I guess one could call me a lyricist,
trying my best
to educate on the sly
while involved in verbal entertainment;
subtly dropping to a comprehensive level
so messages aren't missed
by those who can't comprehend
my normal intellectual shhh...
oops... almost slipped,
and that's not allowed,
'cause verbal warriors are equiped
to observe, adjust and adapt,
leaving spiritual truths
within entertainment traps,
designed to slap the sleep
from otherwise closed third eyes.
But know this...
if my message is missed
I am an army of one
in the conscience of many
and while you're ducking my sword
the back of your head is bleeding
from covertly planted information,
forcing your cerebellum to increase
with the required seed
for self-perpetual education,
killing ignorance like the parasitic weed
it so clearly has become,
'till none think the same as when I came
and you still don't know where that's from.
The poetic soldiers are many...
and we... are an army of
one.
Selah!
_________________________
© Copyright John M. Swails 2006
"And he hath made my mouth like a sharp sword; in the shadow of his hand hath he hid me, and made me a polished shaft; in his quiver hath he hid me" Isaiah 49:2
Author notes
Written September 17th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything Contest (Prewrites Allowed) by verses on flesh.
400 points, ended November 16, 2006, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes & Fresh Writes Welcome Here! by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended January 17, 2008, 65 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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Yes dear friend we are an army of one. This has a passion within that captivates me as all of your work does. There is so much that poets have to say because I believe to be a poet you have to have knowledge and insight on the subject you're gonna write about. How else could you write about. But the knowledge without the passion and love for the subject is nothing. Clearly you have obtained both of these things. If I werent 19 and you weren't married you'd be my husband because some of the things you write draw me to your spirit immediately letting me know that you are not only a brother of Christ/ son of God but an awesome and powerful person in the Lord. God Bless
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I don't know where to begin. Thank you for your wonderful an humbling comments. I guess all I can say is that I will try to maintain my obedience to GOD so that you can continue to find HIM in my work.
One Love and God Bless to you too,
John
PS - I'll send myself back in time and introduce myself to you. I am sure the circles I would frequent would have an abundant selection of men of same caliber. Surely, a faithful GOD rewards a woman who diligently seeks HIM and you, my dear, are diligent. I consider it a present honor to call you friend and friendship is the most precious part of any relationship.
One Love,
John
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Very well done. Bravo
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Thank you and thank you for stopping by. I don't get to many impromptu guests so your comment is greatly appreciated. I will do my best to return the favor.
One Love,
John
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"I am an army of one" and "The poetic soldiers are many" contrast each other....I think. Did I interpret this correctly?
*gulp* Spoken word is a lot harder than I thought... -
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Well... no EA. You mis-quoted but I think the real confusion started because you missed an earlier line:
"I am an army of one
in the conscience of many"
The idea being two fold.
1. When I speak my message is multiplied by the number of people who hear it (assuming I cause them to think)
2. My message is not unique to me but is held by several other poets who are also spreading it.
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ya know I really liked this and it's going into the finalist's list. I hope it makes it through
thank you for entering and good luck
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Thanks. it's one of many styles.
Don't forget to place your entry in the Black History Month 2008 contest.
I believe I sent you an invite but if not, consider yourself invited.
One Love,
John
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very beautiful
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Spectacular
This was very beautiful. The piece seemed to flow freely like a butterfly in a gentle breeze. It is true that eventhough we may win a fight, there is always a chance of losing more than it was worth.
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Beautiful
Very intellectual well thought piece you've written here. It's a very well written piece with flawless flow. Very interesting and different poem. I love it. Good Luck in the contest. Take Care & God Bless! -
Interesting
A bit of an attitude towards the people you are 'educating', but I suppose a teacher feels a certain condescention towards the novice. And yes, a teacher does need a certain flair for showmanship, or no one is paying attention anyway Thought provoking and satirical. Best wishes in the competition.
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Wow! I felt like I was at a rap concert. Which sucks. But maybe there was some siginificance imbued which I wouldn't have recognized. Y'know, until I found the blood. I think you really did a good job of writing this. I don't know if you did what you were provcaiming to. But that's okay. It's still a good piece.
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Fine
You wrote a very good poem, but the words you've chosen weren't so wise, you should work on your words choosing but it's a beautiful poem worths reading, bye bye.
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Not enough info. Please elaborate.
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Profound, and very cleverly written...The sword (the pen) as always hits the mark,in invading the thoughts and intents of ones' heart and soul. Our motives and thoughts are revealed .The poetic warrior skillfully wields his sword(the pen) to invade the thoughts and conscience of the reader. And as he says there be more than him to do so...He is a master in this skill,and many of us need to learn from him, to provoke change, to engage the mind in needed thought that brings change in the heart...Bravo!
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I really enjoyed reading the poem. I message was very well brought. I really enjoyed the language, flow and style of this write. The beginning and ending of this poem are my favorite parts. Beautiful job. Keep it up. <33
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Inspiring
this is a really clever write, inspiring I'd say, the images are so rich and vibrant, I liked it a lot. -
Nice Piece,It's pretty Compelling i like the wording you had thanks for sharing
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great job!you did god on this poem!I would give it a 10 out of 10!keep up the great work and never give!try your best!
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Wonderful
This is an excellent piece filled with deep captivating thoughts, loved the rhythm and flow. Great write from start to finish! Bunny
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very interesting. i dont much like the form you used, but thats just a slight on my part not yours. i do like the message. we poets are warriors in some sence. i also like how you encorporated (sp?) the classic line "army of one" into your poem. traditionaly peots are looked ona s "lovers not fighters" but you make a nice medium in this one. well done and I love the Bible Passage.
Good Write and God Bless
Pastoral Poet
Ben B. -
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Thank you so much for your comments. They are greatly appreciated. I will point out that poets have been the supporters and often initiators of many a revolution. Some great examples came be found during the French and German revolutions and during numerous skirmishes in England, Ireland, and Scotland, just to name a few.
The poetic voice and music seem to always rise under attempted surpression, almost as if they ooze out from the squeezed, and oppressed people.
As for the form, it is called Spoken Word and it has a much larger impact when it is performed rather than read. I am looking for an affordable way to set this up over the internet but thus far I can't find ability and security within my budget.
Thanks again for the comments,
John
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This reads so amazingly outloud. It has a very unique contemporary and fun flow to it. I haven't read much of your work prior to this one, but I am definitly going to have to pay more attention from now on.
jamie -
Awesome write. You have captured a true poets spirit very well
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WOW!!!
Wow!!! All day I've been looking for a poem that really blew me away and I finally found it! Great job!!! I see a winner here
-Tim -
glad
Well done my dear Unmeritted Favor!
Awesome analysis and words placed nicely.
I try to write to encourage others.
I truly believe that it never costs you a thing to say a kind word to another,
but an unkind word may cost you more than you will ever know!
Our emotions help us communicate with others.
Our facial expressions, for example, can convey a wide range of emotions.
If we look sad or hurt, we are signalling to others that we need their help.
If we are verbally skilled we will be able to express more of our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling them.
If we are effective at listening to the emotional troubles of others,
we are better able to help them feel understood, important and cared about.
cya ...subbu
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excellent
You are creative and expressive with verbage and this gives me insight as an amateur of what someone with skill must feel. Your piece intrigued me and I enjoyed the read, well twice!
Keep penning, you are certainly a talent! ~Tia -
Deep
This was very deep and yes I agree with the above comments. It does hold a strong message. Good job and the best of luck to u in the contest!
Kari -
I will agree again with your strong message. Rough and sweet at the same time, poetry indeed.
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John,
this was very good, you have painted a very good picture.
Jim -
Yes it is my fellow warrior.
John
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I wondered if you'd see this. It's beautiful isn't it?
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incredible!
That was amazing!
If this is what it feels to be gored by a poetic warrior, I applaud the intent! What a terrific idea and the way you chose to execute it was brilliant.
Thank you for sharing this with me, and best of luck in the sontest, though I doubt you will need it.
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awesome
Thanks for having me read this.. It was a little tricky at the start but then I undestood.. We all must adjust and adaptas time goes on. Human nature to learn and adapt, so true is this.. The whole piece was actually brilliant in my opinion, well done. My favorite part was " while you're ducking my sword
the back of your head is bleeding from covertly planted information, forcing your cerebellum to increase with the required seed for self-perpetual education," So well written. Mad props friend.
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*SPEAK TRUTH ALWAYS!*
"'cause verbal warriors are required
to observe, adjust and adapt,
leaving spiritual truths
within entertainment traps,
designed to slap the sleep
from otherwise closed third eyes."
Now see... these line speak very clearly in my psyche. My "third eye" is open even when I am in slumber. LOL I wonder how many will really digest these lines? In part I was banned from this site once for encouraging a "word revolution". LOL I was angry for a time. I finally came to know that "words" are the initiators for war and peace. The lines I've highlighted scream in my ears. LOVED THEM!
I am in the very same army my friend. Let it be known that nothing, not a thing, no one... can or will stop the "message". Keep spreading the WORD love. YOU are in good company!
BRILLIANT!
Much Love & Many Blessings ♥
Renee
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John,
quite the thinker, this very deep and full of analogies, and I would dare say thoughts many poets have had, in just that form. As my ex used to say, "why can't you just say I'm beautiful." Word choice and usage is everything, you have done very well. -
LOL Well done friend. I loved it.
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most excellent write!!!!!
this is super fantastic! I really like this part:"while you're ducking my sword the back of your head is bleeding from covertly planted information, forcing your cerebellum to increase with the required seed for self-perpetual education" what a strong message!
you definitely have a great talent so keep the ink flowing!
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WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was great! I loved it this is a really interesting piece God Bless you!
Stuner/Lady Damaris
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Beautiful Verse!!
Wow! My Friend I sense the power
in this delivery from beginning
to the end
The verse You speak-
I hear and hope others inhale the words
and feel the words Touch their Heart.
So much Healing-Love can be given and shared
with the Mighty Warrior!
Thank You for the honor
Best wishes in the contest John!
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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What's 'kakammu' mean?
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Thanks Spring. Selah means "pause and think about it"
thanks for the read and feed.
Peace,
John
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Astonishing
This is amazing. At first I was reading through it and the lines were there but weren't fitting together in my mind as I felt they should but suddenly I got to the end and in one moment everything click perfectly. It is not only well written but well felt. =]
-Kristin x<3x -
Lmao. Selah, huh? Sweet reference.
You PREACH it, man, preach it. -
Adjust and adapt? what a ludicrous ideas! I like this, its very well written and the message is strong, although, I don’t believe anyone should change for anyone else. Good luck in the contest!
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this is a rant or perhaps a slam poem. The message is clear and well delivered. The wording pushing the edge of the erudite languange and metaphor but not beyond of the knowledge of the group you are ragging on. There is a nice sense of tease and one up manship that verges on a brag and dare. Enertaining read. Tom B.
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WOW!!!!! griping , compelling and wonderful..that was great , i see you love to engage in verbal warfare ,i too enjoy doing the same ..i have to say here well done !!
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x ceptional !
Awesome John... The message has a clear ring of truth in it.
There was a quote I just read from an old movie how if you tell people the truth they shoot the messenger unless... You make them laugh as it's being told..
I remember where I saw it now. A british movie called CSA about what the world would be like if the south had won the war. Very controversial, but strong satement about racism in America. If you get a chance check it out... It talks about the REAL issues of the civel war as all war. More about money than freedom.
Write ON bro!!! GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST
Edited on Sep 17, 9:19 because ''. -
Thank you melodies.
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So really fine! Like it a lot, I do!
Fine ideas here.
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