hush
let me forget
let me memorize the song
the wind sings in my ears
let me decipher
the secrets of the crickets
let the boasting crow
become beautiful
hush
let me forget
let me see a virgin world
where structure dissolves
into applauding green towers
pointing proudly to the sun
hush
let me forget
let the tender trickle
of water sound
erase haunting echoes
of shameful memories
at long last
hush
let me forget
all but gentle water
shielding trees
the shrill whistle
of hidden crickets
and this unspoiled pocket
of perfection
hush
let me forget
that just upstream
a rusting yellow tractor
belches suffocating exhaust
in time to the smooth hum
of tires on pavement
hush
let me forget
Author notes
The last week of summer vacation my sister and I went to visit my uncle in new brunswick and we visited the camp that belongs to my grandmothers side of the family and my great uncle took me and my sister on a boat ride on the miramichi river to the island his famliy owns... yup. this is about the boat ride. there were parts of it that all you could see was trees. no houses or people or anything... it was nice.
This poem was nominated for state recognition by my school. And I just found out last week that I won. YAY go me.
Written September 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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It really hits hard the way you start off with all the idyllic imagery, and then only in the last line give the comparison with the disgusting. It's a heartbreaking piece, and one I agree with entirely. Love the way you did this, great descriptive lines
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nice work
I like the way you repeated a line in this poem over and over. It sort of represented the never-halting flow of the river. Nice work and thanks for entering my contest! -
Way Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was amazing, love the flow and the way you make us stop and ponder before continuing to the next stanza,
let me decipher
the secrets of the crickets
let the boasting crow
become beautiful
/what talent, really, how do you think of these things, this is beautiful./
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Thank you sooo much!!!!! It kinda just comes to me... sometimes literally... like "Have You Seen my Soul" just randomly popped into my head in class once. Just the question. Then I added to it and made it wonderful, and now i love it. And this one... this one took a long time to write. I had the original feelings (that i wrote down while i was still feeling them) that in a few weeks became an odd assortment of lines which after 3 hours of revision became this.
Revision is key.
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This is cool. An original concept too! Sometimes I just want to shout, "SHUT UP!" so I can hear the silence.
I like to go out into nature for sancturary, but it's a shame when other people are out there destroying it.
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Thanks!!
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Thanks!!
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Excellent
You did a great job of taking the reader with you on the trip. I really enjoyed the repeat of the hush theme. I think it truly conveys how that type of experience affects us at times. Great job! -
*blinks* i don't know what all those big words mean, but thatnk you anyway
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A poem inspired by the river... amazing and beautiful! Very sort poem and I liked the serene feeling about it. Thanks for sharing!
--Tim -
An ingenious and unobsessively appealing discursive platitude of a poem.
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An excellent show of contrast between the peace of nature and the constant clatter of civilization. A very smooth, soothing
tone indeed...
-Eddy
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