Daybreak, sees her wind her way
down streets and alleys to the bay
Each shuffling step recalls the day
she said goodbye to Sam
September first, in sixty four
through veiled tears when last she saw
The ship that carried him to war
out to Viet Nam
He whispered to her, please be strong
I’ll be back soon, it won’t be long
she had a feeling he was wrong
while holding back a tear
Each day she waited patiently
for letters from across the sea
For what she saw upon T.V
filled her mind with fear
His letters made her miss him more
The cheerful tone, now not so sure
about the outcome of the war
or, when he’d be home again
Then came the day that she would dread
the telegram that simply said
He’s missing, we presume he’s dead
did something to her brain
Day and night she walked the street
each morning she went down to greet
Those returning with the fleet
now the war was through
She waits for Sam to reappear
the days that passed increased her fear
and every night she shed a tear
For deep inside she knew
Each day, for forty years or more
she's stood and gazed out from the shore
The reason now, became obscure
if she ever understood
Morning breaks another day
and sees her shuffle on her way
to spend a day down by the bay
because she feels she should
..
Author notes
Written September 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- ~Image Impression~ #3 by -Ink Artist-.
300 points, ended September 17, 2006, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 8 Sad/Nostalgia by cricketjeff.
1500 points, ended January 24, 2008, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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We are both big fans of triplets, and the rhyming of the fourth lines in each pair of stanzas is a very good touch. However it was these final lines thatmade it your second best entry. With a bit of attention to matching their to their length and meter this would be a wrold class poem.
Thank-you very much for your continued support in the series. When we started running these it was hard to find rhymers on AP who would admit their guilty secrets, now many of the best "Free-Versers" are entering!
On a more personal level I know that this series has improved my own poetry enormously and that Sue feels the same. We have also met a great many poets we did not know existed several of whom I now class as friends. Thank-you very much for this entry.
Jeff and Sue
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Once again a big thank you for my HM to be honoured with both entries is far more than anyone could expect As i have said before My writing does tend to be gut feelings on what arrives on the page.This is not always correct in the eyes of the reader .That i am forgiven this says more for the reader than the writer Thank you
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Thank you Athena for taking time to read and comment It really is appreciated Thank you
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Thank you Pam sorry about the lateness in answering this comment Somehow it slipped through and i missed it I am pleased to hear that you found it Enjoyable to read Your comments are always appreciated thank you
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Brilliant as always, have missed having my pc and reading your work, well done!
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Bravo!! Standing in applause!!
Again. You have brought me to tears with such a touching verse. It needs no graphic to display the images presented, yet the one used serves to enhance the emotions that simply burst when reading this beautiful piece. There is no good that comes of war. No good at all. Again, an amazing work from your golden pen. How wonderful to have touched on this one this morning. GREAT job. ~Pam 
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Thank you rebjean for such a wonderful comment.The winning of such trophies is sometimes down to luck, by that I mean that you have managed to produce what the setter likes It is not always that ones work is best or better just that it is what the person judging prefers I thank you so much for your most welcome comments
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Thank you so much Sonja for for your wishes Please never believe that your work is not worthy of being held in the highest Esteem.It Is It is only the strength of other poets that lead me to stretch myself more.With out their wonderful pieces I would not expand my own thoughts Thank you
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Thank you Leil for taking time to read and comment I really do appreciate it Thank you
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I hadn't been online to look over the entries for a few days, so what a wonderful, wonderful surprise to read this poem! It is PHENOMENAL!!!! Definitely worthy of the gold... I never stood a chance!
The highest of congratulations to you. Very, very well done!
Edited on Sep 18, 3:13 p.m. because ''. -
Congratulations Legend for your new shiny gold trophy. As I said I had no chance to run next to you
~Sonja~ -
wow...this is so gripping...and ive enjoyed reading every word of your wonderful poem...congratulations!
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Thank you so much Dove for your comment and wishes
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This is an absolutely amazing piece. The story that it told is so true, and so heartwrenching. This is a brilliant poem, and congratulations on your win.
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A great gold winning poem you have penned here - fits perfectly with the picture. Cingratulations on your win!
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I love the rhyme scheme in this wonderful poem. Very gold worthy, Bravo
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Excellent piece.great story behind it well done on a well deserved gold.
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Thank you so much Pozo for taking time to read and to give such a nice comment. The image is mainly to take the credit as it provided the inspiration.There is so much to see in this picture that every entry produce a wonderful take on it Thank you once again
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Thank you Anna for your most welcome comments It will be good to see you writing once more I seemed to have missed a few of your lately .It is always my pleasure to hear from you Thank you
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A very good poem with an interesting rhyme scheme. I like the flow of this poem. This poem showed the love from the woman to Sam really well. This was a really good narrative piece This was really poignant. I found the pace of this quite fast in places. Good use of internal rhyme for example, ‘day…bay’. Keep writing, I found this was a very interesting poem about wartime. Good luck in the contest
All the best
Pozo
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What a beautiful poem you have written here... I sympathize with the lady... she must be so lonely and sad... never seen her husband again after 40 years, after he went to Vietnam. Beautifully done Legend. I hope I will get the inspiration again soon, so that I can write some nice poetry as well.
Anna.
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Thank you Sandy I think we ( the people learn) it is the leader we elect who do not.Perhaps if they had to lead from the front like the leaders of olden times did they would think twice. So pleased you enjoyed this one I am quite happy with it , which makes a change for me
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WONDERFUL
WOW!!!! Legend, This was an amazing story. So sad but true for some. That was a sad time for this country too. Seems we never learn and keep repeating our mistakes at the expense of our soldiers lives. This was a very moving story that pulled at my heart strings. Best of luck. Take care, Sandy -
Thank you Sonja for taking time to read and comment I really do appreciate you doing so Thank you
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Your story is different but also sad and as always nice written, good flowing with great expressed feelings. Wish you a good luck too.
~Sonja~ -
thank you Lori, for providing the image that gave rise to the inspiration.It is always pleasing to get such feed back from a fellow poet.As you said those left behind are sometime forgotten,their pain is never eased no matter how many years have flown
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Thank you Jim sorry to hear that this may have set off old memories.I saw the image and it came to mind.I have to say that I am pleased with this one, not always something i am.As you know i have a great deal of time for all who answer the call. But more so those who are left to worry. Thank you so much for your comments as ever they are appreciated
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Excellent!! A beautifully sad and poignant write!! I thoroughly enjoyed the unique structure and impeccable rhyming pattern in this piece. You held me captive until the end. The story you told was not only relatable but an intriguing portrayal of the reality of those left behind during war. I enjoyed reading this immensely!! Thanks for your entry and good luck!!
~Lori~ -
Again another unique style in this write. And again the rhythm and rhyme are impecable.
The subject material is very close to my heart and still troubling to both me and my wife. We lost many friends.
Jim -
Thank you Shaz, I have to give credit to the image provided for this contest.It made me look deeper at it than just an old lady.It is wonderful what a picture can do, its true what they say it can paint a thousand words and everyone will see it different Thank you for reading and taking time to comment
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You told this story beautifully--expressing the pain and fears of seeing a loved one go off to war not knowing the final outcome. A wonderful piece of work allowing the reader to step into another's shoes and experience the anguish which comes when saying goodbye. Excellent!. good luck in the contest with this beautiful entry.
Shaz xx
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