In darkness deep we wander
In silence loud we lie
Life itself an irony...
Aren't we doomed to die?
Remnants of a future
Fade into the night
Condemned soley to weakness
With delusions of our might.
I see a hopeless world here
A pointless life to lead.
Cursed by being human
What I want's not what I need.
Blood flows from my eyes
Fragile tears of crimson lace
Dreaming of another life...
And of another place.
We find an empty meaning
In the pointless lives we've led
But doesn't anybody know
That God's already dead?
It is the end of innocence
The moment we are born
From our first breath our soul is doomed
To live a life of scorn.
The day we fall in love
is the day our passion dies
And truth is but a distant dream
In a life that's built on lies.
I am but a speck of dust
With no purpose and no soul.
A ghost of an illusion
An illusion of a whole.
In darkness deep we wander
In silence loud and strong
We wait for Right to greet us
In this tangled web of Wrong.
It's satisfying sorrow
It's depressions happy tears.
The sadness of a life well led...
-The calm of wasted years.
~Klaire
Author notes
Feel free to comment on this poem. I'll appreciate any feedback. This is not my only poem, but I figured it was a good introduction to my work.
Written August 12th, 2006
A contest entry
- Many Options, come and see. by ForgottenMemories.
575 points, ended April 14, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me beauty, or give me death!! Just give me SOMETHING! by grrlshadow.
450 points, ended March 22, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give this AP orphan a family!! (COME ON GUYS! what's a family with out a FATHER figure.. even a GRANDPA.. ooo I want Grandparents..lol) by Angierie.
700 points, ended March 25, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - depressed by serenity silvermoon.
450 points, ended April 4, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever you want by whispernthedark.
541 points, ended April 10, 2007, 63 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need Favorites ^___^ by edit my world..
555 points, ended September 3, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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great
Very deep and flowing. Short correction on Gods...if you meant The Almighty, it would be God's. Otherwise if it is a pantheon...gods.
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WOW.
I have to say once again this could have been very emo, but it wasn't for it was smart. No sir this was philosophical.
I truly did like your take on how we were born into scorn. I mean a person doesn't choose to be born right?
Nonetheless, this was very very good.
I will try to read more.
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This is very well written, great piece. I do have to disagree with some of your thoughts, but I certainly know what it's like to live life looking through cynical eyes. Thanks for entering. whisper
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Amazing! Thanks so much for the entry.. but please put which member of my family you would like to be.
Thanks!!
Angie -
amazingly written, it is deep, dark and emotional. it shows suffering but understanding and I think that you have out done yourself. magnificent write, thanks for entering and good luck xShadx
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Wonderfully penned, love how you are so honest and aren't afraid to say what others are far too frightened to say, I am the same. Every word is truth and although it is depressed none the less, the truth hurts... Truth after all is a lie, so what way does it all go? Basically great poem and that is the truth.
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wow wow wow .. i love your poem... it has so much truth behind it... one of the best i have ever read.. good luck in the contest
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excellent
wow very nice, has an errie weird feeling to it, which really enhances th reading
keep up the good work
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WOW
I see a hopeless world here
A pointless life to lead.
Cursed by being human
What I want's not what I need.
INCREDIBLE!!! ... the rhythem and flow is beautiful ... you really know how to express yourself through poetry ... goodness keep up the good writing ... it is so wonderful ... god bless sweetheart ... keep writing and i'll keep reading!!!! welcome my luv!
<3 Sparky
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Kewl
A ghost of an illusion
An illusion of a whole.
In darkness deep we wander
In silence loud and strong
We wait for Right to greet us
In this tangled web of Wrong.
It's satisfying sorrow
It's depressions happy tears.
The sadness of a life well led...
-The calm of wasted years.
Powerfully phrased!!! -
10/10
Like it. The rhyme scheme is consistant, very good use of wording, and I just love the dark atmosphere you conjure with your poetry. I'd say you earned a perfect 10. ^_^ -
This had a soft flowing dark element throughout...and i think the rhyme did it justice...Reminded me of an old horror film...with someone reading a monologue...Ver Nicely Written
Fern
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This keeps up a fairly strong meter throughout... and what you speak of is definitely true enough.. I might have liked to see more of a question twirled on the end, but that's my personal preference..
I do quite like the way this zig zags through opposites.. thank you for your comment on mine and welcome to AP.
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