He calls in his usual order
every Friday at noon-thirty
with the same flat tone of voice
that tells me he’s still sitting
in his motel room
dressed in Wednesday’s suit
and Monday’s stubble.
He has Internet coupons again
and complains about how
we are one of the only pizza joints
in town that hasn’t started
taking orders online
and I notice my mouth moving
silently speaking along with him
because he rants about the same thing
every week - verbatim.
When he finally orders
his “small thin Hawaiian”
and “large thick Italian”
I have to bite my tongue
to keep myself from asking him
if he’s ordering pizzas or
mail order brides.
Knowing full well
he’s been living in that motel room
with green neon lights
flashing dyslexic beer
advertisements across
his untouched bedspread
endlessly searching for closure
while posing
as a 14 year old girl
in internet chatrooms
LOLing like a schoolgirl
in hopes of finding
the demented son of a bitch
that stole his precious baby
from him 2 years ago.
He hangs up on my promise
to be there in 30 minutes or less
because my voice reminds him
of her
and when I knock on the door
I hear the clicking of keys
stop suddenly
and the creaking of wood
as he stands
shuffling his feet across the carpet
to unchain the lock
and slip me more tip
than I deserve
with the same plea
from the darkness
to "buy something nice for my kids"
I fight tears -
thank him
with a nod and
a promise
And for the brief moment
our eyes meet
through the crack in the door
I see the tear
well up in the corner of his eye
when he tells me again
“Hawaiian was her favorite.”
And all I can do is utter…
“I know.”
Author notes
I know
Written September 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Outaplaceyankee.
300 points, ended September 24, 2006, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the torn skirt .&& my lover, the dirt. by CarCrashHumor.
450 points, ended December 30, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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omg
....wow.
that was just so good, i'm not kidding
the last four lines were so deep and had so much hidden meaning
well in my opinion they did. i could just feel the mans hurt when i read it
i could almost picture this guy, sitting in his motel room with an empty box of pizza looking at old photographs
it really makes you wonder if this is a real person or not
ok, and now im babbling on
but i just wanted to say. really awesome work
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...
Wow .. I know, people say that a lot when they're too lazy to come up with a real review, but .. this is an amazing story. Is it true? I certainly hope not, because it would be terrible .. I know things like that happen every day, but .. I don't know, it just strikes me harder when I see it written like this, through the shattered life of the family ..
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I did so truely enjoy this
the story
the man
the woman
all of it!
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You know, Jen, you often keep me in stitches or tears and this time you did a bit of both. You seem to have that special inner wisdom about people, their needs, their hearts their very souls.
This piece shares so much compassion and kindness. You have that way about you, my friend... that wonderful way of expressing the inexpressable. You take life, happiness and misery and turn it into poetry.
You let me feel this man's pain, his determination. And your own thoughts and feelings softly ooze from the page.
Superb work, Jen
love and
Dee
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wow
this is just...wow
amazing write, you have painted a picture with your words that i can almost see asthough it were infront of me
i wish you best of luck in the contests
amazing write
lucy
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You always write with such compassion!
And ... you do not only take snapshots with your camera, but with your eyes and your soul. Better still: you create poetry with your camera, and paint photos with your words ... This poem is a typical example of JenArt.
Multitasking all the time, you give multimeaning to a multitude of emotions. Thank you Jen for being the sensitive soul you are and for your poetic reflections.
Miss you -- it has been such a hectic time, I think for us both.
Love
Myra
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This is great. I immediatly got hooked on the poem, not just because it tells a story but also because of the way you showed every detail. It feels like im really there and i can hear the door and the background noise of people talking.
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wow... i really like this. very creative and visually explicit. i liked the last lines as well, the girl's words. awesome.
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OK.....It is official. You are now one of my two or three favorite poets on this site. I can't even crit this, and that's saying something. I'm fully aware of my own inflated self opinion! Heartwrenching, twists and turns, this one has it all!
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"dressed in Wednesday’s suit
and Monday’s stubble."
I liked your descriptions in this! -
Jesus, jen....how did I miss this one.
I have goosebumps after reading this. I sometimes forget that one of my favorite things about your poetry has always been the way you SEE people when others stop looking, and the way you feel what they feel. I hope he finds what he is looking for....
Heavy poetry really, I'm gonna have to go look at kittens and lift my mood back up, lol
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This is an amazing write. What a sad story. The imagery painted a picture quite nice, and the detail did not give away what was to come prematurely. Thanks for entering.
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This is amazing, it kept me guessing right up to the very end, such a sad story, and I feel for the man, I can't imagine anything like this happening. You are wonderful for writing this piece and getting his story out. I will remember her if I ever have Pizza again, as I too love Hawaiian.
Love you
Karen -
Wow.
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You endlessly impress me.
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Wow Jen...I know I start all my comments to you with the word "wow", but it's inevitable with poetry like this. That was (as someone else, and I'm sure many others have said) heart-wrenching...it gave me chills Jen, it really did...
Reading your poetry always makes me want to write...but also makes me feel like none of my writing would be very good...lol...I haven't written in a while, maybe I should try to muster up some inspiration
Keep posting Jen, you keep getting even more amazing with each one.
Kayla* -
Wow. That intense...I'm speechless and I admire you all the more for putting your feelings into this poem.
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when I worked fridays and yes
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Wow so were you actually the pizza person?
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Its a true story. His name was Tom and I believe her name was Amy. She was 13 when she was abducted by a man she met online.
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Holy God this is amazing!! Is this based on a real event or something you thought up? It's so real. So human. It made me want to cry. I love how it read like a story but was structured like a poem. I love how it wasn't about the narrator persay, but their relationship was developed however superficial. Soooo cool. It's absouletly astounding. Poingnent and to the point. Well done. Fabulous work. You can be assured that I'll be taking a look at the rest of your stuff.
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This is brilliant! I'm not sure what to say other than that. It seems to me that anything I say would pale in comparison to this great literary gem. GREAT JOB!!! - oce
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Excellent
This was awesome!! From structure to form; from story to poem, it was amazingly written. I don't know you and I'm proud. I have not read any more of your stuff and I'm already planning to add you to my favorites when I finish this comment.
Well done!!
John M. Swails
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thriller
the story kept me going, I was not sure how it was going to end. However, somewhere in the middle of it I got a little confused. My brain is a little fried though, so it might have been my fault. I got the basic jiff of the story though. It has been a while since I have read a story poem that is as suspense filled as this one. -
Wow, breathtaking, such a sad piece. I love how you did this. So true though too, we need to be so careful on here. Watch everything we say and who we say it too. Great write. I really liked it, correction, loved it. Keep on writing. You've got talent. God Bless!
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real I used to deliver pizza
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sad
Congratulations... you are the first to cause goosebumps. This poetic story starts us out on a inquisitive journey to where we don't know... we then forge forward and discover this deep heartwrenching story.... just a sad, dark read that causes a visual explosion and you just pulled it off with your obvious talent. Thank you for sharing your gift with us tonight. This sad and dark visual will sit with me a bit. -
This is truly spectacular. The utter hopelessness portrayed in this poem is so heartbreaking. Just so searching, so empty, so flashing lights in this neverending dirty place where I am living out my life through nothing. AH Its sooo sad god it's depressing. Very One Hour Photo.
o.0 -
this poem was shocking, and not what i expected when i clicked on the link to read it. i loved it. the emotions and feelings you put into the words and the poem in general were very good. i love the rhythym, while not always exactly precise, still almost perfect. it was beautifully written and for that i offer congratulations. one question i have though, is this fiction or real?
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extraordinary
that was heart retching. god that was such a wonderful piece, it brought a tear to my eye -
Wow. This was actually really interesting. I liked how the whole thing sort of unfolded itself slowly and how it all came together at the end. Great poem.
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Superb/Intriguing/Unique
Incredible. Very well written indeed. I could feel his pain. -
Deep
wow this was very deep and unique. I think you did a wonderful job on this write. The best of luck to you in the contest.
Kari
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