Just down the street
A tragedy occurred
Just down the street
And I heard nothing
Not a word
The city watched
Horrified
Knowing there was pain inside
Misery and fear inside
Gunshots and tears inside
Nothing but to run and hide
Just down the street
A tragedy occurred
Just down the street
And I heard nothing
Not a word
There were people crying
Hurting, bleeding
Even dying
Just down the street
Author notes
I don't usually do dedications, but this poem is for the students at Dawson College.
-Ceilinh
Written September 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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awsome
is it just me... i see nothin wrong with this piece... i loved it really connected with the montreal shootin and almost made me cry almost.. lol well look forwad to readin more of your work
jessica -
oh wow this is mighty touching,
it is such ashame what goes on in this sick world today
when you can't even send your kids to school and think their safe.
these things don't just happen down your street,
they happen down everyone's street.
a student trying to learn one minute,
and gone the next,
my heart goes out to they child family.
things like this just breaks my heart.
you wrote such a lovely poem,
yet it is so sad.
great job and thanks for sharing.
joyce
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Great poem, I loved the whole poem just the way it is. Keep writing, glad to hear your cousin was not present at the time of the shooting. I can relate to this tragady, we had a shooting in the middel of the night, two blocks over from our home, and we were unaware of it till morning.
Again great job.
Kathy -
Impressive
Amazing what happens just down the street. -
your poem really shows how tragedy can be 'just down the street' yet we are unaware of it until we hear about it. it's an eerie feeling. we go about every day life and don't realize.
good poem bringing home a good point
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Thank you for your comment. I thought that the whole thing was horrible too. My cousin lives right accross the street from Dawson and I was just a few blocks away in class when it happened. I was totally freaked out by it, because I didn't know if she'd been there or not. Luckily she wasn't.
-Ceilinh -
very cool poem. i love the repition and the shattered innocence of the whole thing. it almost sounds like a nursery rhyme with a terrifying message hidden within. well done. thank you sharing and keep up the great writing.
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great job!!!!!
Hey,
This was a great poem...I think it is very sweet and nice..I have alot of family who lives down there and i live not to far away from the town and it was horrible absolutely horrible and the way that the media is putting the blame on vampire freaks is horrible and it has nothing to do with the internet..anyways sorry this poem had a great flow and you are a talented writter.
My favorite part was:
The city watched
Horrified
Knowing there was pain inside
Misery and fear inside
Gunshots and tears inside
Nothing but to run and hide
Just down the street
A tragedy occurred
Just down the street
And I heard nothing
Not a word
There were people crying
Hurting, bleeding
Even dying
Just down the street
keep up the great work! -
This poem is a great tribute and captures the sense of being touched in one way and yet remaining untouched in other ways when it senseless violence doesn't personally attack you. I disagree with the other comments about the use of "inside" over and over. However, I think you could add a line or two ending in "outside" as a contrast, such as:
The city watched
Horrified outside
Knowing there was pain inside
Misery and fear outside
Gunshots and tears inside
Something along those lines would contrast well with the rest of your poem which described being on the outside.
Just a thought and you know what to do with free advice!
Thanks,
Anne
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I loved this!! it felt like I was there, watching from the window. imagery is so pwerful and I love how you repeated the first stanza!!! keepthem coming
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Superb/Intriguing/Unique
Very well done indeed. -
The city watched
Horrified
Knowing there was pain inside
Misery and fear inside
Gunshots and tears inside
Nothing but to run and hide...
I thought this part could use a little more work...it didn't flow so well with the repitition of the word inside...Just a thought. see what you think...beautiful heart to write such a dedication to those students...thank you for sharing. keep up the great work. peace to you always in all ways...thanks again. -
owah! amazinngggly good! bravo!
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Great Write
Very powerful write. I really enjoyed this poem. I think this is a great peice of work to dedicate.
Luke
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