Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Standing In The Edge

Inside, outside
All up and down
The water's rising
And soon you're gonna drown
Hold on tightly
So I can let go
Staying up nightly
It's starting to show
Burn me forever
Let me save myself
Love me never
Put you on a shelf

Standing in the edge then
Swallow the poison now
Curtain calls again
Let me see you bow
Staring straight ahead
Looking both ways
Bleeding black dread
Guns ablaze

Standing on the edge now
Standing on the edge now

Standing in the edge now. . .

Author notes

I've got some interesting comments on this about revenge and being betrayed. I can see where you guys are coming from now.
Written September 15th, 2006

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • enlightenedatheist
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    darkness, darkness, everywhere, not a bit of light to drink.....

  • Topnotchsy
    May 9
    Edit | Reply
    I don't see the revenge angle much, but it's a well written piece. Nice write here.


  • Shadowed Days
    September 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    simply perfect

    This is one of the best poems I've read from anyone which is really saying something considering some of the poems i've read. this is a great work since it wasn't wordy. I didnt really get revenge though when i read it( but i can see how others do) I thought it was about you wanting to let go and give up or something so you don't have to worry about it anymore but that's just me. super de duper job and i want to read more like this.


  • ShadowStalker
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I don't really see how this was about revenge. To me it seems like you're the one that did the betraying and you've finally see what's going to happen. Excellent write Connor, and you deserve my applause once again.

    Schmitty


  • Kari gold member
    September 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Deep

    This was really done good..I loved it. Each line was deep and clever.Thanks for sharing this piece with us.

    Kari


  • CokebottleEyes
    September 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i read payback and revenge in this...possibly constructed by one person for another...and the person constructing the revenge knows it, lures the other and saves himself despite knowing he'll go to hell.
    thoroughly engaging write. it draws the reader in. very few words are used which is cool. there's also enough looseness in your poem so the reader can draw their own conclusions
    nicely done


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Easy to read these lines - lyrical in a way - liked the brevity of the lines and the flow of the piece. Someone is getting their just rewards from the sounds of this.

  • June-bug
    September 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    Very nice flow, it sounds like you are saying the narator had been burn enough by someone now that someone needs him and he is waiting for the opporturnity so he let go and get revenge. I agree with the above comment this is interesting. I am not sure if my interpretation is correct. but I enjoyed the read.


  • CBminstrel
    September 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting poem. It flows very well, the style simplistic, but that's what makes it work. You express the emotion in this well, creating that atmosphere and that image of being on the edge. Rather peacefully on the edge though...not crazy on the edge. A nice poem

1 - 9 of 9