a good laugh.


PAGE 30


THE DRUG DEALER


the drug dealer I've been\so much shit I've seen
You can only dream\unless you've been
Who gives a fuck\do I care?
So many they dareyour kids I swear

But who am I

A drug dealing crook\or have I your good?
Some say I'm just misunderstood

So I say this\when I stop
There'll always be a drug dealer\on your block
Who offers the lot\to you and to me
And our kids you'll see


PAGE 31


In the end our Dave got with her and moved in with her the housing people
found out my mam was not living with us so I had to give the house up. I had
a choice cos our Mike wanted it so he said I could live with him and his
family or get a flat of my own.. I let him move in. He had said that he
wanted to stop selling pot and that he wanted me to so I did, but when he
moved in he brought a key with him I got a job anyways.


PAGE 32


THE EDUCATION SYSTEM FAILED ME


Lets set the record straight
I ain't no robin hood
I'm the mother fucker,
who the teachers called no good

They thought I'd turn to smack,
and be dead by 21
well fuck you Mr Green
you teachers all was wrong

I ain't shooting up the gear
or robbing for addiction
fuck you all it's Paul,
and your shallow faced prediction

I saw you in PC world
and you asked if I was clean
I never did that shit
you assumed cos I am lean

well I'm sick of you all judging me
what gives you the right
without the help of any
Paul still saw the light

well thank you judgemental cunts
for the lack of my education
so now become a witness
to a bad boys restoration

for I am one of many children
that this system failed to reach
maybe I was lost
but you was paid to teach

instead you refused to try
you took the pay check in unjust
for you left the problem child
out in the rain to rust


PAGE 33


It was only temporary and after a couple of months I got laid off, so I
started selling pot again our Mike and his lass didn't like it but he could
not tell me that I couldn't do it when he was, so we made a deal that I
could make 50 quid a week. Then the rest was his but it only lasted a week
cos I knew I could make more, half the people he was selling it to were my
customers so we both did our own thing.


PAGE 34


A PART OF LIFE

Pot is not so goodut the moneys coming in
Living in these streetsI'll become no king
Scrimping like a peasant hose times have passed me by
Looking at my past hen I begin to cry
Breaking all the laws he law that did not care
Thinking of my brother’s death his life is never fair
Looking to the future
ot selling to the kids
Looking in the mirrorat a criminal face that fits
Eleven years oldirst time I smoked this joint
Thirteen years laterI still don't see the point
This world that I now speak of his place of no return
Now I write my rhymesIn hope that kids will learn


PAGE 35


We always used to fight over it cos his bird saw the money I was making and
she didn't like it. In the end I started looking for a flat to stop all the
shit. By this time I was 19 years old. Most of my days was spent in bed
till dinner time then I would carry my-
self to Tesco's for some dinner in the café. Dave was living with Bev
getting out his head. Mike used to get egged up, not all the time but when
he did you knew about it. He had a partner in crime his mate J, I remember
this one morning I was laid in bed smoking a reef of green it must of been
10 in the morning I went to toilet as you do cos pot is like a laxative.


PAGE 36


DYING YOUNG

The streets are dirtyso full of crime
By sixteenyou've served your time
Pinching bikesyour nicking cars
Smoking potyour seeing stars
Wagging schoolsniffing tanks
Steal a stereo
o please or thanks
Take a tripor try some eggs
I've taken tencan't feel my legs
Two strobs insideI'm seeing trails
Now I'm alivemy ship it sails
First the pot hen some eggs
Soon enough he pins last dregs
To feel aloneyour friends have gone
The bag the pin he only one
To see your faceso thin and grey
To try and thenyou waste away
To know it all o think your it
To try and then o die is shit


PAGE 37


while I was on bog the door knocked I looked out the window it was J, Mike
was at doctors getting his eggs(sleeping pills+ pain killers) so I went to
let him in by time I got downstairs Mike had come back and they were both in
the kitchen sorting their tablets, out they went in the living room. so did
I our kid said I could have some but I liked to keep my head, they took
some and for the rest of the day they were out of it. I think he was
taking more and more he was also drinking vodka. It got to about 5' o clock
Phil, Jonny and Lee had come round for a few spliffs Lee had just won an
award for his brick-laying


PAGE 38


THE GOOD OLD DAYS


For the bad times that I tell
I had some good as well
The boys, the beer, the grass,
I loved footy but I was no class
We laid, we drank, we smoked
Sometimes, we always joked
We laughed from cheek to cheek
But Ako did not speak
Leebo just talked trash
While eyed up by every lass
But Gee he just talked straight
And Shaggy was my best mate
For Deansy lived nearby
And our Dave was always high
Jonny was as sly as muck
He was a lady’s locksmith crook
We would sit in the sun all day
For the banter I still can hear
Bitching from mate to mate
It was all good, there was no hate
Just good times of the lads and I
Laid under that cloudless sky
When I look for the good times I see
Good memories of the lads and me


PAGE 39


we were in my bed room our Mike come in he was out of it I remember him
pushing my tele across the table with his head and I said watch what your
doing he replied what
you on about I never touched your tele, he was asking for a joint but I said
come on I'll help you to bed, he was still going on about a joint while we
were on the landing I said we'll have one when you get up and I laid him on
his bed I went back in my bedroom . Me and the lads had a chat, a few
reefs then the lads got off to get changed . I went to the door with them
then went back up stairs I went in to check on Mike I always did if either
him or Dave had taken out and I was about then I would keep my eye on ‘em I
started shaking his arm not a lot cos I didn't want him lashing out not that
he was like that but when you do eggs then you change he wouldn't wake up I
thought he was just out
of it,


PAGE 40


I DON'T BELONG


I don’t belong
I don’t belong in this time, this place,
where I sit in this space.
Among the crime, where some many come to some harm,
where there's no carm.
I don’t belong where the young are fighting in vain,
most going insane.
In a place, this space,
where they spit in your face.
I don’t belong where there is war,
so show me the door.
You don’t understand I just want more for my life,
not just this rife.
Where has it all gone wrong,
why do I feel I don’t belong.


PAGE 41


I went down stairs and asked his lass to check on him I remember saying he's
alright he's just a bit out of it I went in the kitchen then was on my way
back up stairs when his girlfriend started screaming, I ran up to see what
was up she just started shouting he won't wake up I jumped on the bed I
remember having hold of him shaking him his lass ran down stairs to ring an
ambulance, the next thing I remember is a kid from next door come in he was
a mate of Mike’s, he started trying to save him. I just ran out of the room
I was shaking, pacing up and down in the hallway the ambulance took forever
the kid
come out his name was Lee I asked him if he was ok he said to be honest mate
I don't think he's going to make it.


PAGE 42


GOD HIS CALLING

He is calling my name
He will come again
He is calling me
To set me free

He has been before
He is back for me
To show a place
Where things come free

No money no power
No pain to see
No money or hands
Our souls float free

No drugs in demand
God is calling see

A light this place
To where we go
Is this a place?
We have been before

The fear we feel
Before we’re there
If we knew, would we care?

God is back
He is calling again
God is near
He is calling my name


PAGE 43


I just ran out into the street I was in tears, there was a kid from one of
the flats going out in his car I asked him to take me to town where my mam
lived. I remember sat in the back of his car saying he's dead, he's dead. He
dropped me off about 2 minutes away I just ran, it took forever I got there
and ran in, my mam was on the floor screaming she was in bits. You see the
truth is what I realize now is that we had took a turn in life and there
was no way back. I never feared anything in life like I did when I realized
he was dead.


PAGE 44


MISSING HIM

Look inside my dreams
and see what you can find?
See into my eyes
For this world shows me no kind

Mercy's for the weak
and the streets they showed me none.
I was searching for top spot,
But it's different now he's gone.

Though I still miss him now,
I have to set him free.
Eight years is just to long you see
For his death to be haunting me.

I helped him to is bedroom
and laid him on his bed.
I walked back in to check on him,
To find he lay there dead!

Then all my dreams were killed,
The day the drugs killed him.
I sat alone then at night
Just feeling every sin.

Inside I just felt empty.
I sat alone and cried
the only day I now remember
Is that day my brother died

For yes his still my brother.
His still my mother’s son
and still I miss him every day
For what started out as fun!


PAGE 45


I never slept that night at all I just sat there with my mam you see we
didn't get on that well cos of all the dealing and shit. But he was my
brother and I loved him. That night he died something died in me I just
felt empty I was the last one to talk to him and the first to see him dead
the truth I found it hard my head was in bits. As the days drifted away I
just got stoned 24 I tried not to talk about him. I was just trying to
hold it together but I just couldn't handle it.


PAGE 46


ONLY THE TRUTH

Darkness fills my past he truth it hurts to say
My life has been so madsince that crazy day
With Mike laid on the bed hen I just fell to bits
My life became a jigsawut the pieces just didn't fit
Phil just fucked me overwhile Jonny walked away
No one was there for meinside my darkest day
I just fell so deepwhile people said I'm knout
For every word I write here will be another soon to doubt
But I don't give a shitcos I believe you see
The thug that people seeut that’s no longer me
For now just pen and paperI no longer do no crime
The only crime I now commitis the truth within my rhyme


PAGE 47


About 4 months passed and Phil was having a 21st party so I went I was stood
looking about when this lass came up to me and asked me to dance I said no
but you can come in the toilets and I'll build a reef I was cracking up
inside and I was looking for a reason to live. It turned out that Phil had
got off with our Mike’s lass the same night. I didn't know at the time but
when I found out I went round to see him. We had been best mates for 15
years we grew up together. I asked him to stop and to show some respect. He
gave me his word but he just carried on behind my back. You see when I
needed my friends most, my best mate sold me out. The truth is he should of
had more respect than that we served a life sentence on the streets


PAGE 48


PHIL YOU MADE YOUR BED

We grew on streets togetherlike life served time in jail
Then I felt your bladewhile Mike, he laid there pale
I thought we were real tightut you just sold me out
Like time we spent and grewut that time it just meant knout
You were like another brotheryou know I write for real
But when you broke your word hen friendship’s turning stale
You should have been there Phil
ot fucking with his wife
His body was not coldut you jumped in on his life
So now there is no friendship hat shit was just too quick
But now my heart is strongyou know you were a prick
For now I'm standing firmmy pens unloading lines
Now I spell it out so clear hat you've become my rhymes
And when it all goes wrong hen I won't feel for you
I told you this back thenThat me and you are through
So you lay in your bed hen remember what you said
For where were you for mewhen Mike, he laid there dead?


PAGE 49


So when you think about it if that’s what friends will do could you imagine
what your enemies would do? So anyhow I started spending a lot of time with
this bird. I knocked about with a lad called Deansy he was alright. I
remember this one night we went in pub there was me, our lass, her sister
and Deansy. We were playing pool when a fight broke
out between some of the local dealers and a couple of guys. I saw what was
going on and made a move real quick I knew they had put one of them in a
bad. Way later I heard on the radio that he was dead. My life was in bits
and my head had gone to shit.


PAGE 50


MURDER IN A PUB

I stood there playing pool.
When I turned I just saw rage.
A heart as cold as ice
like a wild beast let out from his cage.

He walked and jumped three feet,
Fifteen stone now in the air.
A man landed on his head,
so cool, we just left him there.

The beast sat at his table,
no emotion in his eyes
and he finished off his pint
without a care if that man died.

My friends and I just stood there,
me, but a boy at aged nineteen,
like gangsters in a movie
But this was not a movie scene.

The man was old and small
but they left him there for dead.
While later driving in my car,
this is what the DJ said

A man has died in a pub fight,
A drug dealers melee.
They took that old man's life away
and those people now walk free

because no-one would testify
of what they saw that day.
It was murder in a pub
that still I see today.


PAGE 51


I started caining pot morning noon till night I was just trying to get away
from it all I was just trying to forget. You see in the space of 6 months I
lost my brother I saw a man murdered in cold blood and I lost my best friend
and the truth is it hurt and still does. By this time most of my other
mates went off and did their own thing. After a bit I moved in with our
lass and her son his dad was J our Mike’s partner in crime. I didn't really
like him. One night he rang up saying he just wants to see his son so I
said come for him then
but don't come out your head. In the mean time I had got our lass pregnant


PAGE 52


PAINTED PICTURE

I've got painted pictures
That you just cannot see
Locked inside my mind
The painted picture a true van gough
That on one will ever find

I never asked for this
Or the truth that I have seen
Alone in dreams at night
Inside myself I scream

Please someone let me out
Cos the bars have locked me in
I cannot feel my soul
I only feel my sin

For these painted pictures haunting me
For his eyes look down so deep
In the silence of the night
As the floor boards sound a creak

I can no longer see his face
Just a shadow in the night
I no longer call his name
But these pictures why I write


PAGE 53


so J started coming round but after a bit he came egged up in a car trying
to take his son but I said no and told him to fu** off. I rang his mam’s
and told her to tell him not to
come back cos I'll batter the prick. You see at this time I was just
smoking loads of pot trying to blank Mike out my head but the truth is I can
still see his face like it was just yesterday. I stayed in all the time I
just sank deeper and deeper. I became lost and lonely like the child I once
was. So the months drifted by and my son was born for the first time since
Mike had passed away I felt like I had something to live for I was still
smoking pot all the time but my son still made me smile.


PAGE 54


MY BABY BOY


A baby is born
Into your world
A boy he brings
He's like a pearl
Those tears of joy
Run down my face
The Gods above
Have blessed my place
This child he brings
with love and joy
Nothing will compare
With you my baby boy


PAGE 55


Time passed by and our lass got offered a house near to where her family
lived so she took it. I was down still and I never went out at all I
started writing poetry so that I could say what I felt. It seemed to do
some good it seemed to stop me bottling it all up inside.
I smoked that much pot that I ended up in debt for it, the kid I got it off
was sound he used to come round for a brew and a chat, one day I saw him and
he asked me if I wanted a bit of work. He said I'll come round and we'll
have a chat about it.


PAGE 56


FORGOTTEN


I'm only bringing truth to words
That no one else will say
I'm talking of the streets again
And the way we live today
You see there’s no opportunities
For the poor man just like me
For dreams are shattered by drugs on streets
In a life we live law free
I'm just another number to them
Not a man that the government see
I'm just another no one
With no way out for me
Life is hard if you walk my way
And do the things I've done
For God came once too close to me
For fear I had to run
The truth of life that it's no game
The hardest still feel the pain
Cos if I were to die today
Tomorrow they would forget my name


PAGE 57


He turned up and asked me if I wanted to run for him dropping pot off so I
said yes.. I owed him 6 hundred quid and I needed to pay that back, he also
bought me a car, then for weeks he didn’t say knout else about it so I rang
him and asked him to come round for a word to see what was going on. He
said he didn't want me to so I asked him to sort me
out but he said I owed him too much money so I sold the car and got a bar
laid on. I started making a bit of money and started to live a bit I
started knocking around with the lad I got it off. He seemed alright. You
see when I had knout he sorted me out and for that I was grateful.


PAGE 58


LIVING WITH HOPE
To the souls who lostin the past of days
The way we liveTo change the ways
Looking to my peopleon a washed up street
Falling to my kneesat the devils feet
To dance with the deviland all that he owns
Then fade into the darknessof concrete stones
Living with the power hat came with the money
Searching for my placelike a bee to honey
Seeing through the darknesslinded by the light
Feeling all my fearsas the day becomes night
Looking for my Godut the devil shows his face
Feeling all alonein this stranger’s place
Looking to this landeeling only fear
Searching through this lifehope in God - his near


PAGE 59


he was coming round all the time I was smoking loads of pot I lost quiet a
lot of weight. I ended up at 8 stone 13 pounds for about a year it was all
good. I started going to gym with my score he was supposed to have a bit of
a reputation but he seemed to be sound with me. One night he came round and
asked me to go test some pot for him I didn’t think knout of it. We went to
this field and we just stood there it must of been 10 at night. He was
about 100 yards away just pacing up and down he started to come towards me I
said your fu**ing mates. Taking his time he just went he's not coming then
he started offering me out the truth is I bottled it I just didn’t expect
that there was no need at all he was making a lot of money off me


PAGE 60


THE DEALER

In bed till tenI wake again
I roll I roach hen sit and smoke
They knock or ring o come for more
I'm the dealer hey come to score
Two kids I've got he government forgot
In council streetswere left to rot
So I sell I stealI deal the pot
Now I’m the dealerwho's best forgot


PAGE 61


so I decided to go to gym I stopped smoking pot and started training five
days a week I gained about a stone and half over about 5 months. He still
sorted my pot out but he never stayed at my house and when he did come he
always had a mate with him you see before Mike died I'd of sorted him out
with not a second thought but I'd changed I'm not saying I was a hard cunt
or out but I could look after myself. As the time pasted things settled
down we didn’t knock about together but we were talking again I stopped
training and got back on the pot, shit just seemed to be forgot about.


PAGE 62

THINGS I SAID


God will be my judge
for my wrong that I do
I can only write the words
then the rest is up to you

I can't write my wrongs
or live this life again
I can't make the world,
love me or love my pen

I can only tell it true
and say what's going on
back then I sold the pot
I can say now, I was wrong

back then I did not see
that life's a one time thing
but when I write it true
my heart is all I bring

I fear the things I write
I'm scared I'll end up dead
within the words I write
I fear the things I said.


PAGE 63


One day our Jonny rang me for some pot so I went down I took our lass and my
boys with me when I got back I dropped them off and went to bookies Jamie my
stepson come running round he said we've been robbed they took my pot the
kids playstation and some dvds. A guy turned up and said he had been once
he said a kid come out with a bag and said I was not in my head was racing,
the first person there to help me was my score I
drove around the streets looking but didn’t find anyone


PAGE 64


LIVING MY PAST

Living my pastit's in my head
All the bad timesmy brother is dead
I'm so lonely insidekeep trying to hide
Away from the thingsinside my mind
The pain I faceWhen I wake
No one sees what I feel
Living my past his time won't heal
Not my pastor this pain that I feel


PAGE 65


At the time my head was twated I remember I kept looking out at my car then
two weeks later my car got broke into I was pissed to fuck at the same time
I got some trouble with some lads I used to sort out they tried to get me in
a pub to jump me but I knew so I
didn’t leave my car the night someone messed with my car I packed my stuff
up and moved out I'd had enough. Not long after I'd moved out I stopped
selling pot and I sat there thinking it all over in my head and I'm 99% sure
who did what and if I was the old Paul then I would have got even but I've
changed I'm a father now and he's the most important one in my life.


PAGE 66


A MAD MAN FOR LIFE

I'm a real mad manam I coming for you?
Been doing me wrongI'm coming it's true

If you fucked with my housemy car my life
A bad boy for goodyou'll be paying the price

My dad made me crazyand fight all the time
A ten year oldsoon turning to crime

You see this is my life his is for real
Walking them pathwhere people turn pale

For fears my friendI will not fear you
I'm coming aloneI'm needing no crew

To just walk awayut a mad man inside
Since God took my bloodstill finding it hard

But the streets are my place hey have been for life
A mad man is comingand he's holding my knife


PAGE 67


You see I don't fear them people I pity them there’s no honour among thieves
that’s the life I've lived and it's not what I wish for my kids.I miss Mike
everyday and I think I always will Me and my dad don't talk I don't like
him but he's my dad at the end of the day. Me and my mam have fallen out
over this book cos of the things I say but it is not said in hurt but in
peace I love my mam and I always will.


PAGE 68


WORDS TO MIKE

The rhyme just lets it outwhat I've felt for all these years
For words, they tell my life o all my broken tears
You see I hold no shame o cry in front of you
The shame of what I say hat most my words are true
I miss our Mike todayhis Kellie is so smart
She's now his pride of lifeor pure was in his heart
She's growing up so fastas time just passes by
For tears they hit this pagewhy did you have to die
I can't seem to find the answersI don't think I ever will
But the thing I know for sureis any drugs can kill
Cos you think it won't be yoursI heard some name another
Not in a million yearsdid I think it would be my brother
To Mike I miss you stillI wish you were still here
I hope you rest in peacein my heart your always near



PAGE 69


The one thing this life has taught me is that every kid has their own
destiny and will only walk their own path we can teach children but will
never control. You can smack them beat them but god gave us all one thing
it's called free will. So to lines of life I've lived for real now there’s
no way back for me


To MICHEAL
Where ever you are may you forever rest in peace
We will love you always and miss you forever.
From the heart of Paul Steven England.

PAGE 70


FALLEN TEARS


In my words, you'll find a heart
but it don't belong to me
Brothers life was cost
for painful eyes to see

Hurt will never leave
a painful past of sin
Loving mother always,
once father was my king

Bleeding thoughts on paper
telling, the deepest of my soul
Words cannot express
the pain of brothers fall

People miss you when your gone
but hate you when your here
I never got to show you
but my love was always clear

No chance to say goodbye
just gone without a trace
Only pictures on the wall
that bares your smiling face

Brother, can you see
your baby girl has grown so fast
As I look now to the future
but my heart stays in the past

Well it's time to say goodbye
so until we meet again
Rest in peace my brother
fallen tears flow from my pen


PAGE 71


TRUTHFUL WORDS

Line's of life I write
Bares the scars upon my heart
Twisted crazy mind
Skies downhill from the start

Roots and blood live here
All roads now lead to pain
To grow with hate in love
Mindless words in father’s name

The pain takes over love once had
Death flows now through this brain
To speaks forgotten gods
Of lost boys took in vain

I look for god in bad
As I ask the lord to speak
The lost soul turned to poet
A fool or just a freak

My mind’s a crazy place
Who knows what lies ahead
Sometimes to feel so lost
In truthful words I said


PAGE 72


SOULS DON'T SING TONIGHT

An eye for an eye
In pride we die
Souls don't never sin
as my angels cry
Hope is all but gone
As sanitans day dawns in
Showers from the heavens
But the angels only sing
Seeing eyes of mercy
A lonely sky tonight
Angels stand on grace
To grace we see the light
Selling souls for paper
Temptations reaching higher
Speaking lines of sin
Words all braced in fire
Doubt but in myself
Can the one believe
God is touching me
Who knows what I'll achieve
powers for the weak
My words will put things right
Angels sing for grace
But souls don't sing tonight

PAGE 73

DESTROY

Take my mind away
Let vanish all the anger
Through the path of a darkened future
Not sure what God has in store
The core of a troubled life
Is when bored kids and drugs then meet
Fleets of dealers storm the street
In the cream of the cat
The mouse can never run
To God who gave free-will
What the hell you done
Worlds a battle field
No peace in east to find
As those of power rage in anger
That won't help those people now
Sour taste in citizens buds
Of justice never filled
The bounty of Bin Laden
But what when he is killed
Laid alone like a moon at night
But I rise like the sun at light
Another day another fight another time
But still not bright
The sight of broken souls
The mind of crazy men
People seem so strange
Destroy but what is then?

PAGE 74


THE WORDSMITH


The boy becomes a man
For now my father fears
The child became a thug
As he looks back at fallen
Tears

People knock him down
But still he's standing tall
He takes it on the chin
And still he will not fall

His maker feels his love
Then his maker feels his lines
But his fathers just a bad man
For all his crazy times

In the world, he feels no love
As he sees the children die
For the hustlers talking straight
A crook but still won't lie

People only fear
What they just don't know
People fear the wordsmith
Who tells them something more?

Not the things they want to hear
Just truth within his word
For people fear different
But the wordsmith will be heard!


PAGE 75

NEVER GETTING CAUGHT


To hear one's crazy mind hen know the truth is wrote
Battles lost not wonut battles have been fought
Breaking laws since tenut never seen no cell
The rich-man calls this heavenut shit I call this hell
To never ask for nothingwhen clicked up into crime
With brother laid to rest his world just ain't my time
To tell the life for realwhile a young thug thinks he knows
Fifty key of dopeI've mixed it with them scores
Shit I'm just a hustler his is how my story ends
God just fucked me overand so did so called friends
To only trust now in myselfdon't sell the devil short
The art is not the crimeIt's never getting caught


PAGE 76

WHY I HOLD MY PEN


Why do I sit and write
I could sin now to be rich
So why did I swap my blade
Why did I make this switch?

People think they know
But they don't have a clue
People try to mock
But every word I say is true

But don't get so confused
I'm as crazy at my best
And if I choose the streets
Then god would get no rest

But I'm the bigger man
When I turned and walked away
The dealers start to fear
If I get read today

They will try to shut me, up
But I will stand and fight
Just like that Irish lady
When she choose to write

She believed in what she said
Her passion fills my soul
She did not die for nothing
For I now fight not fall

And if they want my blood
I'll fight right by there laws
I know this could be dangerous
To fight this crazy course

But if I make a change
It's worth just one mans life
That's why I hold my pen
And switched it from my knife



PAGE77

CRAZY


You must be fucking crazy o push your luck with Paul
Don't say I didn’t warn youwhen crazy comes to call
Crazy's getting angryhe's wanting fucking blood
God's his one defeatshit, crazy is the hood
Push my fucking patienceut that will make him rage
To wonder where he hishe's in his crazy cage
I hide him from the worldin my mind inside his cell
Once crazy lost his headut now he's good and well
Now he's come back stronghe knows I'll always need
Singing to the angelsshit he'll make you bleed
Cos crazy is no personcrazy’s fucking me
Paul might show you mercyut crazy's off his tree
I told you I write trueyou must be fucking high
Now ask yourself one questionare you really ready to die


PAGE 78


DEAD POETS ALWAYS LIVE

As I disappear into darkness
of a flickering candle light
mind becomes a temple
to find out why I write

only god will be my judge
for the sins i do on earth
a cunt from out the cradle
since mother gave me birth

selling drugs for money
but i did that shit with pride
father marked my heart
but the streets they made me wide

I don't have no education
but I know the world I'm in
souls have passed my eyes
but the angels never sing

so you wonder why I'm mad
cos I see with my own eyes
aids' poverty'drugs and violence
so you understand my crys

For when my own was took
too understanding why
brother I still miss you
why did you have to die?

I never asked for nothing
but god I'm asking you
guild me through the dark
for every word I write is true

I rain my pain in lines
I write to find my way
for when I'm dead and gone
the words I said will stay

you may then understand
when pettles hit the ground
dead poets always live
for only paul then will be found


PAGE 79

FORGOTTEN LIFE

Needles here
needles there
Pins and needles
everywhere

Kids are dying
drugs are living
Kids are getting
dealers giving

Life is taken
past mistakes
Soul's not given
the devil takes

The dark of light
the light of dark
Feeling small
in the devils park

Faces changing
drugs the same
pearents feeling
childrens pain

Streets so crazy
life is took
Whats his name
the forgotten crook


PAGE 80


BEFORE KIDS END UP DEAD


Drugs they take my people
The government just stand back
I'm no hamlet nor a Shakespeare
But Paul will still crack back

Yes, I've been the dealer
That's what makes my words unique
I come from out the gutter
But still I dare to speak

You see I'm not the one
But I'm different to the rest
I understand my place on earth
For I am just gods guest

For what I say is real
There's people dropping dead
Children die for greed
These children should be fed

Not led to the gates of hell
Then left to walk alone
Buried beneath the ground
With words upon there stone

For this worlds in need for change
Now my pen is aiming straight
No one sees death coming
Only god now knows my fate

But while I live and breathe
The truth will now be said
I write to warn the kids
Before they end up dead


PAGE 81


DESTINY


Now I must succeed
Where others only tried
The devil he fucked up
That day my brother died
I've wollowed in self pitty
Alone insane at night
But now I feel the lord
Everytime I start to write
There is no la de da
Cos I've got shit to say
Now the lord is guiding me
Through the devils land today
The lords the boss up there
But here he has no say
Thats why he's got me writing
To free the kids today
While some may call me crazy
But the lord he calls me son
He knows I'm kamikaze
He knows I will not run
He sends me all alone
But will his army stand
Will there be 10 millon
Up in this devils land
I'm in this with my heart
I never fight for fun
It was god who called for me
He said there is no gun
He said you start with knout
You show the world your great
He said I gave freewill
Only you can choose your fate
Then when we spoke of life
It's a gift you just don't get
Rhymes of pure emotion
While writing your regret
He said someone had to pay
Thats why your blood was took
He said you could be great
But I needed you to look
for what you saw back there
That has what has led you here
You saw the devils eyes
And still you did not fear
You walked his path of life
But found your way to me
This is now your way
To set the children free
For I just talked with god
This is what he said to me
Paul one must believe
This is your destiny


PAGE 82


CHILDREN DIED TODAY


I'm not talking bit
10 key is fuking knout
It's shipped in by the tons,
that's what I'm on about

With versace on there backs,
range rovers how they roll
Empires built with drugs,
the big boys never fall.

Council doors smashed in
to show they do there bit
But there not stopping flow,
the governments doing shit

It's all about there numbers,
to care, they don't for you
Were the fuking bad bits,
in this crazy mixed up stew

While dumpling getting fat,
but I could bring them heat
It's time that someone tried,
to clean them of my street.

For my heart is in this big
these people must be stopped
They won't shut me up,
unless I'm fuking popped

Cos the suit is fuking sweet,
but how many died for that
Blair get off your arse,
cos the devils getting fat

Show some retribution,
or dig my fuking grave
For I would rather die,
than be your fuking slave.

It's time for something different,
cos murders on the way
You want a scary thought
how many children died today?


PAGE 83


THE PASSION OF MY LINES


I've seen a man killed
before these very eyes
I've felt them tears
of a thousand crie's

I've seen my hell
and felt no love
I've looked into the eye's,
of a pure white dove

I walked with the devil
While comitting only sins
But then I walked away
from all these crazy things

Alone inside my darkness
while in this stolen night
But when I feel my sins
I sit alone to write

I will never fear my lord
nor the devil in my sight
I will not fear no one
as I stand with words to fight

The world will one day feel
the passion in my lines
As I tell within true words
of all my crazy times.


PAGE 84

A WRITTEN MIND

Take ones mind of crazy portions
In ones words of raw emotions
Mix them with a pure bread cunt
for the litter he came a selfish runt
Blinded by his lonely greed
Was he the lords now misplaced seed
To hell he's been and back again
But no one shared his lonely pain
He got caught in the devils clutch
But the smack he did not dare to touch
Always brawls when in his roots
While selling pot to bare his fruits
The boy became a thug for real
Until that day he laid there pale
His face laid cold, I still can see
The past will never set him free
A written mind of crazy portions
As he sits and writes his raw emotions


PAGE 85

MY EVIL EYES OF TRUTH


You look into my eyes
then tell me what you see
don't judge a book by the cover
for the devil is not me

I have those evil eyes of darkness
that burn into your soul
I'm the man the devil,
wished would only fall

I've lived a crazy life
for that you can be sure
from the school of hard knocks
the ones who know no law

if you show the crooks your heart
they will never be your peer
if you show the crooks no mercy
they respect but call it fear

for life's a crazy place of pride
where I live you use your head
or end up in the gutter
or even laid out dead

for what I'm trying to say,
evil eyes, I never picked them
I could of picked the gun
but instead I picked the pen


PAGE 86


THAT LIFE IS WAR

you know when I write
the truth will then prevail
I ain't fabricating,
or talking shit unreal

when I say I know the streets
then know it's straight up truth
I'll talk about the streets
if you put me in the booth

now I'm coming back like ali
the realist illist killer
nights with one eye open  
when my head is on my pillar

fuck you scum bag dealers
who sell that shit to youth
I despise them mother fuckers
and that's the cold ice truth

if I went back to that shit
I'd put the pride back into crime
but the bad boy choose his way
to talk the truth in rhyme

shit I ain't high no more
or scared of lawmen at my door
so anyone who walks in the shadow of death
just know the life is war


PAGE 87

THUG OF YESTERDAY

Don't step up in my face
don't think I give a fuck
when you walk alone,
no gutts to even look

You think your this and that,
the gangsters what you claim,
The thug,
the fool,
the bully,
these words all mean the same

No pride to fight alone,
no gutts to walk away,
no gutts without a tool
within my crazy day

The laws they don't mean shit
to the crooks upon my street,
were people look and see
drugs, sold to kids like sweets

These kids become the thug,
the thug becomes the fool
look in every classroom,
in every standard school

It's just a trueful insight
from a thug of yesterday,
come now feel my dream
to find a better way.


PAGE 88

TEARS RUN DOWN MY STREET

Ahead is full of fog
but the past is always clear
Mike his never gone
in my heart he's always near

The silence in my voice
while screaming in my head
Dreams attack my mind
when I lay down to my bed

Open lids in darkness
writing, like no poet
What will words create
if I ever dare to show it

Eight years, I felt so dead
but the dead man breathe, s again
Feeling so alive
in the power of my pen

Crying like a child
that inner child in me
As tears run down the street
as I walked away from Lee

As he walked towards the devil
but I could only stair
I told him, if god calls
then I could not be there

For once he had it all
I cannot watch him slip away
Lee he is a friend
for his life, to God I prey


PAGE 89


RHYMING WITH A DEAD MAN


I'm the poet with intent
that the world won't like me blunt
don't say I'm fucking shit
just know I am a cunt

if you want to hurt my life
then there will be a retaliation
I'm the dark side turned to good
but as one were gods creation

take my words and analyze
what a crazy man now says
look into my life
then feel my crazy days

like the boss up there in heaven
I'm the man who knows hell well
he never caught my fall
now the story's there to tell

maybe hell once held my life
now god hands me my ink
a mad man on a mission
with the aim to make you think

I really don't care
if you think I'm fucking great
I write with such intent
when the rest all choose to hate

for the life I've seen so cold
and the brother who has died
I write the rhymes in blood
with the dead man by my side


PAGE 90


FEELING


Feeling kinda crazy
and he don't have no pain
I walk alone in sunshine
so whys it feel like rain

the world can kiss my ass
for every time it's done me wrong
thinking of my brother
knowing he's now gone

he's the one who made me write
the one who made me feel
a moment of self pity
then back to feeling real

3 million fucking pixels
wouldn't spot the tears I drop
pain filled days of life
in death will pain then stop

needing to be loved
by the world outside my walls
needing you to catch
if the man inside me falls

I found my butterfly
who understands my soul
all the rest just saw my crazy
but the butterfly saw Paul


PAGE 91


FINDING PAUL


God has got me feeling
but the devil took my soul
as I fell and hit the bottom
now I no longer fall

Faith is all I ask
trust I'll lead the way
from the heart I write with passion
to find that better day

For Aids is killing still
as cancer kills again
for all who pass to soon
I'm not putting down my pen

For God can take my soul
but will never take my lines
free the words I write
then forever feel my rhymes

My pen was once my knife
as I tell this from the heart
I thought I was but finished
but I've just found the start


PAGE 92

YOU TELL ME WHO'S WRONG


I'll never show my weakness
but shit the once I've felt
But now I'm coming strong
to play this hand I'm dealt
Just let me be in peace
only win if somethings won
You no need condem
cos I know what I've done
I never sold no drugs to kids
but adults with a choice
Writing words of wisdom
in rhyme I found my voice
To why I write the reason
I've seen my people die
When I was just so young
they made me fucking high
I lost my place of pure
with no where left to turn
Wisdom comes with age
but the children need to learn
Cos drugs will kill the kids
For a thousand years more
So now I speak the truth
with the shepard at my door
Lets make it legal now
to take that element away
Come theres knout to fear
so teach them kids today
For I know the path I took
was one I took so blind
Now you all condem
cos I speak on what I find
The truth is there to see
for all who dare to look
Why am I so mad
cos the world don't give a fuck
So don't you call me wrong
for a child let free to sin
To say I should be shameful
when the truth is all I bring


PAGE 93


FATHER TO FATHER


Son if you fell and cut your knee
I will be there for you
I never thought I'd feel this
your love so pure and true

Your my 1 true friend in the world
no one could take your place
And when I'm sad and down
I can smile when I see your face

I've been there from the start
now I swear I will be there
I'd die today for you
too prove I'll always care

You once had that love he feels for me
to my father I love to hate
And you became my enemy
when you should of been my mate

You see it's just not me,
he needs me to
like in my past, when I needed you
But father did you care
for father you weren't there

Now's my time to show my son
A bond no one will break
To my father I've grown to hate
I won't make your same mistake


PAGE 94


A CUNT STILL SPEAKING BLUNT


Hell will frezze to ice
Before I ever stop
From tony to the pope
Paul will take his pop
I won't tell you that I'm sorry
for spitting in your face
I'm not the fucking devil
but still say fucks to grace
The politics for people
Let me stand in parliament
I hold no fucking shame
I'll speak there just as blunt
I'll call the president a cunt
For fighting over oil
and tell charlies and queen carmiler
To kiss my royal arse boil
Old fools sat judging me
Passing laws on what we do
Giving huntley human rights
But I say stone that cunt till blue
Fucking killing kids
Then gave a fancy cell
Fucks to human rights
Send that bastard straight to hell
So fucks to all of you
Fucking hitler, Bush and Blair
Shit, I bring it true
In this world thats fucking rare
For it's me who's saying this
I'm just a cunt still speaking blunt
I won't say now what I'm not
I don't need no fucking front

why is that you ask

Cos I'm a fucking cunt


PAGE 95


I NO LONGER WISH

I no longer wish to be feared
I no longer wish to cause pain
I no longer wish to be walking the streets
and for fear they remember my name

I no longer wish to do crime
or take more life from the streets
I no longer wish to see kids take drugs
for like candy they sell like sweets

I no longer wish to sell drugs
or spend my time in a cell
I no longer wish to wake in the morning
knowing I'm living Gods hell

I no longer wish to live poor
I no longer wish no more
I no longer wish to live
the life where I live no law

I no longer wish to see him
my brother on the bed
I no longer wish my mind
had a photo of him dead

I no longer wish for these tears
the ones that burn my heart
the only wish I'd make
is I could return back to the start


PAGE 96


MY PURPLE ROSE

I wake up in the mist
revealing sin's of this institution
hands held together
praying to God for some retribution

My children  sleep in peace
as the world all sleeps tonight
questioning my mind
In the lines that speak my sight

Looking at my jesus,
hanging on his cross
Then I think of he
but the lord don't give a toss

waking in wet sheets
on my mind, I've got the streets
Then I'm reaching for my headphones
to play 2pacs crazy beats

He's speaking to my brain
he's got me feeling so insane
But you only get one chance
for lifes a one way lane

Then I feel my purple rose
unexposed within this place
Then I rest back in my dream
as I float back into space


PAGE 97


A WORLD SO COLD


Father was my hero
mother was my pride
never been to jail
does that shit make me wide

comitting crimes of youth
the boy became a man
heavens far from hell
but I know who I am

every step must have a reason
the world must know my name
could my fate be written
God must feel my pain

like gods son upon his cross
they crucefied in hate
death has got me thinking
is there such a great

from hell to heaven
and a body left to rot
the great ones be remembered
while the everydays forgot

the life we leave behind
towards a future so untold
the sun will never heat
a world so very cold


PAGE 98


I DON'T REFUSE THE FACTS


I refuse to fall in silence
or leave without a trace
I refuse to let you win
or say my preys to grace

I refuse to thank the world
for all that I now own
I refuse to change my attitude
cos the world don't like my tone

I refuse to let you hurt
the heart inside of me
I refuse to just give up
cos the world don't want to see

I refuse to let him down
the boy who holds my name
I refuse to say I'm sick
or blow my candle flame

I refuse to kiss your ass
thats not what I'm about
I refuse to just agree
when the world just calls me knout

I refuse the lord in life
but know he's by my side
I refuse to let the world
know the bad boy cried

but I don't refuse my past
or try to dress it up
I don't refuse the fact
that I was once the crook


PAGE 99


PORTRAIT OF MY LOSS


Crazy is my life of rhyme
in crimes of destiny
crazy lost his head
so don't you fuck with me

I'll put you to the pavement
I'll leave you laid in blood
only god will have my answers
why am I no good

a bad boy from the birth
who lives in heavens hell
the tears on a dead mans grave
in the ink drops that I tell

a past of shallow waters
that fills my oceans tide
people never see
the child who cried inside

Mike he walked his plank
but it broke right in the middle
only god has got the answers
to life I call the riddle

so come now take tonight
to place me on his cross
for every rhyme now written
is a portrait of my loss


PAGE 100


STREET SOLDIER


I'm a solider of the street
but a man within gods will
the preacher of the life
that can hurt or even kill

people talking shit
when speaking on the drugs
don't try to say no fear
cos your low down phony thugs

inside the hustlers life
can leave you feeling lost
damn my soul got shot
and my heart still feels the cost

I've been sold out by one score
then ripped off by another
shit I’m just one sick cunt
but I've never fucked my mother

I talk with such a angry part
so the world can see the paths
the boy inside a man
will think they know street crafts

but there’s 2 sides to every coin
and the crooks life ain't knout good
cos no one missed the crook
inside carved wood


PAGE 101


DO I BARE PAULS KNIFE


Brother left to god
but who really gives a fuck
now I'm walking straight
but once I was the crook

for times of sadness loom
with flowers at his seat
the past can never heal
when passing my old street

all road leds to one
will heaven fill my end
the lord who only know's,
will Jesus be my friend

will I be remembered
in words that hold my name
lines so close to my heart
that parents felt the shame

blame was never passed along
just truth inside one's rhyme
the name for which I write
tattooed on my arm

I miss him that’s for sure
but it's time to live this life
Paul England has returned,
but do I bare his knife

do I have his crazy mind
do my balls come in his truck
I will answer that right now
I still don't give a fuck

I'm back to were I once was
my mind and head are one
but still I'm fucking crazy
cos my head was always gone


PAGE 102

YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE


Hazy days faze me out
in the life of the shadowed soul
the world refuses me
while the hustlers hope I fall

they respect me cos of fear
for they all know where I'm from
if I took my heart to crime
they'ed all call me the don

I don't respect the dealers
cos there 2 bit low life crooks
they think they really know
but there 2 bit stupid fucks

the life I know too well
in my hell of the devils cell
see I've never been knocked down
I was the one who only fell

but I speak to ease my cuts
but fuck them wounds still sting
every rhyme I've wrote
no talent but the heart I bring

so before you diss my thoughts
just look to what I've seen
you don't know me well
or where I've fucking been

I will put my thoughts in rhyme
to put my mind on show
you can dress the fucking dolls
but instead I'll tell it raw


PAGE 103

I WALKED AWAY FOR HIM


I'm the man who never cared
not until Micheal was set free
fuck you all it's me
this cunt won't cop a plea

I'm the man who sold the pot
and swapped money for my soul
I'm the cunt you love to hate
the one you hope will fall

So I tell it straight today
I've never seen no cell
but know this life is real
first hand I've seen my hell

I know the crooks of life
them ones who sell the drugs
I know the nasty cunts
the ones you call the thugs

but I don't Deny the life I've led
or refuse the wrongs I rained
but just the pure of life
left me feeling tamed

I'm the one who walked the path
then told the devil, fuck that life
I walked away from crime
and left behind my knife

but don't mistake I made my choice
I never had to leave
for I made a choice to hate
for them lost kids who's parents grieve


PAGE 104

ONE DAY


One day I long to see
a better place for you and me
One day I hope to see
a world were all are free

beyond the children's tears
away from hurtful things
a land to live so free,
were we all are kings

One day I have to leave,
my boy inside this place
I look into his face
then beg for peace to lord and grace

One day I will die
but I don't want my son to cry
I long for him to see,
and to never say good bye

to keep him safe and sound
while he makes his way back home
one day I hope,
that he never crys alone

just one day lord
to not feel so insecure
will that be the day
when I'm knocking on your door

one day in a life
were we feel a touch of more
and the richness doe's not come
from money for poor

if I had a day to live
I'd ask for just one more
but my day will come
when I will face your door

there will be my one day
when I see this world no more


PAGE 105


LIFE AND DEATH


There's only one mind,
who can tell you how I feel
I cry like any other,
I need to keep it real

A fabrication just won't do
I know I'm still a cunt
as I dig though every thought,
with a spoon that's rusty blunt

I found my richness in life,
when my son he cuddles me
I walked away from crime,
so my conscience could be free

from wrong to right,
is a cotton thin fine line
the fighting, money and fear
but nothing compairs, to my son's time

the death of my brother see
had me asking god oh why
then the birth of my son
had me reaching for the sky

strange how life and death mixed
to equal out my life
my brother helped me see
while my son put down my knife


PAGE 106


THE VOICE


you let me go alone,
on streets
a confused child
with drugs for treats

for now he's grown
he's found his voice
an eleven year old
who made his choice

a bag of smack,
a line of coke
his best friends dead
this shits no joke

he made his choice
and you will too
the words he writes
his lines too true

can you …… now,
hear his voice
a confused child,
will make his choice


PAGE 107


I'D LOVE TO CHANGE THE WORLD


I'd love to change the world
and make it safe to play
I'd love to scream so loud
that the lord above could hear

I'd love to make a dealer
dig the grave he filled
then make him face the mother
of that confused child he killed

I'd like to make it legal
and teach the young the truth
create a place for me
on top of heavens roof

I'd love to just smack Blair
and say your fucking thick
call  that bush a prick
and shout you cunts make me sick

I'd love to stop the vilonce
in the streets so cold out side
I would love to talk to the brother
who laid alone un died

I'd  love to change this place
so the kids are safe today
I'd love to have my say
so this whole wide world could hear


PAGE 108


OCEANS BLUE EYES


My meaning in this world
is so unknown to me
the world but feels so lonely
when starring out to sea
oceans filled with water
my mind is filled with you
tears fall in anger
behind ocean's eyes of blue
I don't look up to god
but he looks down at me
I sit beneath the branches's
of my perfect apple tree
I never feel the power of grace
while braced beneath the stars
I never hate my lord
for I know my demise
far beyond the place I earth
or the truth of life's emotions
my tears fall from blue eyes
to make my lonely ocean's


PAGE 109


DRUGS ARE RUNNING RIFE


the lords my only friend
I'm not shouting out for crooks
the governments just as bad
An Ignorant set of fucks

life is only cold
when walking round my way
dying by the dozen
but no one seems to hear

times are change fast
So use your lazy head
cos you'll be in the gutter
left and laid for dead

papers printing shit
while paul just writes the truth
drugs destroy the world
when touching on the youth

I said about the coke
now crystal meth is at the door
I'm the thug without no fear
Who dares to tell you more

smack was just the start
now I'm writing rich
lived it once for real
cos lifes a fucking bitch

so when you hear me here
don't you try to put me out
Just read the facts today
then tell me you still doubt

For what I say in rhymes
could see me laid there dead
But still I will not stop
cos the truth needs to be said


PAGE 110


THE DEALER AT MY DOOR


You see I rhyme by choice
the rhyme is what I feel
and everyone I write
I hope will help to heal

people love me or they hate me
for the crime I speak so free
for where there is no other
who stopped and writes like me

while life is being taken
with no voice behind my words
people fear the change
with no reason to be scared

you see I have my view
with an insight in that life
I've walked with crazy bastards
who still walk and hold there knife

but children have a choice
just too young to understand
there will be no way back
from drugs once in their hand

I was but eleven
when that choice first came to me
yes, a fool, but just a child
and yes first time it did come free

all I'm tryin’ to state
some kids they just don't know
and by time they look to realize
their the dealer at my door


PAGE 111


BELIEVE IN


Believe in the stars the moon the sky
Believe in a world thats passed you by
Believe in the night the day the rain
Believe in the sand the sun and pain
Believe in the kids the trees that grow
Believe in a man who died in war
Believe in the poor the rich then God
Believing in God just seems so odd
Believe in this place this time I see
Believe in a land were all are free


PAGE 112


FREE-WILL FOR FOOLS


Cos if money is your aim
It's time to be a cunt
Shut the fuck up fool
It's time to roll a blunt

Keep the blade real sharp
Buy a pistol then a vest
You don't rule this house
Your just gods mad guest

It's the devil and the rebel
In a thousand diffrent men
It's the rebel in my devil
Who showed me to my pen

I remember my darkest day
When Mike laid down and died
The best was Liams birth
Both days my tears cried

I no longer take to crime
I have a son to raise
A dark place his my corner
While lost inside gods maze

Cos the chioce I made was wrong
Now I'll rectify mistakes
Life is one big huslte
No time for bullshit fakes

I'd lost before I'd won
But to know now what it takes
Understand your path
Before you place yours stakes

so cold the world I've been
Now I'm back up in my rhyme
Don't you bullshit boys
You don't impress me with your crime

I've seen murder in a pub
And a man cut jokers face
Not until Mikes death
Did I ever look for grace

I'll tell the truth to you
We die, they win, we lose
But the truth is in free-will
Only you can ever choose


PAGE 113


hate me if you please
only know I hate me more
If you only knew
whats beyond life's crazy door

But passion will's me on
To know the truth will set me free
like Jesus did before
I will to make blind see

I don't fear the end
when god he sends for me
only then to see
the lord has set me free

This crazy place I face
Every time my mind will wake
I would stop this shit today
If the words was told in fake

I come from out my hell
Knowing why I write this way
whats it really matter
if I'm black or white, or even if I'm gay

ruff-less in the rhyme
heartless in my misson
I saw it in my dream
To tell my premonition

For I see like Jesus did
That the world denys in me
when I pass from hell to heaven
only then I will be free


PAGE 114


PRIDE


I can't walk away,
I wish I could

From trouble today
I'll fight for face
for pride to me,

fuck with me
I'm willing you see

for anything goes
in streets I rose,
were they carry a blade
to feel real safe,

using for fun
someones losing a son

But for what I say
IS pride the way?


PAGE 115


GOVERNMENT FOOLS


Mr Blair, Mr Blair always there,
claiming you care
about who, Mrs Cherie Blair,
your wife who doesn't even bother,
to pay her train fair

I think your unfair!
on the issues of drugs,
petrol prices and thugs
more are dying of the drugs
petrol prices are stinging the trucks
and thugs are fighting in the pubs,
and taking over all the clubs

But you just don't seem to care
well I do
how many people will you lie to
when you tell them you care
I don't know how you dare

well next year you'll be through
my people will say goodbye TO YOU


PAGE 116


LOOKING FOR MY 4 LEAFED CLOVER


mama I don't blame you
but you should of gave me hope
not let me roam so free
where the dealers gave me dope


father fucking failed
to make me just like him
a heart of melting ice
each drip for every sin


I made mistakes back there
but I never sold my soul
fucks to so called friends
who stood to watch me fall


depression took me in
after brother left his shell
do you wonder what I wish
to heavens penny well


that life could be so sweet,
like a sour little chew
and every word I wrote
that not one was even true


but the truth is they are
so I guess I just shit out
brothers always missed
and memory's amount to kn-out


for life is a funny thing
some times it fucks me over
we live, we die,
without ever finding, that 4 leafed
clover

PAGE 117


ONLY FOR MY MIND


I don't write no fancy line
I don't need to complicate
Will I be the one
who's remembered as a great
Yes I know some users
But the dealers sell that shit
I do sell knout now
My brother made me quit
For them who call me scum
but no I'm just a man
Why do I write so crazy?
Cos shit I give a dam
Wise words it will be said
that I'm ahead of time
I call it destiny
But you people call it crime
Like poets of the past
did they know they would be great?
alone for when I write
For in rhyme I meditate
I tell a story of my life
On what I've seen or done
We learn from in mistakes
So I know not what to teach my son
To sell a gram of dope
wrap it up and hand it out
For handing people death
That's what I'm not about
For today I break no law
I work I'm just like you
Number, name and all
but what I've seen, I know is true
It still goes on today
It's not stopping cos I've gone
Cos I dare to say
you people call me wrong
But don't you say before you see
Don't look then turn away
The problem in the world
There's no Wallace left today
For like he I speak for freedom
If only for the mind
The lord may show me mercy
But the world shows me no kind


PAGE 118


CONTEMPORARYS NOT MY THING


Cos I'm not like you
some people call me crazy
But fancy words, and spelling mistakes
that shit will never faze me

Some who say I'm mad
but they don't know my life
They don't have a clue
what it's like to hold pauls knife

To walk, out my front door
and have to face the beast
And any weakness shown
that beast will eat my feast

Thats just the way it is
I don't set the rules
And if you walk my gutter
then who becomes the fools?

Yes I was a crook
And dam I'll tell you straight
Set my past aside
Gods cleaning of my slate

So if you think I'm mad
then maybe you don't know
What it's really like,
really like to live no law

What I'm trying to say
not everyone can see
Contemporarys not my thing
but I'm just being me


PAGE 119


THE POOR-MAN

I am the poorman
thats why I'm shown,
No respect by the shop that I roam

It seems to me all I am shown is the door
and you know why
because I'm poor

Give me a millon
and I would be free

To come in your shops
in peace
without your staffs threats
of calling the police

You see
I maybe poor
But respect come's free
And not once
have you shown me


PAGE 120


TIME AHEAD


What I seeahead for me
Jail cell, living hellwhen I wake
you never can tell

Time ahead omorrow dead
Places seen, things I dreamof all I've seen,

Inside I scream I shoutso sick of having knout
Being poor' living war
o law with more to score

Smack heads galore

Rob the oldso cold
sell your soul in a hole

Take the pineel the thing
The ultimate sin he drug thing

In time aheadyou could be dead


PAGE 121


THE DEVILS DRUG


I'm so low
In the world we sit
No one understands
I need a hit

Burn the spoon
Pull the belt
Wait for the brown to melt

Now it's ready
You stick it in
Now let the new world begins

No money no brown
I'm coming down
Now no friends around

A creek in the floorboards
Is thee only sound
So cold, I feel I beg I kneel
Now I have to steal

So I can heal
The pain I feel
From the devils drug
There’s nothing good.


PAGE 122


IT WAS DEATH THAT MADE ME FEEL


Death may make you relise
but will never make you wise
the sun is burning bright
watered eye's upon dark skie's

poisioned by the stems of weed,
running circles in my mind
drugs un money, life and death,
becomes 1 place all intwind

dreams inside unfilled,
as withered paths are never told
shaded thoughts are shadowed,
by paths I walked of old

sirens in the city streets,
as greed powers stricken life
dreams of selfishness,
leaves me reaching for my knife

pleasures paid with paper,
from unholy fishes on my rod
tainted by the price of wealth,
keeps me shaded from my god

denying in my painful past,
will never heal my rift
privailing words of darklands,
will never feel my gift

Jesus on his crusifix,
only brought him selfless fame
while many famous come and go,
but Jesus will remain

mindless tears drop to my throat
will never help me heal
from drugs and silence
to streets of violence,

but it was death
that made me feel


PAGE 123


THE OPEN DOOR


I cannot live like this,
no more
theres no way back,
no open door

Theres no way out
I look outside, but no ones there
I look out to my world,
thinking who will care

Will God save us tonight,
will he come and show the way
will he leave me here,
please lord can I stay

I love the world today,
I no longer hold my knife
A valued place,
but no valued life

Will you tell me lord,
when it's time to go
will mike be the one,
who opens up the door?


PAGE 124


THE BASTARD


Never asked to be a bastard
But it's just the way I'm made
As time for takes the temper
The bastard starts to fade

I never asked to fight
But dealt with those who come
my brother on the bed
Asking god, what have you done

Running tears through cobbled streets
To mother on her knees
Looking up to god
Screaming please god please no please

Tell me it's not true
But I just cried the same
I put my arms around her
For I could feel her pain

We sat, the room so dark
in the silence of the night
for morning soon then came
but I could see no light

Time stood still just then
remembering seeing him there
looking into his eyes
to see that cold dead stare


PAGE 125


WHERE DO WE GO


So take me away,
to the end of days
Show me a different place,
where there's some grace,
where I can see Gods face

Then I would ask him why,
if your so powerful
how come so many die,
why do you leave us to cry
Where do we go?
I need to know,
but don't get this wrong,
I'm not ready to go, but god you know

So I ask this,
where is this place
where our bodies don't go,
our souls just glow

God where do we go.


PAGE 126


PRIDE


I can't walk away,
I wish I could

From trouble today
I'll fight for face
for pride to me,

fuck with me
I'm willing you see

for anything goes
in streets I rose,
were they carry a blade
to feel real safe,

using for fun
someones losing a son

But for what I say
IS pride the way?


PAGE 127


SO MISUNDERSTOOD


Everyone is different
We all grieve all on our own
Are we all together
Why do I feel alone

Some say I don't belong
But I think that some days too
what makes my rhymes so crazy
That the lines are always true

Like the smell of fresh red rose's
I'm different from the rest
Father taught me wrong
But I still found the zest

To stand and walk away
From all I ever knew
the drugs, the crime, the money
Now I wallow in the phew

To reach the bottom of line
For there I will be found
Falling through the past
Will the future hear my sound

Unique I speak to you
Just a man misunderstood
If I only had the chance
Then I know that I'd do good


PAGE 128


THE WORLD IS GOING WRONG


Washed out by the devil,
abanned by my soul
but then again I say,
my soul was only stole
but today I start to feel
and my soul is feeling nice
I've lost those heartless veins
that only pumped with ice
for my veins are burning hot
there's a fire in my heart
for wisdom once was said
there's no such word as can't

so let me breathe my fire
let me bring it one on one
cos mr blair will run
for tony knows he's wrong
I've been walking past the school
where there's kids stood smoking dope
but the government sit back
while the dealers hand out rope
they sit there actting deaf
while looking fucking blind
don't bother to even look
to scared of what they'll find
must the children pay with life
for our past mistakes
for once I was that kid
who believed them bullshit fakes

But I've been around that block
and seen whats going on
but it's not just on my block
this whole world is going wrong
for bombs that drop on people
but whats the fucks that do
that just make you people,
like bin laden and his crew
dictators of the world
what gives you the right?
while the rest sit on the fence
what a sorry sight
cos theres power in my people
not in a bombed out plane
so come now stand as one
don't let life die in vain


PAGE 129


LIFE AND DEATH


There's only one mind,
who can tell you how I feel
I cry like any other,
I need to keep it real

A fabrication just won't do
I know I'm still a cunt
as I dig though every thought,
with a spoon that's rusty blunt

I found my richness in life,
when my son he cuddles me
I walked away from crime,
so my conscience could be free

from wrong to right,
is a cotton thin fine line
the fighting, money and fear
but nothing compairs, to my son's time

the death of my brother see
had me asking god oh why
then the birth of my son
had me reaching for the sky

strange how life and death mixed
to equal out my life
my brother helped me see
while my son put down my knife


PAGE 130


DANGEROUS WRITER


I've got the poker face
a smile in the face of the devil
taking my self to hell
while still streaching for an higher level

dad you know I loved you
and apart of me, always will
but your like a distile gesick
for my love you only kill

drinking till your fallen
you fall and dragged me down
I only write the words
so you can understand my frown

it's hard to be so true
when i review my only past
when i write, to be truthful
is the raith of one mans task

I died and went to hell
the day micheal went away
9 year and 121 poems later
I have woken up today

I woke up every morning
never to feel my heart
father, god and life
ripped my heart apart

but now I'm standing strong
alone in the shadow of gods light
I thought a knife was dangerous
but I'm so dangerous when I write

I'm a crazy cunt for real
but people just don't see this
distile gisicks killed the brother
that I will always miss


PAGE 131


SHIT POT

Shit Pot, Shit Pot, I'm sick of,
shit pot
the burn the smell how can you tell
the ginger not green, it's orange,
and mean
giving you headache, no pleasure to smoke,
shit pot again, it must be a joke
living in hull with a docks and a port,
so why is it shit, it's hurting my throat

the thing that I ask, the thing that I know,
Hull is a town with muppets galore,
buying there shit, saving a pound,
I'm sick of SHIT POT, it's always around


PAGE 132


WHAT IF THERES NO HEAVEN


Do I need to die before I'm heard
or kill to get respect
Should I be so ruffless,
in a world you can't protect

Will I be remembered,
as a poet in this place
Will you remember me'
this man without no face

Will God be there to meet
will he show me more
What if there's no heaven
with God stood at the door

Life is so damn crazy
no living soul can see,
If there is an heaven,
or a place up there for me.


PAGE 133


MY MOTHER


My mother to me, is all she can be
She loves me, no matter what,
A mothers love i have got
Shes always there when i'm down
Shes like the sun shining through a cloud
Shes there when i'm sad through my good
times and bad
So i just want to say thanks for the love
you give i cherish
Always and forever i love you
My mother i do


PAGE 134


A FATHERS SHINING STAR


The day will one day come
when I wake in heavens plam
son please don't be sad
when the lord he ends my time

I wrote rhymes to speak my love
to you my boy, I will love forever
you will remain in my thoughts
to forget you, will I never

no matter where I go to
you will always feel my soul
when you stand a man
then in heaven I'll stand tall

no one will ever hurt you
for I will kill anyone who trys
I would always be your dad
I will never tell you lies

son please dry your eyes
for your father I will always be
there will never be another
who will mean this much to me

for your dad loves you forever
no matter near or far
son you light my heart
for my son's my shining star


THE END