I love you!
I want to scream it, in the classroom, in the streets, the way I scream it in my mind.
A friend is the farthest from what I want. I want not camaraderie, but passion. I want not your friendship, but your love. I want you.
Sure, I let on like a don't care. You don't see when I stare with longing, I made sure of that. You don't hear when I sing praises of your handsome face, or beautiful smile, I wouldn't allow it.
I don't want you to know, for fear of losing all semblance of love, of the affection you may or may not have of me.
I'm hard to approach, I know that, although I wish it were not so.
I'm Julia, you can't love me...why that's unheard of!
What would the others say...OH my what would they think, surely they would not approve.
I pretend not to care about the things you've said to me. It makes you want to talk longer. I stay as far away as I can without dying from the desolation.
Every day, I don this mask of a friend, and nothing more. Every day I see you, and am forced to keep up this charade, that eats me up inside. I wish to scream to you, that I don't want your friendship, or the occasional attention given to said people. I want your love! I wish to be the only one to receive the affection. I wish I could scream it to you, as loud as my voice could carry, but alas, a friend I shall stay, for fear of losing you.
Author notes
This is part one, before I ever told him I liked him, or asked him to homecoming, with a nice no, Or was ever shunned at the homecoming, forced to watch him grind w/ girls that weren't me, though I'm not sure if I would've wanted to myself.
p.s. please don't be offended, but you do know what grinding is right, if not it's when you're dancing and like gyrating on other people, it's not something I've ever done...but watching the guy that you could possibly be in love with...{blech} Gyrating on other girls is sickening, and on many an occasion that night I had to run off to the bathroom, it was horrendous.
p.p.s. I suppose if this is necasary for you to see the three parts of the trilogy, then thats not good. But I believe it will help in your understanding of the trilogy.
As I've said this poem was written before I told him I liked him, and before I even decided I would make it known to him that my feelings went beyond friendship. This was a time when I still had a hope that my feelings were returned.
Written September 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Trilogy time by Wanabat.
500 points, ended October 27, 2006, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me smile and believe! by DenversLostSoul.
425 points, ended March 7, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love please no hate by lustfulviolets.
300 points, ended May 16, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Well written
Like your poem alot. It has great feeling and read very well. Nice Job.
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Awesome
This is an awesome piece. It's not only beautiful, but clearly heartfelt. It calls out to the reader, carrying so much hidden emotion now revealed...
Great job! -
Lord do I love a GOOD ramble! Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Wow this is really good poem, The emotions are very well thought out of and described. Something i can relate to in years past. This is an excellent poem your thoughts on this subject was very nicely put, you didn't seem to stumble with the words while trying to portray your feelings either, that's another good thing about it.
Nicely done.
Good Luck in my contest!
~Kitara~
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