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Flower

Picture of a Sammy Russel Hemerocallis Daylily.
drops of water
on your petals
reflect my face
in your shining
surface

I see a lot of me
in the opened layers
of you, oh precious
flower bud

fed by light and
blissful warmth
touched by rain
another petal
opens and unfolds

More and stronger
thou reflect my soul
and the more it breaks
light into my eyes
the deeper it touches

But now I've seen
so many petals
and became used to
their soothing presence

yet night falls
and petals slowly close
and form a familiar shell
around that blessed bud

I reach out gently
afraid I would break
the bud of its stem
and have it fall deep
into a salty sea

yet hope to
gently stroke
but as I come close
a petal from the side
closes as sudden
as it once opened

I am left to wonder
ponder if it is worth
touching the petals
to open the bud

to hope the reflection
lives and sustains
and risk the painful possibility
of the petals closing
never to shine out again
or the bud breaking
to be held nevermore.

Author notes

It doesn't follow any scheme or structure, but is just an expression of worries and emotions.

First version was written late at night, from bed, on my mobile phone around 4am on the 13th of September 2006, and was originally called ~My Flower~.
First re-write was done around 2am on the 14th of September 2006 on the pc.
Second (and current) re-write was done around 21.30 on the 17th of September 2006.
Dedicated poem.

The background image and poem header image used, are my own. Created from a photograph I took from a 'Sammy Russel' Hemerocallis Day Lily that was blossoming in our garden.
Written September 17th, 2006

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • FiXato
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is dedicated to Siiw


  • Shadows of wolves
    March 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I see a lot of me
    in the opened layers
    of you"

    I really lioke the use of an inanimate to express that of another person here, it adds a layer of both introspecftive wonderment as well as a good surface image.

    much enoyed your piece as a whole.

    Pen on

    Shadows


  • kelix
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very emotive piece, filled with fantastic metaphores.
    A very nice write.


  • Tirrell
    September 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful verse!!!!!

    I love your meter and your thought, it flows very easily from your mind to your pen, The images you convey are very fine upon reflection. is a very charming poem of worthy merit.--Robert


  • My Solitude
    September 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is really creative. I like the way u describe the beauty of flowersand somehow draw a connection to yourself. Keep writing, u r a huge success.

  • FiXato
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I agree with you sm00th 1ne that it could be more beautiful then. However, it would not show the full picture of what the poem is trying to draw.
    What comes after the 'But..' is part of the worries that counter the blissfulness (and perhaps making it even more blissful in the end, since without negativity there isn't positivity..)

    Thank you very much for your insights and supportive comment


  • individuality gold member
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    a nice light piece of poetry which you have written here, an enjoyable poem, good flow to it. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...


  • Arrianna MacEwan
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awe, what a nice flowy piece, the perfect picture painted, i loved how it flowed, so simple, yet so full of vibrance. great write

  • wat2do
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    100/100

    you never know what life will be like. keep up the GREAT work!


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual in a way, so metaphoric as well, I think. Easy to read, sentiments well expressed in these lines.

1 - 10 of 10