Wandering amongst many thoughts and dreams
An emotional fate's been cast
Of wisdoms from our past
These feelings that linger within my mind
To find ways in which to cope
I find myself in prayer for hope
Of wisdoms from our past
To bring a gift for a new generation
To carry forth, nature's presentation
I find myself in prayer for hope
That there be no more destruction
And end this earthly corruption
To carry forth, nature's presentation
These feelings that linger within my mind
Wandering through many thoughts and dreams
We are but a ripple in time
And end this earthly corruption
A task served to one and all
That the mother of nature never fall
Be one with all creation divine
Stand tall of who we are
To carry this globe so very far
That the mother of nature never fall
We must each do our part
To serve love from within our heart
To carry this globe so very far
Generating new creation
Aware of the things we've done
To serve love from within our heart
Be one with all creation divine
And end this earthly corruption
To make a new ripple in time
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Aware of things we’ve done
Create for want of love for all
A home both proud and tall
To make a new ripple in time
Creating a path still to come
To repair the harm that we’ve done
A home both proud and tall
A beauty that shines from the core
An anchor no matter the shore
To repair the harm that we’ve done
Heal for no gain except love
Soar with the eagles above
An anchor no matter what the shore
To make a new ripple in time
Aware of the things that we’ve done
Creations embrace must be climbed
(This last part was added by WarrioroftheHeart, who has been writing in the ripple form as well.)
Author notes
I hope this one is a little better, a message of hope and a reminder that the earth does not belong to us, but is indeed borrowed from all future generations. And that if we don't stop and look around, those generations won't have anything left to admire.
G, H
Written September 18th, 2006
In a list
- Cups of Green • next in list
- Dreams and Thoughts • next in list
- The Voice of Nature • next in list
- Ripple Poetry • next in list
- Cups of Gold • next in list
A contest entry
- Gold Winning Nature Poems- by Crystal Chanda Lear.
600 points, ended August 22, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Lovely.
I like the rhyme scheme. I believe that it wasn't forced at all, and it really flowed with the whole poem.
To make a new ripple in time
Creating a path still to come
To repair the harm that we’ve done
This stanza is so powerful and compelling. I can see the imagery leak out of it! Fantastic job and congrats on the spotlight!
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Good
Greetings.
The emotional significance of poetry, sometimes verging on sentimentality, reminds me of the insouciant nature of daily life. It just seems that the only ones who are smiling are those who have no money and free time! Indeed, "man is the only kind of varmint that sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it (John Steinbeck)." Perhaps Mark Twain phrased it best when he defined man as "...a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired."
The effect of this is strongest in L43/44:
"To repair the harm that we’ve done
Heal for no gain except love"
The language is not flowery, archaic, or cliché; and has elicited an emotional response. In my opinion, however, the rhyme here needs smoother transitions and continuity. How about prose? Other than that, you spoke from the heart and thats all that really matters.
Thanks for sharing with us
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Thank you, appreciate the comments.
The rhyme is a bit akward at times, but smoothness is a bit more difficult to read, as there is no meter whatsoever to this style of poetry. I don't always believe in metered writing, but moreso what comes from the heart...and indeed this did!
Storm
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Oh, this is a very stirring, serious piece of work, speaking so deeply on the need for man to become a proper care taker of the world he lives in the spirit that keeps us all alive. I wish I could deliver a message to so well.
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Thanks hun, apprecaite your reading and commenting.
Storm
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really gets your message out there..we need to quit thinking about ourselves and focus on our planet..if we don't take care of it we are damned...and the ripple is a beautiful form of poetry..thanx so much for sharing this wonderful write..and CONGRATS on the HM...very much deserved..blessings..namaste..
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Thank you so much. Truly appreciate your time and comemnts.
Storm
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Wow...I just looked at this in the spotlight...I really liked this poem...you call this ripple form? Repeating the ending line from two stanzas before...I'm intrigued...if you have time...could you please message me the specifics of this form and send them to me...I'd like to give this form a whirl for myself. I'm getting tired of standard form...This poem blew me away. I wrote a similar poem entitled black rain and it was in no way a match to this, great write...and keep on writing...I want to see more of this ripple form,
Enjoyed the read
Justin
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Thank you Justin, appreciate your comments.
These 2 links are pieces I wrote explaining the ripple.
http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2169785
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3105654
And if you wish to see more examples, be sure to check out the link 'ripple poetry' above. I have others posted there that may help understand it better.
Storm
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Powerful
Wow. This is very nice. I hope that all people realize that Earth is not invincible and that each and every one of us needs to help clean up and protect our Earth so that the next "ripples in time" may continue the journey. Great write! -
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Thank you for your much appreciated comment. Hopefully, one day this write will serve it's purpose.
Storm
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A wonderfully realized ripple poem that was a real pleasure to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for sharing this marvelous poem.
David
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Thank you for your comments. The title came from a contest, a name that was given to someone and the words just sort of flowed from here. Appreciate your reading.
Storm -
I liked the use of rhyme here. This was a good poem, it was honest yet it was also hopeful. I liked the description that was used. This was a really well written nature poem which, unlike a lot of rhyming, nature poems wasn't cliché. I liked the political element of global warming as although you didn't directly use the words or push the message too strongly it shone through and made this seem a more modern work
All the best
Pozo
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Storm, I'm going to remove this one from the contest and close it to prewrites, run it like a new contest properly ok? I'm sorry to do this as I do think this was worthy of an award. But the rules have changed and nothing is going to be achieved by being outright thrown out over it, especially when it means this message is not out there to be seen.
I know you understand
Adrian
[Feel free to remove this comment as it is just a notification message] -
Ummm, thank you.
Storm -
Thank you for the much appreciated comment.
Storm -
wow. A really lovely poem, with an important message!
I really like the rhyming scheme, and it reads so nicely.
The background really fits well!
Webber
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Umm, no, I got this from my head and heart based on my faith as a Pagan, using the title from somone else in a contest.
Storm -
Okay!
You got this off a book, didn't you? Because I saw something like this in a book... unless it was you who put it in a book. If it is, then I give you a bunch of stars!!! -
Thank you for the kind comments, much appreciated.
Storm -
ace
your poem is ace. as u can tell from my name i am a bit of a hippy myself and i realy enjoied reading ur poem it puts everything in prospective xxx -
Thank you for your much appreciated comment.
Storm -
Wow...that's deep. Amazingly inspiring though. Beautiful, beautiful words. Keep up the good work.
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Thank you for the comment, appreciate it. I'm thinking it might go over well at the next pow-wow too.
Storm -
its the perfect prayer for peace! would have been great for earth dance! wow lots of respect going your way!
~failing~ -
Thank you for commenting, much appreciated.
Storm -
Thank you, your comments are much appreciated.
Storm -
Thank you for the comment, appreciate it.
Storm -
dtorm, being an original enviromenally conscious person, I enjoyed this very much. I believe the world should Germany's example of enviromental policies, that are the world leaders. BUt, truth be told, that is part of the reason their economy is so bad. but we must find moderation in what we do, or we will reap the blessing of labors. Image and Visions
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That was an absoulutely beautiful and I will be reading this again.
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hey oh my god this poem is deep
keep writeing
Edited on Sep 20, 12:13 because ''. -
Thank you grannyeri, appreciate your comments. The ripple is a form I mistakenly created. I was never one to repeat myself in a poem, and one day a poem just came out. After a bit of time and talking with some poets, I labeled my poem a ripple. Here is the column I wrote explaining it.
allpoetry.com/Column/2169785
Storm -
Thanks for the comment hun, appreciate it.
Storm -
Thank you so very much for your comment, I appreciate it.
Storm -
Thank you very much. I truly appreciate your wonderful comment.
Storm -
Thank you very much, your comment is appreciated. (And agreed with)
Storm -
Thank you for the comments, much appreciated. It is written in form I created and call a ripple, thenI doubled it. And then I added someone else's ripple to the bottom, lol.
Storm -
Thank you for the comment.
Storm -
Thank you for the comment. I do understand your point. But being a Pagan and defender of nature, I have to hold out hope.
Storm -
And since when does it all have to be in meter?
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Thank you for your comment, much appreciated.
Storm -
Interesting background you chose for this poem - fits in so nicely with the earth theme, Wonder what you mkean by ripple form? Much wisdom shared in these lines.
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WOW Beautifully done. A very poignant piece. Good luck to you in the contest!
~carol -
I liked everything about this piece. It is simply written but conveys volumes.
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Absolute MUST read!!!!
WOW, I am speachless, this is one of those pieces that need to be on everything Billbords to Greenpeace vessels, I truly don't know what to say there are so many things going through my head that you have evoked, love things that make me think! I stand and bow whilst applauding loudly!!!!! -
a universal message with a spiritual touch and worldly advice.i think everybody should imbibe these things into their heart and life.the smooth flow of words with the rhyme is appreciated
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This is beautiful. I loved this bit:
"Be one with all creation divine
Stand tall of who we are
To carry this globe so very far"
The whole thing was beautiful but this stanza carried it home.
Interesting timing and rhyme pattern...
very different.
Great Write,
rah -
VERY NICE PIECE !
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Hi, the thoughts are lovely, but man since he was put on this earth has been avid and covets everything that is not his, I for one will not be holding my breath that he will change for the better. He seems to get worse by the day, well I guess we can still dream of a better world, a lovely poem, hugs Di
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needs work
What ever happened to meter? -
This is such a deeply meaninful sentiment. The earth is ours only for the safekeeping to hand down to many generations to come. I firmly believe that if we don't all take heed of this powerful thought, that we won't have anything left for them here. Our present generation is experiencing only a small amount of the consequenses for the damage done. We are all children of this amazing orbitting ball of life, and we should do all that we possibly can to take care of our Mother.
Graet write!
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This is very true. Thank you for the comments,much appreciated.
Storm -
very nice. I kinda like it. it is very earthy. I know the earth does not belong to us as should we all know this. She is our master not the other way around. we are ticks to her. and we are killing her that is why she is becoming rougher with us.
nicely written good luck -
Thank you sweetie. I appreciate your comment. Glad you enjoyed this.
Storm -
Awesome as hell
Damn this is so freakign deep. And so very true. Damn, hun. This has got to be one of your very best. Bookmarked.
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Thank you for the comment, much appreciated.
Storm -
LOL, yes I did. Afterall you have to judge this. Thanks hun.
Storm -
Thank you for your much appreciated comment.
Storm -
Thank you for the comments, much appreciated.
Storm -
Thanks for the comments, much appreciated.
Storm -
Awesome
Goddess, Beautifully written. How do we as writers get our message out to the world? Poets and artists have been lamenting our lack of respect for nature for centuries. I am constantly tormented on how to do this. Does not mean we should quit but how do we make more of an impact/
Keep up the fantastic work. I felt you broke this perfectly with your stanzas.
Pure Thought -
and you're asking me if its good enough?
[I wrote more in here for some reason thought I'd better im it instead]
(I will post it here later if you want me to)
some of the comments are amazing
I always thought that the end of a line indicated puntuation in a poem, like an invisible comma? A breath? (sorry that comment caught my eye)
Still a brilliant message that should definately be shared with everyone
Adrian
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This is so beautiful. I am glad people share the opinion that we should be keeping the earth safe for future generations! If only everyone felt this way. I love how you show that Mother Nature does not belong to us. Good write.
Chelsea Rain
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That was a really great poem. I really loved it. You've got talent. Keep on writing. God Bless!
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Well done
Wow, what a profound and well thought out poem. You did a marvellous job in penning this one and it surely gets my vote. Best of luck in the contest. -
Thank you very much, appreciate it.
Storm -
Thank you for your comments, much appreciated.
Storm -
Thank you for the comment. I don't use end line puntuation in most poems. And as for stanzas it is already in the, this is a form I created to write in.
Storm -
Thank you hun, your comment is much appreciated.
Storm -
Excellent work! You have the gift of true poetry! Your imagary is wonderful and deep!
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inspirational prose
What beautiful words and wishes for the world, we sure do need them. This piece, touches my heart since we seem to be at odds with the big sand lot overseas. I hope this all ends soon. well written, so write ON!.........ennovy
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Wonderfully written. My advice about punctuation...if you aren't going to use it just be consistent...and if you are going to throw it to the wind I think it would be best to organize your work into stanzas. That is just my two cents for what it is worth. You did a wonderful job with the imagery and the emotion of the piece and that is what counts. Write on, poet.
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i always love reading your poetry.
it always touches my soul
you my friend are my favorite.
big hugs -
Sorry, I very rarely use punctuation in poems. Never have, but thanks for the commenst anyway.
Storm -
I found this a very sweet poem. The lack of punctuation annoyed me, but the words are very sweet, well-formed, and the flow is good. I enjoyed the message in this, and the background is simply stunning. Wonderful work, my favourite poem by you so far.
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Thank you very much for your comment, I greatly appreciate it.
Storm -
Thank you, much appreciated.
Storm -
Thank you for your much appreciated comment.
Storm -
Excellente
Bravo -
Excellent
Well, I will keep my comments "brief
" I LOVED.... The entire, write, however, fav. part To carry forth, nature's presentation
These feelings that linger within my mind
Wandering through many thoughts and dreams
We are but a ripple in time
Great format, great flow...like butta' on the tounge and.... what wonderful word and thought selection. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. ~Tia
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excellent
Wonderful write, and such a great reminder that this planet is ours to borrow not to abuse, I do so agree we all need to step back and see what we are leaving for the next generation. There are alot of good programs in place already but it takes all to care and do our part. -
Wow, that was one heck of a comment. I'm not sure how it all got turned around to a political thing, but you made a lot of valid points in it. So thank you for your comment, much appreciated.
Storm -
Thank you so much for your much appreciated comment.
Storm -
Something certainly needs to happen before it's too late. I'm afraid we've become a self-serving, selfish, uncaring people who are so caught up in our own desires and wants to even think about what is happening in our world today. We are so busy trying to keep up with or even surpass the Jones or next door neighbors or friends or relatives that we don't take the time to learn and know what's going on in our children and grandchildre's lives or how we might steer them in the right direction. How about our men and women dying in a war, serving their country, do we think of them, take time to say a prayer for them that they might come home safe, that their families might be joyfully reunited. How about our government leaders as a whole, city, county, state, nation, all leaders, are we in tune with what is going on with them. In our local elections we've heard all say they have a plan for health care, for schools, for economic situations, how to make them better. They all have a plan but I haven't yet heard what the plan is. All we've heard is each candidate stand up in debates. and put in print whereever they can just how dishonest the other candidate is. Then when the voting is over the loser goes on to say he or she will support the winner while in office. My question is, support them in what? They've accused them of cheating, lieing, stealing, etc. So which of these vices will they be supporting? Maybe all? Meanwhile our problems with our communities. our cities, states and nation continue to grow, while everybody sits back and says I have a plan. The future of our children depend on what we do today to correct the wrong we have done. I heard on tv the other night how so many of our children with learning disabilities will drop out of school, become unwed parents, living on welfare, addicted to drugs and in trouble with the law. These are not kids with mental conditions like retardation. These are kids who with the right teachers, trained to work with their needs, can learn and be able to hold their heads up and be proud of who they've become. Now I don't know about all schools, but some I know of don't have the proper classes for these kids. They just put them in a class with what they call the slower kids and they are lost, confused, feel rejected, and I'm afraid sometimes stupid because they can't keep up. This is a pet peeve of mine as I have a granddaughter who has faced this problem from the beginning of her going to school. While there is professional help for these kids, do you know how much that costs for parents who are already struggling to make ends meet? Our schools should meet the needs of these kids the same way they do the mentally challenged, the deaf and the blind. I worked as a volunteer at a school who worked with these kids and did a great job. Why can't those with learning disabilities have the same chance? Our children are the future of this country and I believe we should invest in their education in every way possible. Why can't there be programs that will enhance their learning in areas that appeal to them? Instead they are not allowed to participate in those areas that might be of interest to them in later life when it's time for them to go out into the world as young adults and make their own way because their grades are not good enough. Why are their grades not good enough? Because our schools are not equipped to handle their problem. But everybody has a plan.
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Amazing
stoem I very seldom agree completely with any thing I see hear or read.but this is so realistic and you leave nothing to the imagination. as to what we have done to this place we call home. And you are so right we have so little time to make just a small ripple in our time that can create a new area of Love Peace and understanding. and Nature returns to it creators form.
This is not just a Poem this is a timely piece of art that should stirr the hearts of all who read it.
Thank you for sharing this with us.Good Luck and God Bless.
Arlie.
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Thank you kindly for the comment and applaud, appreciate it.
Storm -
Thank you very much, appreciate your comments.
Storm -
Thank you for your much appreciated comments.
Storm -
Thank you for your much appreciated comments. It's a form I created that I called a ripple because of the rippling effect of repeats.
Storm -
Thank you for your comment, much appreciated.
Storm -
this is beautifully written...straight from the heart. your talent with the written word just shines in this poem. i will simply applaud
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I applaud you sincerely
Wonderful really a great write your flow of your words and the style so wonderful. I enjoyed it very much I love these verses.
"To carry forth, nature's presentation
These feelings that linger within my mind
Wandering through many thoughts and dreams
We are but a ripple in time" -
Interesting piece. created with great mastery. Iloved it.
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