So easy to remember..
The life filled with no cares at all..
Then...Damn him!!
Damn him to the pits of a never ending inferno!
"What amusing thoughts, my dear..."
That voice..
Her levels of rage were quick to fall.
How, in the back of her mind, she wished to lash out at him..
But he could always prevent it with a single thought.
"You are mine... now and always."
The fighting spirit holding by a thread called for defiance..
But he could bring to a cease any brawl.
His piercing eyes accompanying that sly smirk.
It was just pouring salt on the wound.
"Come to me, my dear..."
At his words, she'd take her leave.
Unable to even so much as stall.
A man who took pleasure in killing those she loved
was the man who forever controlled her.
"Rose, my feisty pet..."
Eyes filled with a hate
as she came at his call...
She'd never be free from her sire,
that had drained her of the sweet taste of life.
"I need to feed, my dear..."
Fingers brushed away the dark hair covering her neck.
The haunting figure stood almost seven feet tall..
That face enough to worry the boldest warrior..
A hand holding tight to a fist full of her hair.
"Remember, you're always mine..."
Author notes
If anyone doesn't understand this, I can explain.In one form of a strict description of vampiric lifestyle, there was a ~different~ interpretations of sire. A Sire is one who turns another into a vampire is the Sire. In the belief I mentioned, it was thought that the original Sire had FULL control over his fledgings(those he turned). So unless the Sire was killed, the fledgings were as his eternal slaves.
I hope this explains things to make the poem make more sense. @.@
Written September 12th, 2006
A contest entry
- i want you guys to write dark stuff... really good dark stuff by MelissahhMidnite.
300 points, ended October 19, 2006, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampire Love by Trust Calvaire.
430 points, ended December 2, 2006, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MY HUMONGOUSLY AWESOME KINDAH FANTASY CONTEST! by HarvesterOfHearts.
700 points, ended September 7, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is a very good story, excellently paced.
As well as the vampiric connotation, this is written in such a way that the reader can take several interpretations from it.
Good write. Congrats on bronze.
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incredible
i loved this! i simply loved it!
it was so dark, keeping you on the edge of you seat a all times... and it was so.... vampiresque... you know!
this is exactly waht i was looking for in a dark-type fantasy!
you're fantastic!
i wish you luck!
~lostelvenchild
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thanks for entering inmy contest great poem by the way hope to read more and good luck smiles
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great work, i have never seen anyone take vampirism to this level before!
thank you for entering the contest
~kyo-kun~ -
I accept your point although it is hard to see. Mainly I asked for it to be removed not so much for the poem but because it was a pre write.As i have said The poem I enjoyed But when others are to judge and have to conform to the rules then I can not in all honesty let one contestant break them Sorry Good luck with your witting
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It may not be an A-B-A-B rhyming poem. But it does have a subtle rhyme scheme, but alright.
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This is a very well written poem that I enjoyed reading sadly it is not what was asked for in the contest The requirement was for rhyming poetry only. Also it was not open to pre writes Clearly this is one such as the comments on it make clear. I am sorry but i will have to ask you to remove it from this contest.
This is not a knock to your work just applying the rules. Good luck with your writing -
^^'' Yeah.. I forgot to put the name the first time and I tried to stop it before it went through. I guess I failed. >.<
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I applauded and commented the older version of this that was entered first, but I'll copy the comment here as this seems to be the finished product :-)
Oh yes, it makes sense :-) This poem really tells the story of that sort of Sire. It matches the picture well, and picks up on the danger and edge of the vampire. I liked that this told a full story, it wasn't just descriptive, it was a really good story all the way through, with a beginning a middle and an end. It was suitably dark and really had that vampire story feeling to it...well done :-)
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