This man was there when I breathed first life,
This man was there when I took my first steps,
This man was there when I ate my first staple meal,
This man was there when I walked from a crawl,
This man was there when I prattled from an incoherent gurgle,
This man was there when I got my first spell of education,
This man watched me grow from child to woman,
This man was forced to as I was his seed and social care,
This man was a greedy man,
This man was a lecherous man,
This man was an antithesis of society,
I discovered as a woman,
He broke norms and more norms of society,
saw me as woman and not as a responsibility,
He broke faith of my other half creator,
He broke my faith,
from faith to faith,
he broke,day in day out,
now I sit sullen depressed and quiet,
with a belly thats swollen,
with the seed of the seed,
with my mother do I compete.
Author notes
with the seed of the seed,
with my mother do I compete.
Written September 15th, 2006
A contest entry
- my 2nd contest, being preggers & having kids (pre-writes allowed) by Shacadia Shay.
300 points, ended September 24, 2006, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rape by Angelic Vampiress.
600 points, ended July 20, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - something for everyone by -shiningstars-.
1100 points, ended August 16, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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WOW! This is a little bit sick i'm not going to lie. But at the same time really well written nice job.
~mackenzie
good luck -
this is a very good poem I lkied it alot
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Ohhh this is something I take it you went through the pain and came out a trooper. Be blessed and not stressed. excellent emotion
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WOW!!
This piece left me speechless and that's on your part. Very vivid with a hint of horrifying But if I wasnt horrified at the content then I would be a sick person. You did a great job on this. Well done...good luck...and blessed be. -
You have a gift for expressing yourself and this piece is no exception. It has a tinge of writers I have read in the past for compiling data and then dropping the punch line. Where it is all leading is left to the mind of the reader until you slam it home. RC
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wow! very powerful and depressing.thanks for sharing
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great poem
This was intense and so sad. Just to know there are people out there that would do this to there daughter is scary in it self. I am so sorry. Great write You be strong and keep writing for that is a great emotion releaser. -
Thank you for reading my work. This is a great write and quite intense too. Very well done good flow to the poem. Repetition of words make it more powerfull. Ami
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Chilling piece here, very vivid and emotional. Disturbing really! Well done!
DK -
This is one scary poem but since i've had a brother try to rape me, i think i understand it. A good thing is even people who have'nt experienced something like this can feel the pain, the impotent rage, the disgust. The structure works too, especially the repitition of "This man was..." & "He broke...". These are probably my favourite lines.
with a belly thats swollen,
with the seed of the seed,
with my mother do I compete.
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i hope this is not a truthful poem!
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WOW....very emotional...very descriptive...it almost hurt to read it. I dont mean that in a bad way. I felt her pain. You did a great job.
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Turn your heart to your father and forgive him, if I may be so bold. Such bitter fire withers even the finest flower. Be good to your child, for she will one day be a flower too.
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A contest like none other and you have brought a poem that is worthy of a king's ransom. Fine writing that I admire so much!
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Thank you so much.I am very much with you in full support
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this is well written & i can understand what its lyk just abit of imagenaion & you can see this poor person. this is very nicely written & i wish you the very best of luck in my contest.
--Blessed be--
Bradhadair
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