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I am an autumn leaf

I am an autumn leaf floating on a river
winding between the mountains and the sea
It's so peaceful as I pass over rocks and waterfalls
just merrily floating with the tide towards the ocean
I take in all the sights along the way
the beautiful forests just losing their autumn leaves
I see the picnickers by the riverside
the boats upon the  water
I see the beautiful blue sky
and lush green grasses
I see beauty of nature untouched by man
I smell the freshness of the air
I float towards the edge of the river
a small boy reaches in and picks me up
He takes a moment to admire my lovely autumn colours
and says "Mummy, come look what I found"
She comes to see and admires me too
and says "Toss it back on the water so it can be enjoyed by others"
The little boy thinks a moment and does just that
and bids me farewell as I drift away
I hope I see my little friend again one day
but even so the memory of his pleasure and gentleness will stay with me
I float along downstream in the calm, warm water
and give thanks to Mother Nature for creating me.




Author notes

Please do not name me in comments as this is anonymous contest..Poem has only 24 lines not 39 as it says on entry page ok so it fits in with your rules. Good luck all

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1 - 11 of 11

  • Florida Sunshine
    October 5, 2007

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    This is a awesome description what it would be like if you were a leaf. ~ I enjoyed the ride ~ overall its a nice poem.

    Thanks so much for entering my season contest ~ good luck to you~


  • DolphinLass silver member
    February 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for comment on my poem


  • sheltered
    February 7, 2007
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    Congrats to you too. I see we both won but in different comtests. Nicely done.

    Tim

  • Son of Jim
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering this contest, the work you have done to show a different perspective shows through. remember not to respond to this message and if you choose to edit, repost with revised in title and attach original.

    Good things: Poetic devices used, especially personification to which is so key in perspective pieces, the overall experience of being a leaf, the narrative and imagery.

    things I'd look into: If I were to make one recommendation it would be the "I" overuse. I would try and find a way of wording it out, example: I see beauty of nature untouched by man - during my travels many things are experienced; the smell of the fresh air, the blue skies, the lush green grass and the beautiful scenes of nature untouched by man.

    Overall: this poem really is the type of poem I was looking for, well done. thanks for entering.
    Jim


  • Errant Panther gold member
    September 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    excellent work, congrats on the trophy for this it was well deserved


  • Glenda L Hand
    September 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is very nice, serene and yes it is okay normally to enter poem from another contest, though usually it is not one that has gotten a trophy before. One suggestion, you personify the leaf and talk of other leaves as they are things, would the leaf not see other leaves differntly? Thank yoiu for your entry. Be blessed. Glenda


  • XxMissundastoodxX
    September 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That was a very peaceful and serene write, well deserving of the second placing it recieved

    Congratulations once again,
    Mareta


  • DolphinLass silver member
    September 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry for the delay in re enter poem but I was in hospital and had no net access till now and didnt know of trophy win


  • DolphinLass silver member
    September 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks I am so honoured it was a great welcome home present as I just got out of hospital this afternoon after being in there from tuesday to friday afternoon as a result of pneumonia..i been sick awhile and was sick when i wrote that poem..i am weak/get little breathless but a lot better than i was and will be resting a lot..Thanks for selecting my poem as worthy of a trophy


  • PoetsAngel
    September 11, 2006
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    This is so serene, made me feel all calm and happy, penned beautifully my friend


  • Melodies
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful writing!

    Gasp...quietly...THIS POEM IS BEAUTIFUL! I am so impressed by the sweet magnificence of this message. You have written it so well! I am sending you a little pet: and my thanks for coming to my poetry party!

1 - 11 of 11