Wondering around on old time stories
Listening to the wise mans pray
remember the long past memories
Listen to what to the old man has to say
Laying down on right eye-height
to never miss one important sight
Carrying a bird around as a friend
let this story telling never end
Author notes
yeey ... I like picture inspired rispetto, though this took me a lot of thinking and re-writing ( half an houre at home, 20 minutes in english class and another 10 minutes at home)
here it is!
enjoy
Written September 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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A very nice write. Good imagery and rhyme. Nice flow and descriptives. Good expression of feeling. My only suggestion is to check your syllable count and meter (each line should either be 8 syllables [iambic tetrameter] or 10 syllables per line [iambic pentameter]) Thank you for your entry. Shelley
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a good description of the picture.
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I liked the way you described the picture. Each time I read it I like it more. Thanks for sharing.
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you used interesting words to desceibe things i like this write..and now i must part....bye
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Ah I've viewed the picture from the competition and looked at the poem again. You captured the image in your words, and its quite fantasy-esque thanks to your imaginary and imagery. The rhyme scheme doesnt sound forced to me, so its great.
Keep it up, and goodluck in that contest
Cheers,
Khalid
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