Among crystal glades of crisp verdant hue,
a liquid fractal Kaleidoscope plays.
Melodic gems flutter, waxing adieu;
Mother Earth welcomes the first autumn days.
Water colors wane, as magic is drained.
Ignite ritual pyre for shades of fire.
The Guardian Queen - silver mane flowing,
dips delicate horn to withering earth.
a touch, the heart stone for springtime growing,
secured now in slumber, waiting rebirth.
Unicorn races, pulls back Spring's traces.
Phoenix returns, liquid tones it must burn.
He takes the mantle, as green melts to gold,
Silver tinged maiden breathes last hushed goodbye.
Season's heart stone he protects in his hold,
Cycle now complete with a flame tipped sky.
Until it's repeal, this circling wheel
rotates to the tune and tide of the Moon.
Author notes
I chose Option #1
I am not exactly sure where this came from. I was trying to combine the options, giving a poem full of metaphore and beauty... as well as writing a fantasy poem. What I came up with, was a poem that IS a fantasy metaphor for the changing seasons of spring/summer to fall/winter. I hope you enjoy it!
Written September 11th, 2006
A contest entry
- Options, Options, Options!!!!! U know u wana take a looky!! by ForgottenMemories.
550 points, ended May 25, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.
You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got. -
Wow gurrl. I like this, it's cute. Although I don't comprehend all the metaphors too well. I'm terrible at such deeply profound metaphors. But I love it. And I hope this comment does'nt waste your points. Although I don't know how to advertise my own poems I love that you decided to post it up here unaware how everyone is gonna take it. I hope you win the contest or won the contest.
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enchanting
odd that you would use a pheonix to show fall/winter. it's really more of a spring 'rebirth' thing, but then this is rather original use to kudos to you. lovely language, and the style is quite fitting to the poem.
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awsome
tis was awsome..i loved it. if you keep on writing like tis you will go far. great metaphors in here..and it was most definatly beautiful and intersting. keep up the great work
s.m. -
Not exactly sure
Because you said , I needed to say.Leave a Comment,And go on wy way.I ask the same ,If you will go.Check out my stuff,rate how I show. If you don't,let it be said.I'll send a black mamba ,to sleep in your bed.So if you go looking,at things I have written. Then I'll trade the manba ,for a cute little kitten.......Just kidden......I wasn't going to leave a comment but your message inspired me to to leave a comment,I hope you like it.rudolf -
this was a pretty cool poem, i liked the metaphors used in it, they were interesting to behold... along with the rhyming, very 'interesting' i like this style of writing.... it gets me thinking ^_^
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i love the way you melt and burn the seasons. i paint with watercolors and sometimes it's hard to get just the right amount of water mixed with the paint so it doesn't bleed all over the place. sometimes metaphors are like that - finicky and the poet must be cautious./ i feel like you balanced the joy and freedom of the water with the magical beauty of all the colors of paint. it's a beautiful piece. i loved the mythology interlaced as though the personified seasons almost defend themselves. it's a competition of time and no one really wins but it's a pretty amazing battle to watch all the same.
the two parts that hold my eye "silver mane flowing,
dips delicate horn to withering earth" and "green melts to gold" it makes me think of alchemy and wizards... merlin and guenivere and ancient sorcerers...
just playful and wonderful and i loved it!! -
this is great!! paints a gorgous picture when you read it!! the metaphors you use are perfect and also beautiful!! I love it!! you must have an amazing imagination i love to know where it all came from lol!! well done
bertiexx -
There's so much excellence in this poetry, where to begin? I love the way it's so descriptive, it paints the picture and sets the mood wonderfully. The vocabulary used is just superb, it makes it shine and glow. And to top it all off, the form and flow was perfect. Well done, great poem!
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It took me a while to work out the rhythm, but, hey! poetry isn't only supposed to be easy. I liked the theme, the rhyming, the rhythm, the whole poem to be exact. Wonderful imagination!
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this was really good. it was intresting how you came out with the fantasy metaphor for the seasons. this was an enjoyable read. Great job.
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Very nice. I hope to see more from you
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This was great.I liked the internam rhyming in it and the flow and content too were great.Thanks for entering and best of luck
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beautiful
Tis a magnificently beautiful image and metaphor you have presented. A great combination of the options. The unicorn as the silvery moon and phoenix rising as the sun can be seen as night turning into day also. So there are so many levels that you have provided. Gets my applause.
Well done.
Mouser
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