Here I sit frozen in fear,
With my lost love's souvenir;
Your photograph in my hand,
Turned grim by a heart's remand.
Crimson stains mar this token
Of one more romance broken
By savage words unspoken.
My mind knew reality
But all this brutality
Has now turned me quite insane
And has altered my domain.
So I weep while the walls bleed,
The floor crawls with bugs that breed,
And tears make my skin recede.
Slivers of my broken heart
Slowly slit my throat apart,
Spilling the innocent soul
And giving your ghost control.
Your emerald eyes impart
That this thirst will not depart;
You will always own my heart.
Broken I reach for a blade
To end despair's masquerade;
As I carve into my wrist
I feel my spirit resist.
Angels now surround me here
Mourning as my death draws near
And I start to disappear.
Author notes
Image By: RalucaElf at deviantart.com
This is a fiction account of a woman haunted by the ghost of her lover driving her to insanity and then suicide. It was written for a word bank contest.
In a list
A contest entry
- 2nd Contest: Wordbanks. by inkstaind.
300 points, ended September 19, 2006, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Glorious
Wished it would never end -
A Suggestion...?
oooooooooo! It's soo dark and creepy! I LOVE it!!! Some of your rhyme seems repetitive (how you have the rhyme scheme aabbccc, ddeefff, gghhiii...etc.) I think it would flow better if you kept it aabbcc, having even rhyme...do you get what I mean? lol. I'm starting to confuse myself. *chuckle* Anyways...I loved it either way, it kinda has a mystery behind it. It makes you wonder what this girl could have really gone through to make her sink this low, while at the same time, you're more interested in reading the next line to find out what happens to her next. I loved the suspense and imagery. Your title really drew me to your poem. Great job. Plus I like the background and pic...and your "face" photo too. lol. I LOVE angels, and dark angels are my ultimate fav. Thanks for the great read! Keep it up and good luck in the contests you have entered. Best wishes
~jessica
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Nice! I liked the lines:
"Slivers of my broken heart
Slowly slit my throat apart,
Spilling the innocent soul
And giving your ghost control.
Your emerald eyes impart
That this thirst will not depart;
You will always own my heart."
-Sally -
Deep awesome write Lilly. You shed tattooed tears with this one. My fav stanza is
My mind knew reality
But all this brutality
Has now turned me quite insane
And has altered my domain.
So I weep while the walls bleed,
The floor crawls with bugs that breed,
And tears make my skin recede.
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congradulations on the silver. personaly i would have it gold... but shh i'd like to keep it
no no it's awesome..
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congrats i loved this poem
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so beautiful, thank you for entering. good luck
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deep
I think this is really deep, especially the line about crimson stains, and slitting your throat.
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