Gave into that blade again last night
I tired my best, I put up a fight
My wrists aren't "normal" anymore
The urge struck me down at the core
Tears were falling
That blade was calling
I just couldn't take it
My life is filled with too much s-h-i-t
You were peacefully sleeping on the phone
What I was doing on the other end to you was unknown
But without cutting I didn't feel whole
Like a piece was missing from my soul
But after I cut the piece returned
As salty tears fell down, it burned
I only made it seven days
I just threw it all away
All the nights I won, worth nothing
All the pain I felt, the suffering
Don't know why I even try
Tears filled with pain fall as I cry
I can't do all the stuff I'm dealt
I'm so numb, I've never felt
Happiness seems like a dream
Wanting it back as I scream
Locked up feelings, oh how they kill
Take it all away with a bottle of pills
Last night I just wanted to die
Drown in all the tears I cried
Hoping, Wishing, Praying to die tonight
Because no longer can I fight
Author notes
Written September 12th, 2006
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if i've ever read anything sadder i've forgotten it.
it sucks to work towards something and to give it ur best shot and then just fall back... still
you tried ur best.
that's what matters
you gave it your best shot
thats all anyone can ask right?
CJ -
One day at a time my friend. We take our losses and wins the same. Each day promises a new start. Keep trying my friend. You can overcome and rise above the pain.
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great poem
i think she meant you 'can' make it eight days next time... lol
but in anycase... 7 days 'is' a long time... your alot stronger than you think you are... stronger than me, thats for sure... you put up with sooo much shit, you cut you cry you bleed and yet your still here... what youve gone through would break most people fully grown people would have given up by now... keep fighting, please because it isnt a loosing battle, its just a long one and were all here if you need us -
*hugs* its okay
it will all be okay
Seven days is a long time so its okay
you cant make it eight days next time
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